Any difference between Cry-It-Out for 9-10 month olds and younger babies?


#1

[SIZE=3]Hello Ladies,

My son is 9 months and 2 weeks old. Since we still have so many problems with him sleeping through the night, I am afraid we will have to do CIO. A sleep doula tells us that since he is 9 months old, we should not check on him while CIO. She says just leave him in his room and not go in no matter how long he cries. I was wondering if any of you with older babies did CIO and if you went in to check on the baby from time to time. I am just not comfortable to just leave my son crying for hours.
I will appreciate any advice.
Tanya[/SIZE]


#2

In my opinion, CIO is CIO.
But if you are interested in working on helping your child sleep without doing CIO you may want to look for the book “The No Cry Sleep Solution” or look up Dr. Sears. or Jay Gordon. All of them have “programs” for sleep training that do not involve putting your baby in a crib and ignoring their cries.

Also, 9 months is a notorious time for “sleep regression”. I think it is because babies at this age are going through a spurt of advancement and it effects their sleep. Even babies that have previously been sleeping well can go through a time at this age where their sleep is all messed up.

Just check other stuff out and you will find something that fits your wants and needs and parenting style. People who CIO are not the only ones sleeping through the night. It is possible to get peace without that.
And personally I do not worry about fostering independence at this age. A kid that age is not suppose to be independent. If they were they would be able to get themselves food and drink, keep themselves warm, walk and communicate, etc.


#3

My son just turned one and began sleeping through the night at 11 months. I did do CIO during the day when he was 5 months and it was really tough. I would rock him to sleep before that but he began to fight sleeping so I decided to do the CIO. The first time I did it, my heart broke. I had a friend come over so I wouldnt go into his room and let him cry for almost an hour. He did fall asleep and within a few days would fall asleep on his own once put in the crib for his naps. At night I couldnt do it, so I woke up several times with him and would give him a bottle. I thought he might actually be hungry. Once he hit 10-11 months he would just start sleeping through. He would still wake up but I started by leaving him for 15 minutes and if he was still crying go in and comfort him. I wouldnt give him anymore feedings.

CIO isnt for everyone. Others have suggested to reduce the night time feedings by an ounce at a time. This just made my little guy more angry ): Try giving your LO a few minutes before you go into his room, even try 5 minutes at first. Best of luck to whatever you choose, its hard when they dont sleep through the night.


#4

Blaine used to sleep with me in my bed. Now he sleeps in his toddler bed which is next to mine. I tried CIO twice with him. The first time he broke out in hives and the second time I found him in the fetal position terrified.
CIO isn’t for everybody and it can cause more harm with certain children. I would suggest a video monitor if you don’t have one. It is hard to let your child cry…it is even harder to not know why they are crying.
CIO isn’t they only method. Its just one of the quicker methods…if it works. So, don’t feel like you are committed to it. If it doesn’t work or its too much for your son try a different approach.


#5

I’m all for CIO, but I do agree that it’s not for all families. Personally, I don’t believe that it can’t work for all babies, but I do believe that it doesn’t work for all parents.

I think CIO is for when you’ve tried everything else. If you aren’t comfortable with not checking on your child, then try Ferber or other methods like Ferber.

I KNEW my daughter would completely loose it if I went in to check on her but didn’t pick her up. I knew, one night after trying everything else for more than 2 hrs to get her to go down, that CIO was all we had.

She cried for 16 mins the first night and 12 the next. She was 5.5 mos old at the time and she is a champion sleeper now. I can tell when she’s really upset (like she’s sick or scared/had a bad dream, etc) and when she’s playing a game. I always go to her when the crying tells me something is really wrong. It’s rare and it has mostly been that she just needed me for a few minutes, but going to her 10 times in the last year and a half when I can tell something’s bothering her doesn’t interrupt our CIO at all.

I will say that I would expect it to be harder with a 9 month old b/c they are even more aware, but it’s not impossible at all!

Here are my “rules” for success:

  1. You and DH HAVE to be on the same page~Agree ahead of time how long you can stand the crying before you break and don’t go in before that. DH and I agreed to let her go for 20 and see what was happening then.

  2. Know before you start that he is fed, dry (enough), not ill, and the temp in the room is comfortable so that you don’t let those “what if’s” enter your mind during the harder moments. If you know he’s safe and his only problem is that you’re not holding him, then it makes it easier.

