AHHH! I'm so over this!


#1

Ladies,

I need to vent! I am so over people asking me if I am pregnant!!! I can’t handle it anymore. One of these days I am going to fly off the deep end and it won’t be pretty.

Within the past month, I have had 2-3 people per week as me if I was preggers. I feel like screaming," NO I"M NOT EFFIN PREGNANT AND IF I WAS YOU WOULD BE THE LAST TO KNOW!!" The second I decline a glass of wine or if I’m not drinking coffee at school the pregnancy police are all over me. Seriously, from my boss, to coworkers and even close friends and family; are people really that RUDE?!?!

The other day, my coworker pulls me aside and asks if I was preggers. “No. Im sorry Im not. Just fat I guess. Maybe I should loose weight?” The week before my boss did the same thing. When I told her I wasn’t she gave the the “once over” This morning, my coworker, "Oh, your not drinking coffee today?!? Wink, wink. NO I NOT EFFIN PREGNANT you A-HOLES!!!

UGHHHH!!

Feeling somewhat better…

What have you done or what do you say to people who continually ask? I’m so over being nice about it. I am tempted to say, “Well, we are still trying to absorb the news that we can’t have children, but if a miracle happens I will be sure to let you know.” However, im too afraid I will jinx myself!


#2

Next time someone ask, just let them know that you are currently TTC with infertility treatments. So the no coffee or wine or the slight weight gain is all the drugs you’ve been pumping your body with to TRY to have a child. Just be honest with them. When people don’t know and a change is made they start asking questions. Sometimes being more open about IF and treatments is better than hiding it all.


#3

Missing- The people that ask are the ones who know wer are going through infertilty treatments. That’s what blows my mind.


#4

What I want to tell you to say is “After some very painful and extensive testing, I’ve found out I’m allergic to caffeine and nudniks” and walk away. But I won’t. :smiley:

Sorry people can be so insensitive, insipid and inane.


#5

Try to look at it from their view. They probably do not realize they are being insensitive. If they did, I doubt they’d say it. Sometimes we get upset thinking people should recognize their idiotic statements, and the truth is, they just don’t realize that what they’re saying upsets us. Most of the time they are just hoping with us that we are pregnant but do not know how to say it without being insensitive.

My new saying is, “No, not yet, but we’re having fun working on it!” Most people are too embarrassed to continue the conversation.

Baby dust to you. It’s a hard journey!


#6

Ah. prinny is nicer than I! :smiley:


#7

Just got fed up with having my feelings hurt all of the time! lol!


#8

if these are the same people asking over and over, they have to be pretty clueless not to realize how insensitive they are being. I would just be honest and say," You know we are trying, I really don’t like being asked all the time, If/when I get pregnant you will know because I will be shouting it from the rooftops. Please don’t keep asking me." I think honesty is best, and politely asking them to drop it is perfectly OK.
:cross:


#9

This is what I did. I told people we were having a really hard time and were going to a specialist for help. I also said it was kind of a touchy subject with me. Well, that shut them up. After they have me the obligatory “relax and it will happen”. I HATE THAT PHRASE!


#10

Or you could just say that coffee started making you really bloated and giving you the $hits…that would probably make them stop asking too. Or you heard someone pee’d in the coffee pot…


#11

Thanks for you support ladies! It’s just been one after another and I hit my breaking point this morning.

prinny- I agree. I am always trying to be to tactful with my responses bc I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I tired of it. I’m fighting back!

I’ve been very nice and polite for a long time. I’ve had it.


#12

[QUOTE=iTeach]Missing- The people that ask are the ones who know wer are going through infertilty treatments. That’s what blows my mind.[/QUOTE]

Ahh ok… Well then they are just silly. LOL


#13

Since they know you are going through IF then I would just kindly ask them each one to NOT ask iu anymore and that when you have the good news you will certainly share with them.

They are being insensitive because they do not know how emotionally draining and lainful this process is.

I have a friend who is going through IVF. I do not DARE to ask anything. All I know is she told me she started in May. And because of my experience, I know how annoying the questions are, that’s why I keep my muth shut. I know she will share the details when she is ready.

Best of luck. Sending you baby vibes!!


#14

People are so rude and stupid.

There are two of us at work are doing fertility, and most people know this.
Most people that I know DO NOT know what it’s like to go through fertility treatments.
They don’t really care to learn (not that I want to spend my time explaining it to them) and they REALLY would rather just give you judgements. Which is really screwed up.

I feel angry all the time (probably the meds)
I feel jealous of all those friends who can just get pregnant after one month of trying with no help.

Maybe just explain to them, that you are are not pregnant and you are doing fertility and it will ‘be a while’


#15

I’ve told people a couple of things. Level of rudeness depends on our relationship and how many times I’ve put them off already. Some people ask me constantly–at this point I can’t even be polite about it. As long as it doesn’t contain a curse word, I think I’m being polite about it. It’s no one’s business that we’re doing fertility treatments…particularly because the same folks are so nosy, they would then want to know everything. Why are people so rude!!!

My most frequent responses at this point are:

  1. “When there is something to know, you will know…until then there is nothing to know”

  2. “You need a hobby so you’ll have less time to focus on my uterus.”

  3. “I’m not pregnant, I’m going to learn how to say that in more languages because obviously you don’t understand it in English”

  4. “I’M NOT PREGNANT!!!”


#16

Tell them, “Your husband and I haven’t slept together in awhile so I don’t think so.” LOL


#17

[quote=kdeltasig]I’ve told people a couple of things. Level of rudeness depends on our relationship and how many times I’ve put them off already. Some people ask me constantly–at this point I can’t even be polite about it. As long as it doesn’t contain a curse word, I think I’m being polite about it. It’s no one’s business that we’re doing fertility treatments…particularly because the same folks are so nosy, they would then want to know everything. Why are people so rude!!!

My most frequent responses at this point are:

  1. “When there is something to know, you will know…until then there is nothing to know”

  2. “You need a hobby so you’ll have less time to focus on my uterus.”

  3. “I’m not pregnant, I’m going to learn how to say that in more languages because obviously you don’t understand it in English”

  4. “I’M NOT PREGNANT!!!”[/quote]HAHAH these are great! :clap::clap:


#18

My favorite (and the reason no one asks me):

You know I’m married, right? Do you know it’s to a woman? She has a really low sperm count.

Anyway, we told my sister last night… and she was totally blown away. And went… “wow. How?” To which her husband yells down the hallway “SPERM!”

My response: “With help. Go read my blog… (then sent it to her - this was WHY we’ve been writing it after all!)”


#19

Poenym~ I LIKE her husband! He sounds cool.


#20

[QUOTE=Poenym]My favorite (and the reason no one asks me):

You know I’m married, right? Do you know it’s to a woman? She has a really low sperm count.

Anyway, we told my sister last night… and she was totally blown away. And went… “wow. How?” To which her husband yells down the hallway “SPERM!”

My response: “With help. Go read my blog… (then sent it to her - this was WHY we’ve been writing it after all!)”[/QUOTE]
Aw it must feel so great to start getting it out!! Share your blog if you feel like it :slight_smile: I love reading up on TTC/IF blogs!