I’m all for CIO, but I do agree that it’s not for all families. Personally, I don’t believe that it can’t work for all babies, but I do believe that it doesn’t work for all parents.
I think CIO is for when you’ve tried everything else. If you aren’t comfortable with not checking on your child, then try Ferber or other methods like Ferber.
I KNEW my daughter would completely loose it if I went in to check on her but didn’t pick her up. I knew, one night after trying everything else for more than 2 hrs to get her to go down, that CIO was all we had.
She cried for 16 mins the first night and 12 the next. She was 5.5 mos old at the time and she is a champion sleeper now. I can tell when she’s really upset (like she’s sick or scared/had a bad dream, etc) and when she’s playing a game. I always go to her when the crying tells me something is really wrong. It’s rare and it has mostly been that she just needed me for a few minutes, but going to her 10 times in the last year and a half when I can tell something’s bothering her doesn’t interrupt our CIO at all.
I will say that I would expect it to be harder with a 9 month old b/c they are even more aware, but it’s not impossible at all!
Here are my “rules” for success:
You and DH HAVE to be on the same page~Agree ahead of time how long you can stand the crying before you break and don’t go in before that. DH and I agreed to let her go for 20 and see what was happening then.
Know before you start that he is fed, dry (enough), not ill, and the temp in the room is comfortable so that you don’t let those “what if’s” enter your mind during the harder moments. If you know he’s safe and his only problem is that you’re not holding him, then it makes it easier.
You have to believe in what you’re doing! There are all sorts of developmental problems with children who don’t get enough sleep. Your son needs 13-16hrs of sleep per 24hr period. Teaching your child to trust themselves to fall asleep is a gift that keeps on giving! More sleep for them, means more sleep for you! This means you have more to give them during your waking hours!
Once you start, pay very close attention to the crying and especially the parts where the crying breaks, even for a second or 2. When the crying starts to break up and you notice any time of hesitation in the crying, its because your son is listening for you…this is a game and he will do whatever to win
Your 9month old CAN’T hold a grudge. He won’t hate you in the am. He won’t even remember. Whatever your feeling about this is all on you. You and DH will still be his sun and moon the next day. My 2 yr old can’t even hold a grudge and she’s very smart.