  3. You have to believe in what you’re doing! There are all sorts of developmental problems with children who don’t get enough sleep. Your son needs 13-16hrs of sleep per 24hr period. Teaching your child to trust themselves to fall asleep is a gift that keeps on giving! More sleep for them, means more sleep for you! This means you have more to give them during your waking hours!

  4. Once you start, pay very close attention to the crying and especially the parts where the crying breaks, even for a second or 2. When the crying starts to break up and you notice any time of hesitation in the crying, its because your son is listening for you…this is a game and he will do whatever to win :slight_smile:

  5. Your 9month old CAN’T hold a grudge. He won’t hate you in the am. He won’t even remember. Whatever your feeling about this is all on you. You and DH will still be his sun and moon the next day. My 2 yr old can’t even hold a grudge and she’s very smart.

Good luck!!!


#6

[SIZE=3]Thank you all for your replies!
I now have another question. My son is a bad eater during the day and he eats more formula during the night. So he wakes up for a feed twice. Do I just stop feeding him now when we do CIO? Or do I decrease the amount gradually? I am not sure what to do.
Any experience with that?
Thanks![/SIZE]


#7

I would slowly decrease what he is getting at night. If you do CIO and also take away the feedings you might have a really hard fight on your hands. A hungry baby is really persistent.
Does your son take really good naps? I wonder if you could just try to gradually take away the night time bottles and he will naturally adjust to sleeping more soundly at night and be more awake during the day.
This might work if you think his schedule is a bit backwards.
Blaine would never settle down if he was hungry. He is still that way and we try to make sure he gets plenty throughout the day.
Are you giving any solid foods yet? Maybe some cereal at bedtime might help him feel full through the night. We gave Blaine his dinner around 5 and then cereal and fruit about 8:30 for awhile. It helped him quite a bit.


#8

Technically, he doesn’t require food overnight at this point. My very, unexpert opinion (:)), is that he knows he doesn’t have to eat much doing the day b/c he will be fed overnight. I think the taper back idea is a good one, but don’t drag it out. Stick with the 2 feedings, but cut down on the amount of formula per feeding. Maybe even cut it down faster for one feeding than the other. Within 3-4 nights, cut out one bottle all together and offer water instead for that feeding. See how that goes. Don’t be surprised if he’s ticked off and you find yourself doing CIO for that feeding session. Cut the other one down and either CIO for the last one or offer water again. As my nurse told me when we had to do this, they figure out quickly that water isn’t worth the trouble of waking.

Definitely try to fill him up prior to bedtime with solids and formula.

Too bad there isn’t the perfect recipe for how all this works :slight_smile:

Whatever you do, I wouldn’t drag the whole process out more than a week.


#9

[SIZE=3]Yes, he is on solids but is a very bad eater. He eats only yogurt and fruits. He hardly eats veggies and meats. Sometimes he eats pasta. That’s it. There are times when he refuses to eat solids at all. Our son has no interest in food. I am going to talk to his pediatrician.
I will try to eliminate night feedings in 3 or 4 nights. Hopefully the amount of the formula that he drinks during the day will increase. Otherwise, I am in trouble.
Tanya[/SIZE]


#10

I don’t know if it will help but, Blaine went to a sippy cup about 9 months because he wouldn’t drink much from the bottle at each feeding. I think he just got bored of sucking it out for so long. With the sippy he was able to get it down fast and go play which is what he really wanted to do.
Blaine was also a fruit eater…still is. Bananas are a great filler for a bedtime snack and so is applesauce.


#11

I had the same problem with DD. She was waking up 2 or three times at night…once at midnight, then 3 or 4 then 6am. She is also a bad eater. We started by mixing water in her 4 am bottle…so the first night was about 20% water, next night 40% water and so on…then we gave her a bottle filled with water. She started eating more during the day…then we did this with the early morning bottle… and now we are down to her waking up at night at midnight and we just give her a bottle of water…she doesn’t take a pacifier so she uses her bottle for that purpose. Now she is becoming a much better eater since she isn’t depending on milk for her calories.

Hope this helps.

[quote=Tatanka][SIZE=3]Yes, he is on solids but is a very bad eater. He eats only yogurt and fruits. He hardly eats veggies and meats. Sometimes he eats pasta. That’s it. There are times when he refuses to eat solids at all. Our son has no interest in food. I am going to talk to his pediatrician.
I will try to eliminate night feedings in 3 or 4 nights. Hopefully the amount of the formula that he drinks during the day will increase. Otherwise, I am in trouble.
Tanya[/SIZE][/quote]