All I can hear is the doctor saying you have a 1-2% chance


#1

Hello all,

I feel like I have a bad song in my head on replay. It’s not such a catchy tune either. I am 31 years old, my husband is 34 After ttc for 2.5 years we decided to go to a RE at a fertility clinic yesterday. I have tried doing acupuncture in the last two years, moderate not vigorous exercise, a Mediterranean diet and essentially have great health… or so I thought. Apparently vicious cramps are not such a good thing. They found based on previous tests I’ve had done that I have mild endometreosis (sp?) and that our chances of conceiving on our own are 1-2%. All I can hear is the RE’s voice saying 1-2%. I feel crushed and maybe a little sorry for myself which is an unfamiliar and unwelcome feeling.

She gave us the option between IVF and clomid. I think we will try the clomid but oh man…I feel so low right now. I’m looking for support from people who understand. I am so tired of being asked when we will have children and have had unhelpful advice from health care professionals no less- that I need to “just relax.” I never wanted to be on hormones as birth control made me feel completely insane and this is probably that experience to the n’th. So how do you do it? How do you stay positive and avoid this “woe is me” feeling? I may take up running- though I know this is usually not advised when ttc. Anyone have any good inspirational books or mantras? I’m just feeling miserable.

Thank you for responding…


#2

We too have been given a 2% chance on our own. Sadly, clomid was not an option for us, so we are going direct to IVF. It can be very hard to stay positive, but I try to do my best. There are definitely days that it doesn’t work. Thankfully there is a lot of support here on the forums!


#3

I have had two ectopic pregnancies an now have no tubes. It was last July that I lost my 2nd tube, which means a 0% of conceiving on our own. I was sad. Real sad. And mad. I was miserable too. Now, I am in my 4th cycle of IVF. It can become all-consuming. We have been trying now for 4 years. Sometimes I wonder what I am doing to my body with all these injections of hormones. At times have felt like I am going crazy. So much so that after our last BFN, I went to talk to a psychologist. She helped me realize, unfortunately, this is nothing I can control. I am the typical “Type A” personality, I control everything, I set goals, I achieve them. This is out of my control. I have sat with that for a few months and now my new personal mantra is: Be thankful for what I have, not dwell on what I don’t have. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments, I cried yesterday, for 5 minutes, then got up and moved on with my day. I am going to try to get pregnant for as long as I feel that I want to, with as many breaks in between as I want. It’s daunting sometimes, especially when you are unsure if you will ever be able to deliver a healthy baby, but you are stronger than you know. Good Luck!!


#4

Hey Sarby, I too have mild endo. I went through a surgery in Jan-Feb to remove it and they gave me “a good six months” - nothing happened and I’m still trying. I understand feeling low.
Because of the endo, I was taken off of clomid and moved to Letrozol (apparently it’s a better option for us Endo women - maybe ask your doctor about it)
I also hated the pill (made me crazy…but the fertility drugs are not as bad for me…maybe they won’t be too bad for you either)
My mantra (outside of my signature one): “Take a lesson from your dog…no matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh*t and move on”

Now that I think about it, my motto’s deal a lot with sh*t :woohoo:


#5

[QUOTE=kit16;n2597750] I cried yesterday, for 5 minutes, then got up and moved on with my day. [/QUOTE]

There are no emoticon’s when I comment on your post, but if their were, I would send you hugs. I think it takes a very strong women to cry, accept, and move on.


#6

Heartbreaking, I am so sorry…could you have a lap Sarby? To remove the endo? Why only clomid or IVF…no injectables? I wish you the best and hope there is something that works for you…every success story on here is a miracle.


#7

[QUOTE=kika;n2597800]: “Take a lesson from your dog…no matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh*t and move on”

Now that I think about it, my motto’s deal a lot with sh*t :woohoo: [/QUOTE]

ohmygosh that just made me laugh for the first time today. THANK YOU Kika. Thank all of you for responding- it really helps. So my doc was telling me that lap has not statistically shown to help increase chances of fertility. They nixed the injectable and I’m forgetting what it’s called - starts with G- because of high chance of multiple births which freaked out my DH and my RE. Kika- I’ll ask them about the Letrozol- actually I’ll look it up myself and ask about it. I work in health care myself and I was surprised about how much wrong information I had despite thinking I was reading reputable sources.

What does it feel like to take clomid and injectables?

Kit16- I think that’s awesome that you are talking to someone to improve your understanding of what’s going on emotionally and to learn new tools to cope. Crying is healthy to a point, pushing it down doesn’t seem to help. I decided to give myself today and like you- moments here and there but just have to keep on going. I’m also straight up type A. I like to know where I’m going and how to get there. I noticed even in my post I’m trying how to figure out how to control being sad! It’s crazy! I should be sad! This is going to be a challenge. I found a mindfulness course at the fertility center I go to which I think might be helpful. Learning how to be present in the moment rather than getting too far ahead of myself. I tried one of these courses before and it drove me nuts because it is so foreign to my nature but might as well give it the “old college try” one more time.

