I don’t know about you guys, but I refuse to read or listen to another word about how near impossible it is for women over 40 to conceive. It was really bringing me down. I’m giving up ART and beginning on another route in trying supplements.
When my DH and I got together we immediately began trying for a baby. I was 39 and he 41. We each had children from previous relationships so we knew it was theoretically possible for each of us. We only tried naturally for 4 months and then as soon as I turned 40 I went to an RE. I was told I would “need help” to get pregnant. I made an appointment to make a fertility plan, but before my appt I conceived naturally. I didn’t even bother contacting my RE since we had only had a couple of tests. I thought I would just use my regualr obgyn even though the last time I had been pregnant was age 29. That was a mistake, as my obgyn gave me zero specialized care considering my age, and I did MC. BAsically she set me up for a 10 week appointment like I was any pregnant 20 yr old. I started bleeding a couple weeks before appt, went to the ER and all looked good baby even had a strong heart beat. Still I did not feel right. She kept telling me if I was going to MC there was ‘nothign anybody could do’ and to come in for my appointment in two weeks. at that appointment we found out I had MC. Before my D&C I called my RE and asked him to please give me another US just so I could always be sure I really MC. Kind of irrational I know, but he understood my emotions and confirmed MC. At that appointment he basically made me feel like if I had gone to him from the beginning of the pregnancy I would have had a different outcome. He said I should use this as ‘a learning experience’ and ‘next time’ use them since they are specialized in high risk pregnancy etc. Wow. At the same time, my obgyn is basically telling me eh, it most likely had Downs or Trisomony at my age. Wow again.
After I recovered from the MC I went through a lot of emotions and panicked thinking about wanting to conceive again NOW. I went straight to RE who noticed a slightly elevated FSH (around 10) and DH low sperm everything, we immeidately began ART. We did 2 IUIs and 1 fresh IVF and 1 frozen IVF. All failed. Even though I had conceived naturally just months before, I was told there was essentially zero chance to conceive without ‘help’ (how does this even make sense!) so I dove totally into ART for the next 1 1/2 yrs.The last IVF was January 2013 and then I decided I was done with ART.
At this point it’s been two years since I conceived naturally and MC. A big part of me feels like ART got in the way. My DH said the other day he thinks we would ahve been able to conceive again on our own. I think we are both struggling with wasting time on the ART and who can blame us? We were able to get it done with zero help but yet thousands of dollars, precious time, and the top of the line ART yielded nothing.
I realize this is emotions talking and I realize others benefit from ART. It’s not my intention to discourage anyone from ART. But, it’s where my heart now is. And, I feel more clear and hopeful than I have in a while.
I feel like for women such as myself even though we are over 40 and everythign appears ‘normal’ on paper we are pushed straight into aggressive ART and most doctors do not want to treat around your already natural, functioning cycle. I even asked during the 2nd IUI and the 2nd IVF could we maybe consider an IVF on a natural cycle. No I was told. Well now I hear it can be done. It’s okay, whatever, but why aren’t doctors willingto work with a women’s natural cycle who’s basically looking really good in all her tests but is just over 40?
So I’m starting a more natural treatment plan based on assuming my cycles are essentially healthy, but due to age I probably have low quality eggs.
FSH: tested about a year ago thru dr, it was 12.8. Continued to test using home tests and it appeared elevated but not off the charts elevated.
Progesterone: tested with dr in April. It was 15 and I was told that was good and indicated I had ovulated that month.
Everything else with me is pretty normal.
Many natural fertility supplements such as Fertility Blend attempt to improve a cycle, but I don’t want to mess with a normal cycle. In trying to improve egg quality without messing up my normal cycles, I’m beginning Ubiquinol (CQ10) and Inositol and all the Omegas (3,5,6,7,9) today. I will also continue with the Royal Jelly I began a couple fo months ago, and of course the prenatal vitamins.
I think DH however would be safe starting something like Fertility Blend for men, although from what I’m reading the CQ10 may be important for him as well.