10months on & no better


Hi. I’m new here.
I started 2 rounds of ivf egg donation in 2012. The 1st round was a straight up negative result. The second round in September however was a positive & I then proceeded to miscarry at 12 weeks.

I have been having counselling each week for the past 16weeks at a pregnancy crisis place & felt I was getting somewhere. I was ready to talk about the miscarriage & look forward to distressing so we could try again with a match we possible have in September.

That was until my sister in law decided that after 3 weeks of being with her new boyfriend she’s pregnant & I wish that she could lose her baby do she could remotely feel how I feel & what I go through everyday & take on board her comments of its one of those things , you’ll get over it!

My mum doesn’t know I had the second miscarriage due to her response on the 1st negative of I hate kids why would you want one! My dad doesn’t understand, nor do my parents in law as they don’t understand anything.

I’ve cried for the past 48 hours & don’t want to see my sister in law anymore.


Focus on you

You cant be mad at ignorance. You are right…someone who has not gone through a miscarriage has no idea what it feels like. Sometimes, people just try to say things to make us feel better when really they should say nothing at all. I lost my twin boys almost 6 weeks ago and they were 20 weeks and I have gotten a lot of support and sweet comments and some comments that made me want to punch a person in their face but none of it made the pain go away or made it any easier. Time is the only thing that will help, and I feel like there will always be a twinge of pain for my boys.
Focus on you, your spouse and your options and don’t waste your energy on the negative. I wish you all the best…and am here if you need to talk, vent or hopefully celebrate!


Extremly sorry for your loss. Yes, unless someone goes through it they can’t really understand the magnitude of loss we feel unless we carry a sad face around which we don’t as we want privacy. I was very close to my sisters and even then I couldn’t share my feelings. Luckily they just kept quiet and moved on as if the episode didn’t happen. Even my husband did better than me. I used to cry every 10 minutes for 3 months. It just got better by time. Now I am only emotional during babys birthday. I still get emotional when someone says they got pregnant. I sometimes cry too for maybe 5min but just move on as I feel silly for crying on others happiness. I think it is normal to have these rollercaoster feelings. Personally I think I am a better person now as I have experienced the pain, I don’t wish any kind of pain on anyone and am more patient to others.
I am sure you will feel better soon as you will start looking forward to september and its ok to cry and think bad things. You will heal/accept it faster that way and move to your success rd. Wish you all the best.


But it’s worse I’ve been honest writing a letter to my sister in law & have been told I have a mental illness & need help