I have read a lot of here. That encouraged me to write my story.
It is so hurt to remember…
We were such a happy couple! 5 years ago I got married. My husband was doing everything what I desired. Any my whim was performed immediately. I felt like being in the paradise!
Once we were on holiday on an exotic island. One day there was unusually cold. I got ill. However there was impossible to take properly treatment. In a couple of days the weather became wonderful. I felt better. There was so marvelous that I forgot about my illness. Unfortunately when I returned I felt worse. I underwent the medical examination. It appeared I had a condition called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Due to not having timely treatment I got tubal obstruction. It was as a bolt from the blue!
Of course I was trying to treat. But in my case I need the surgery. My heart condition does not allow that. A congenital heart disorder doesn’t let me a chance. Now I am not able to have my own baby.
I must admit I was about to make a suicide. Only thanks to incredible efforts of my husband I was able to recover mentally. He was trying the best to returned me to the reality. And now we are seeking the way of having a baby.
Having my own baby is the only way to live for me. Without my baby the life is empty, meaningless.
Hi, dear Lily!
Frankly, your story is really impressive. First of all because of your health issues. You have turned for the medical aid too late. Now such unpleasant totals!
But I am impressed a lot by your husband as well. Not so often a husband takes care of his infertile wife. Believe me, there are a lot of men who don’t care or even gives up his infertile wifes. Your husband deserves respect! I admire him. Someone may say he is doing what he should. Anyway it is good example to follow. I would say he is a genuineman! With such a man you will deal with all of challenges!.
Pull yourself together! And both of you will achieve your goal!
To be honest I am not so impressed. Sometimes we forget that we are humans and need to behave exactly like this man,Lily’s husband. That must just be normally. Although however I wouldn’t deny that it is nice to hear of such kinds of relationship.
Anyway, I would like to focus on the main problem - having a baby.
You know, I also have some health issues. I have diabetes mellitus. I was told I wasn’t able to give birth naturally. Surely, it was bitter to hear of that…But I have seeked and eventually I have found the way of having my own baby by using the surrogacy. Now we are the full family: my baby boy, my husband and me!
I wish the whole of us struggled for the sake of their goals. And I wish you, LIly, had a cute baby!
Thanks for your words.
Actually, I really appreciate my husband. There is fully mutual understanding between us.
I am interested in the point of what you have written about surrogacy. I mean whether my baby will gets legal birth certificate. You know there is impossible it in my country. Besides this woman may have some rights for the baby. All of that is so sophisticated, confusing… I am not sure
Dear Lily, I see what you mean. I felt the same way.
But I have learned a lot of details. You will be the legal parents of the baby born by surrogate mother. Your names will bee written in the baby’s birth certificate. There will be written the contract by that surrogate mother hasn’t any rights to the baby.
You should be worried about nothing. All is included in program. What program you need - that is up to you to choose. However after medical examination you will be recommended what one would be the best exactly for you.
What I have read here remind me the story of my cousin. A couple year ago she left to Ukraine. There she signed a contract for surrogacy. She have the genetic disease that didn’t let her give birth naturally. She was undergone the whole medical examination and her husband did it as well.
She took use of proposed surrogate mother. I remember how she was waiting for the b-HCG test result to confirm pregnancy She was so glad to hear this happy news! She couldn’t help to call me and share such long awaited joy. It was really the joy with tears in eyes. She and her husband were over the moon!
I am sure It was the same clinic in Ukraine I visited. It was my last chance, my last hope.
I remember that exciting moment when we were sitting in front of TV and watching some movie and suddenly there was a call. We are told that attempt of pregnancy was successful. It was so delighted! You, Lily, can truly understand my feelings! Hopefully soon you will feel the same!
I have some steps to deal with it. I know that it is something hard to deal with it. Doctors ask women to avoid IUD or intrauterine device as a contraceptive or birth control measure if they want to avoid PID from taking place. Health experts state that IUD increases risk of getting PID. Instead they ask women to use condom or in some cases birth control pills. Though birth control pills do not offer exact help in STIs still it is said that these pills can help cervix to hold bacteria from entering internal reproductive organs. Health advisors say that by using birth control pills mucus layer in cervix area can get thickened. You can consult your doctor in this issue. If you had an incident of PID, here is a measure to deal with its effect. If you are having difficulty in getting pregnant then talk to your doctor or fertility expert. He or she will organize an infertility evaluation session for you. The expert will carry out tests to check whether PID is causing problem in you to get pregnant or not. Then the doctor will move accordingly. I can tell you that you can get more assistance in Bio tex clinic. They are so good at services concerning fertility that they are running of 2018 economy package. So one has to hurry for booking.
Hello honey! I’m so sorry to hear about your fertility struggles. I know how hard it is for you. I’m sorry you have to go through such thing. My husband and I were TTC for 9 years. I’ve got pregnant but because of my health condition(glomerulonephritis) I couldn’t carry the whole pregnancy and give birth. There is nothing I can do to cure my kidneys to the point when I can carry my baby and have a healthy delivery. During these 9 years there were so many times when I wanted to give up. I even visited specialists who could help me to cope with the situation. Well it helped a bit, but after my loss I was so depressed I wanted to quit trying and live childless life. But I just can’t imagine my life without children. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Long TTC, my disease and infertility change me completely. Now I’m a different person then I was before. To be honest I don’t like a person I became. I used to be very positive, funny. I loved life and I was always trying to find good side in everything. Now I am sad, upset, depressed, stressed and disappointed. I can’t even say I live my life. I exist and wait for miracle to come into my life. I think “when I will have a child everything will change” or "I will be happy when I become mother”. Some people tell “find a distraction” or “enjoy every minute, everything is going like it’s supposed to be” or “don’t concentrate your whole life on infertility and then you will definitely get what you want”. I don’t think it works that way. At least for me it never worked. I should say now I feel a little bit better. The reason of it is that we found option which may help us to become parents. The idea of surrogacy came to our minds not so long ago. I feel much better knowing that there is a chance for us to have a baby. I’m only at the beginning of my journey. Actually it didn’t even start yet. I do my best to find all information we will need in our journey. Did you think about options you can have in your situation? Maybe it’s better to have a consultation with your doctor. He will probably advise you something. You will know if you should continue trying for example ivf with your own eggs or maybe you should try donor eggs. Moreover there are still surrogacy and adoption left. I hope you will find the best option which will suit your situation. I wish you best of luck!
Hello OP! I’m so sorry for your situation. I know this is hard for you now. This is really hard not to give up at this point. My husband and I were TTC for almost 8 years. I had 3 MCs which were really heartbreaking. This was so hard to decide what to do next. I was so crushed I thought to give up and stop. I’m happy we decided to keep going. Though we are using services of surrogate mother I’m so glad we’ll become parents very soon. I wish you all the best, dear! Just don’t give up. Maybe you need small vacation without all these pregnancy stuff. Have some time together with your husband, have some rest without pushing yourself to the next step. And then you’ll continue your way to parenting with fresh mind. Good luck, dear!