Am I alone?


#1

This is the first time I’ve ever posted this information online. I am a healthy 28 year old, my husband is also 28. We have been trying to conceive for 2 1/2 years now without any success. We recently started going to a fertility specialist about 6-7 months ago. I checked out fine (did and HSG, blood work, etc) and so did my husband (sperm count, motility, blood work). I have an appointment next week with my doctor to discuss our treatment plan. At this point, we’re still ttc naturally, hoping that the next month will be our month. No success month after month and I’m feeling like I’m going to lose it. I know I’m not the only woman out there with this issue, but I just feel so alone. We haven’t told any family members about our problem or even that we’ve started seeing a specialist. We don’t want to worry anyone or bring our sadness to anyone else. I don’t know what to do, I’m constantly feeling so sad over this and don’t even want to see, hear, or know about anyone else getting pregnant. I just feel so drained, exhausted, depressed over this issue. I think I just need to hear from at least one more person out there that I am not alone. That someone else is going through this also.


#2

:welcome: !!!This is the place to be hunni!!! We all have been through or are going through exactly how you feel. You will find great support, and information from everyone here. It’s a rollar coaster ride that no one wants to be on. Hang in there, you may feel some relief once you know your treatment plan. Keep us posted!!GL!!!


#3

You’re Not Alone!

Sweety, I understand exactly how you feel. I was first diagnosed with unexplained infertility last June (2010). Before that we were trying for just about 2 years. I had all the same tests as you; blood, hsg,sperm analysis, etc. Same thing, nothing wrong. After 3 IUI’s (inseminations), I conceived- ectopically. Lost one tube and moved onto IVF. ONly to find out now I am a poor responder to the meds- which in turn means I have Diminished ovarian reserve. (Lack of eggies) But I refuse to give up. You can’t give up on something you want so bad. You have to stay positive, God has a plan for us all. If you let the stress eat at you, you will only have a harder time conceiving. Right now focus on staying healthy- eat right, exercise, take your vitamins! It will happen for you, for us all! One way or another- we will be someone’s Mommy. :slight_smile:
Don’t get me wrong, there are hard days. Ex: my best friend, both my sister in laws, and everyone I know on facebook are pregnant or celebrating the birth of their babies right now! So I know how that pulls at the heart strings. But nothing we can do, it was just their time. We will get ours, hunni. Keep your head up. You’ve come to the right place, NO one is ever alone here. :grouphug:


#4

:grouphug: I can so relate to what you’re saying! My husband and I also have unexplained infertility. We tried on our own for a year (where I was methodically charting my bbt and doing opks, etc.) I knew exactly when I ovulated and everything was timed perfectly and nothing. So we went to a specialist and did more tests and they haven’t found anything yet. We then did 5 IUIs (3 Clomid and 2 injectable cycles) and all BFNs!! We are now doing IVF. The thing about unexplained is that it is more like undiagnosed infertility rather than that nothing is wrong. There is only so much they can test for, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong. Hopefully, with a treatment plan, you’ll be able to gain some more hope back. Infertility can be a long, hard road, but just remember why you’re going through all of this. One thing I can tell you is that, even though it doesn’t get easier to bear the repeated failed attempts to get pregnant, you become more able to deal with them. You will have bad days and I still do. But I seemed to have more bad days when we first realized we had a problem and first started treatment. Now I realize it’s going to be a process - maybe a long process. Just remember that, someday, you will resolve this situation somehow. You won’t feel this way forever. Good luck on your journey!


#5

You’re not alone!

I used to just have days where I would cry because of my situation but honestly once I started opening up to people about it I felt so much better! You are not alone- there are SO many couples who suffer from infertility! As soon as I started telling my friends and family members and had that support I felt such a sense of relief. I no longer felt like I had this double life of depression!

One other thing- my sister had unexplained infertility and she got pregnant with her very first IUI! One test that she never had done is a “POST COITLE TEST” which is to check to see if the sperm were able to make it through your cervix and if you have proper cerical mucus. it was a $60 test and it was the best money ever spent because the dr. was able to tell after one month that I had hostile cervical mucus. an IUI is an easy fix for that. I’m currently 6 days past ovulation for my first IUI so I’m hoping I have my sisters luck. and good luck to you! def. come here often for support- it helps:)


#6

You are definitely NOT alone!!! My husband and I have been trying for 7 months and so far we’ve found out that his motility and shape are abnormal. I also have low progesterone and I’m scheduled for my HSG on Friday. An ultrasound showed a possible blockage and if it goes the route of losing a tube, I don’t know how we will ever afford IVF. All I do is cry and envy others. I see people’s babies and children on Facebook, people celebrating birthdays and holidays, posting their children’s holiday portraits and I just want to die. It’s awful and heartbreaking, mentallly and physically draining and most of all, unfair. That’s why I came here. As much as I love my DH and as much as he tries to comfort me, it just isn’t working. I have opened up and shared what’s happening with some friends and family but they have absolutely no idea what I’m feeling. They’re supportive and wonderful but they simply don’t get it. The people here get it and whatever you’re going through, there’s someone else who has gone through it before you. There are answers and support and advice here and the ladies are just wonderful. This has been such a comfort to me. So you’re very, very welcome and we’re all here to get each other through this. Keep your head up :flower:


#7

Hi June. Welcome aboard, and no, you’re not alone.

My advice as far as telling family goes (and this is just my opinion), would be to not to mention infertility issues to them. The reason is because they might keep asking about embarrassing stuff over and over again and you’ll have to repeat the same stuff to the same several people, which can be annoying.

You also might get unwanted comments, such as “just relax,” “don’t worry, you’re still young” or “your aunt/sister/grandma had a baby at 40 so you have plenty of time.” I know that’s how my family would react.

If you have to talk to someone, talk to a non-judgemental close friend or two who has a history of being able to keep their mouth shut.