All alone


#1

I have a dilemma.
I have always protected myself from the inevitable questions about children by saying that I didn’t want children. It seemed the easiest way to avoid these inquires:
“How long have you tried?”
“What have you tried?”
"Have you tried this?"
I am sure people are just concerned and they are trying to be helpful, but i’d rather avoid it. The problem comes in when dealing with friends from whom I can’t hide my problem. In particular, my best friend of 30 years. I made the COLOSSOL mistake of breaking down to her one day when my sister had gotten pregnant (again). At the time I think she could relate because she also wanted children. Well she got pregnant shortly after this incident, and now that she knows the joys and wonder of motherhood she looks on me with pity. I’m sure she’s also as disappointment as I am because our children were supposed to grow up together and be best friends.(I know that sounds cheesy)
The problem:
She calls me today to say, “you need to get pregnant right now! You need to go have sex right now, and lay in bed for awhile and I promise you’ll get pregnant. This is serious, I don’t think you want it enough! Maybe you need to be hypnotized, because you are mentally blocking it”. I love her very much and I know she loves me, so I know she didn’t mean to hurt me. That did not stop me from being LIVID. I didn’t tell her how angry I was, I only told her that was a hurtful thing to say and that I did not need extra pressure. I also asked her where all this enthusiasm was coming from. It turns out another one of our friends is pregnant and she didn’t want to hurt me by telling me. My friend and her sister had decided that it would hurt me to know.
SO, to follow her logic, instead of hurting me by telling me our friend was pregnant, she decided it would be better to call and RIPE OPEN MY INFERTILITY WOUND! She thought it would be better to embark on a 5 minutes diatribe about how I just don’t want it enough, and perhaps I need to see a psychotherapist.
To conclude: I am pitiable to my friends and they are all discussing my sad situation. They are not doing this in a mean way, but I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me.
I feel sorry enough for myself. I feel like that hen Ms. Prissy on the looney tunes cartoons. Remember the skinny, dowdy hen that wanted a chick and all the other mother hens looked down on her? That’s me.


#2

Essemkay, thank you so much for always replying to my posts. I know that in most of these situations there is not really much anyone can do, but I feel better knowing that somewhere there are others who have been through it and understand. I said this before but congratulations on you :bfp: I am truly happy for you ;D


#3

Hi

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#4

This is to the above poster Dehliteen: You are a sick messed up person to say something like that!!! :af: :af: :af: Get off this forum and go get a real job, you’re obviously no good at the one you have now if you have to come on here to advertise for prostitutes. I’ve reported you - loser!


#5

I’m sorry roonis, that doesn’t happen often. They are just trying to advertise a business and they don’t care who they hurt in the long run. I’ve reported it so the administrators will delete that post and their profile shortly. I’m sorry about your friend also, sometimes people just don’t understand that things like that hurt more than anything. The best thing you can do (which you’ve already done) is to be honest with her about how that kind of advice makes you feel. Hopefully she’ll think a bit more next time. :grouphug:


#6

Thanks Sarah. Its not too big a deal. I think that the moral of this story is that I really should limit the amount of personal info that I put out onto the internet.


#7

Don’t let that stop you from posting on here, the girls are great support and I wouldn’t be where I am now without them. Most of those messages are just automated, they put them anywhere so it’s nothing personal. :flower:


#8

Thank you for reporting it, and for your concern. :grouphug:
Congrats on your beautiful babies :slight_smile:


#9

You’re welcome and thank you! :grouphug:


#10

Good catch Sarah! I have deleted and banned her. Hopefully she will not come back! Thanks for reporting her so quickly.