Anxious and pessimistic.. anyone else?


Hi ladies,

I did my second IVF transfer on 12/29 and Im anxiously awaiting my beta on Friday 1/6. Its a 5dt. Beta seems early but last time I did 3dt so I know 5dt is diffferent.

I go through periods of being really hopeful, optimistic, emotions in check and other times so convinced this isnt going to work, worried this will never work and crying at the drop of a hat. Everyone keeps telling me to “be positive” and “have faith”…even my husband! I have been positive and hopeful and done acupuncture and yoga and feel like it has gotten me nowhere. I go to baby shower after baby shower and while im happy for others, im resentful it was easy for them and hard for me. Im reading into fact I had no symptoms this time but when i was pregnant last year (m/c at 10weeks) I already had breast tenderness and enlarged breast and this time I dont.

All things considered I think im doing the best i can but wanted to see if other people felt this rollercoaster of hopefulness and pessimism? thanks :slight_smile:


Ugh - the 2ww is torture! I did the same thing you are doing - one minute I knew I was pregnant, and the next I was doubting myself. I didn’t have one symptom during my 2ww - no sore bbs, nothing. Try to hang in there and stay busy. :pray: for good news!


All the emotions are completely normal. I think we all go through the same feelings. The important thing to remember is that each pregnancy is different and that the “symptoms” you were experiencing could have been the progesterone side effects.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage…miscarriage makes going through another IVF cycle that much more stressful because you tend to read into everything. Good luck to you, hope this is the cycle for you!


Your post described me during my 2ww!!! However, even when I am not under the care of an RE I still fret… just not as much as during the 2ww… that is tortoure! It’s sooo hard not knowing if IVF worked… thinking every sign or lack of is a pregnancy symptom! It’s mentally draining!
Sending you lots of :babydust: !!! You have to remain optimistic, while being realistic too. It’s hard to find the balance. It all depends on what side of the coin you are on (so to speak)… I hope it’s the lucky side!!! Good luck!!!


It’s better if you can remain optimistic for your own sanity. But extreme pessimism doesn’t doom a pregnancy destined to be successful. I was sure my last FET with donor embryos didn’t work. I was so sure, I was crying during my blood draw and I refused to waste money on HPTs. Even when I got the good news from the RE, I kept waiting for bad news. Despite all of the negativism, I ended up with an awesome kid! I just wish I could have let myself enjoy the pregnancy.



My friend said we are so pessimistic because it’s our defense mechanism/protection of ourselves. It’s totally natural. I was super pessimistic for my second cycle, told my parents and hubby it didn’t work, planned out my FET and then poof :bfp: :slight_smile: best of luck, feel how you want to feel, there’s no right or wrong emotion.


Thank you ladies. Your feedback always helps me. I appreciate all your thoughts and will keep you posted!