Thank you guys so much for writing. It is so helpful to have input from people who GET it. :slight_smile:


#8

Sarby - Clomid is just a pill. Simple. You take it days 3-7 or 5-9. I didn’t “feel anything” since it was just a tiny tablet and no side affects but people are different. Injectables - there are a range of names. I was on follistim and both resulted in a singleton pregnancy. As long as the clinic is good, careful, conservative, they should be able to help control how many follicles you have at the time of release. Most people love “more targets” but I know some believe that one egg is of higher quality that having more eggs. I also did’n’t have side effects with these but they are more mentally and physically because you are injecting yourself. Mind you, I never donated blood until my fertility treatments! I hate needles but they are just tiny little subcutaneous things…very easy but just more work than clomid.

WIth your age and you sound to be a healthy person, I just feel really bad that your doctor told you that!!! It makes me mad! What a place to start! I have to tell you that my husband and I are about the same age as you and yours…I do not get a period on my own (have to have a shot to jumpstart), I do not grow eggs on my own, release them without a trigger, and my husband has low morphology…which is why we did IUI. Also, when I had my lap surgery mild endometriosis was found. My doctor said he wouldn’t start me on injectables unless I was at “ground zero”…starting fresh so I guess our doctors wouldn’t agree there. With all my issues and after we had tried for 1.5 years without conceiving normally - the first time I walked into my doctor he said “I WILL get you pregnant.” I remember how upset I was that he was so confident! He had no idea of all that had to happen for it to work! But alas, here we are.

I tell you this for a couple reasons - there are different opinions - different doctors - different styles. But you have to be with someone who believes in YOU and will do anything to help. I hope that is your doctor. The cycle of injectables after my lap worked and I have a 17 month old now. Before that I had two failed clomid cycles. Typically clomid they will not do a lap before because it is a cheap drug and easy. I nursed my son for 13 months and did not grow back my endo so here I am again.

I just hope you can find the same and that you have support personally, but also at your clinic!

Good luck.


#9

Hi Sarby,

I don’t have endo so I can’t really give you advice regarding that but I have done clomid as well as injectibles, gonal-f, which may be what your RE was talking about. I had no side effects from the clomid though I have heard that some women have it pretty rough…but like Rosalynn said, each person is different. My RE also explained the risks of multiples on the gonal-f but I did two cycles with it and ended up with one beautiful little boy who will be 18 months old tomorrow. If your RE monitors you closely and adjusts your meds appropriately I think you will be fine with the injectibles.

You are young and healthy and I’ve seen plenty of endo women go on to have healthy successful pregnancies. I’m sorry your doctor isn’t being more positive. If you don’t feel like they are going to do everything they can to get you your baby, don’t hesitate to seek a second opinion and change doctors if you need to.

BTW, where are you located?

Good luck to you!


#10

Sarby, happy I could make you laugh :slight_smile: I agree with these posts, you need a doctor who believes in you. I have also learned though, that you need to be your own advocate. Do your research and go into your meetings fully armed with information. (I know some doctors hate this, but if you don’t ask, you will never know)
I just started injectables a few months back because my doctor is also very conservative, because she says I’m still young, and she was scared of multiples (I’m 30 in October - I know signatures don’t work)…I finally spoke up for myself and told her that this is what we are doing (injectables), and I don’t want to mess around anymore. I’m not 26 and trying to conceive anymore! Finally we started Gonel F.
I don’t really get side effects, I got a few hot flashes, but those were welcomed as my office feels like an ice box.

Good luck…keep us posted!


#11

I’m located in the Boston area. Thank you guys for the support! I’m glad to hear that the medications they are giving are not causing to many ill effects in all of you. That makes me feel more hopeful about being able to tolerate the whole thing. Today is feeling much better than yesterday. I am going to start doing my research on all the different treatments and questions to ask and have answered. I generally was avoiding all thoughts of this previously and in a bit of denial. However it is what it is. I’m picking through the information now. Thank you ladies! I can’t figure out how you all have lists of your history of TTC after your messages. I’m new to this and apologize if it is intuitive but I can’t figure out how to do that! Any pointers on navigating the site?


#12

Wow Vicky that’s an incredible story! Thanks for sharing.


#13

Just wanted to say I was told the same thing. With both stage 3 endo and premature ovarian failure I was given a 10% chance with IVF and a 1% chance of it happening on our own. Not good words to hear I know. 2 out of 3 of our IVF’s were successful. Then 6 weeks after our last IVF failed we got pregnant naturally for the first time ever. Clomid never worked for us and actually makes endo worse (just a warning). So I would suggest starting with IUI using injectables. Best wishes!
PS: I did very intensive acupuncture for almost a month straight during my last IVF cycle. Natural pregnancy occurred a little over a month after stopping acupuncture. I was doing it daily during IVF.