I’m in my fourth cycle of IVF/FET. Every time, my RE has said pelvic rest until the beta (assuming it’s a strong positive). In cycles where I had a low beta, that rest continued until the pregnancy ended, just in case. In this cycle, finally I have good strong betas and was actually not advised about orgasm or sex going forward. I assume, based on past cycles that orgasm is ok post-beta in this case.
I also tend to O in my sleep from crazy sex dreams about every other day. This didn’t happen to me in past cycles - probably a result of the much higher hormones in what seems to be so far a healthy pregnancy. It’s unfortunate that doctors seem to not get how common this is and that “pelvic rest” isn’t entirely under our control.
I agree that given that doctors’ recommendations in this area vary SO widely, there is not much science involved in this decision (aside from specific individual circumstances where pelvic rest may be more clearly indicated). I have a couple of competing theories about the various recommendations. If anyone’s curious about this stuff…
Theory #1 is that doctors really want to be helpful, as much as possible. That goes double when a patient has had one or more miscarriages. Miscarriage is in many ways very mysterious, however, and both doctor and patient have little control in the matter. In an effort to offer as much sense of control as possible, doctors begin to think, “well, maybe abstaining from sex/orgasm might help.”
Theory #2 is that the “mother/whore” dichotomy is alive and well in our culture. If you google widely for women’s opinions about sex after IVF, you’re sure to find a number of posts I’ve found overtly offensive, implying that women who want a baby so badly as to go through IVF really have no right to consider something as base as masturbation or sex. Doctors, being people raised in the same culture as the rest of us, are not immune to this bias, even if it’s in a less overt form.
Given that most docs give the ok to orgasm and/or sex after a healthy beta, I think you’d be safe with masturbation at least as there is no risk of infection there.