I feel like I need to get away alone. I have so much to deal with, so many emotions I just don’t know how to handle. I’m depressed, and I feel like I’m making things worse for DH. I know this is hard for him, but perhaps if he had chosen a younger woman he wouldn’t be dealing with this. Or if my ex hadn’t, done what he did to me during the divorce, maybe DH might be able to adopt. I feel like I let his whole family down.
For starters,DH doesn’t want a younger woman…he chose YOU and from the looks of your profile picture he is madly in love with you.So it is not fair for you to question that.There are so many young women on this board with fertility issues so who’s to say he wouldn’t have still ended up with one of them. Also,I think you are absolutely overdue for a little alone time.There is nothing wrong about wanting some time to yourself. It may be just what you need so that you can clear your mind and unwind.This TTC journey can be filled with tons of emotions and when it is unsuccessful it will truly test the strength of a marriage. You did not let anyone down!Not yourself,not him,and certainly not family!!!I recommend taken a few weeks off to get you and DH back on track.Go do something fun together.Give the forums a slight break (i know it will be hard),don’t obsess over results,vitamins,future TTC plans,etc.Just pick a weekend or a day and make it all about YOU and DH.Bubble baths,massages,nice dinner,long walk on the beach…if you don’t have a beach nearby consider staying in a nice hotel for 1 night and enjoy their jacuzzi.You must do something to relieve this tension.You have to pull yourself out of the depression before it consumes you.You are going through something most of us have been through,I am wishing you and DH the very best.Just remember,you are not alone :grouphug: