10months on & no better


#1

Hi. I’m new here.
I started 2 rounds of ivf egg donation in 2012. The 1st round was a straight up negative result. The second round in September however was a positive & I then proceeded to miscarry at 12 weeks.

I have been having counselling each week for the past 16weeks at a pregnancy crisis place & felt I was getting somewhere. I was ready to talk about the miscarriage & look forward to distressing so we could try again with a match we possible have in September.

That was until my sister in law decided that after 3 weeks of being with her new boyfriend she’s pregnant & I wish that she could lose her baby do she could remotely feel how I feel & what I go through everyday & take on board her comments of its one of those things , you’ll get over it!

My mum doesn’t know I had the second miscarriage due to her response on the 1st negative of I hate kids why would you want one! My dad doesn’t understand, nor do my parents in law as they don’t understand anything.

I’ve cried for the past 48 hours & don’t want to see my sister in law anymore.


#2

Focus on you

You cant be mad at ignorance. You are right…someone who has not gone through a miscarriage has no idea what it feels like. Sometimes, people just try to say things to make us feel better when really they should say nothing at all. I lost my twin boys almost 6 weeks ago and they were 20 weeks and I have gotten a lot of support and sweet comments and some comments that made me want to punch a person in their face but none of it made the pain go away or made it any easier. Time is the only thing that will help, and I feel like there will always be a twinge of pain for my boys.
Focus on you, your spouse and your options and don’t waste your energy on the negative. I wish you all the best…and am here if you need to talk, vent or hopefully celebrate!


#3

Extremly sorry for your loss. Yes, unless someone goes through it they can’t really understand the magnitude of loss we feel unless we carry a sad face around which we don’t as we want privacy. I was very close to my sisters and even then I couldn’t share my feelings. Luckily they just kept quiet and moved on as if the episode didn’t happen. Even my husband did better than me. I used to cry every 10 minutes for 3 months. It just got better by time. Now I am only emotional during babys birthday. I still get emotional when someone says they got pregnant. I sometimes cry too for maybe 5min but just move on as I feel silly for crying on others happiness. I think it is normal to have these rollercaoster feelings. Personally I think I am a better person now as I have experienced the pain, I don’t wish any kind of pain on anyone and am more patient to others.
I am sure you will feel better soon as you will start looking forward to september and its ok to cry and think bad things. You will heal/accept it faster that way and move to your success rd. Wish you all the best.


#4

But it’s worse I’ve been honest writing a letter to my sister in law & have been told I have a mental illness & need help