Anybody else sick of hearing how "impossible" it is for women our age to conceive?


#1

I don’t know about you guys, but I refuse to read or listen to another word about how near impossible it is for women over 40 to conceive. It was really bringing me down. I’m giving up ART and beginning on another route in trying supplements.

When my DH and I got together we immediately began trying for a baby. I was 39 and he 41. We each had children from previous relationships so we knew it was theoretically possible for each of us. We only tried naturally for 4 months and then as soon as I turned 40 I went to an RE. I was told I would “need help” to get pregnant. I made an appointment to make a fertility plan, but before my appt I conceived naturally. I didn’t even bother contacting my RE since we had only had a couple of tests. I thought I would just use my regualr obgyn even though the last time I had been pregnant was age 29. That was a mistake, as my obgyn gave me zero specialized care considering my age, and I did MC. BAsically she set me up for a 10 week appointment like I was any pregnant 20 yr old. I started bleeding a couple weeks before appt, went to the ER and all looked good baby even had a strong heart beat. Still I did not feel right. She kept telling me if I was going to MC there was ‘nothign anybody could do’ and to come in for my appointment in two weeks. at that appointment we found out I had MC. Before my D&C I called my RE and asked him to please give me another US just so I could always be sure I really MC. Kind of irrational I know, but he understood my emotions and confirmed MC. At that appointment he basically made me feel like if I had gone to him from the beginning of the pregnancy I would have had a different outcome. He said I should use this as ‘a learning experience’ and ‘next time’ use them since they are specialized in high risk pregnancy etc. Wow. At the same time, my obgyn is basically telling me eh, it most likely had Downs or Trisomony at my age. Wow again.

After I recovered from the MC I went through a lot of emotions and panicked thinking about wanting to conceive again NOW. I went straight to RE who noticed a slightly elevated FSH (around 10) and DH low sperm everything, we immeidately began ART. We did 2 IUIs and 1 fresh IVF and 1 frozen IVF. All failed. Even though I had conceived naturally just months before, I was told there was essentially zero chance to conceive without ‘help’ :confused: (how does this even make sense!) so I dove totally into ART for the next 1 1/2 yrs.The last IVF was January 2013 and then I decided I was done with ART.

At this point it’s been two years since I conceived naturally and MC. A big part of me feels like ART got in the way. My DH said the other day he thinks we would ahve been able to conceive again on our own. I think we are both struggling with wasting time on the ART and who can blame us? We were able to get it done with zero help but yet thousands of dollars, precious time, and the top of the line ART yielded nothing.

I realize this is emotions talking and I realize others benefit from ART. It’s not my intention to discourage anyone from ART. But, it’s where my heart now is. And, I feel more clear and hopeful than I have in a while.

I feel like for women such as myself even though we are over 40 and everythign appears ‘normal’ on paper we are pushed straight into aggressive ART and most doctors do not want to treat around your already natural, functioning cycle. I even asked during the 2nd IUI and the 2nd IVF could we maybe consider an IVF on a natural cycle. No I was told. Well now I hear it can be done. It’s okay, whatever, but why aren’t doctors willingto work with a women’s natural cycle who’s basically looking really good in all her tests but is just over 40?
So I’m starting a more natural treatment plan based on assuming my cycles are essentially healthy, but due to age I probably have low quality eggs.

FSH: tested about a year ago thru dr, it was 12.8. Continued to test using home tests and it appeared elevated but not off the charts elevated.

Progesterone: tested with dr in April. It was 15 and I was told that was good and indicated I had ovulated that month.

Everything else with me is pretty normal.

Many natural fertility supplements such as Fertility Blend attempt to improve a cycle, but I don’t want to mess with a normal cycle. In trying to improve egg quality without messing up my normal cycles, I’m beginning Ubiquinol (CQ10) and Inositol and all the Omegas (3,5,6,7,9) today. I will also continue with the Royal Jelly I began a couple fo months ago, and of course the prenatal vitamins.

I think DH however would be safe starting something like Fertility Blend for men, although from what I’m reading the CQ10 may be important for him as well.


#2

Thank goodnesss nobody ever told me it was impossible, not at 42, not even now at 45. I think you need a different set of medical advisors!

That said, it is much harder to get pregnant with a viable pregnancy at this age. The odds of any given egg being chromosomally perfect are so very low - it’s rather disheartening. But they’re out there! You just have to find the right egg, and that can take time, when time isn’t on your side. So I feel like ART is a good idea, super ovulation means more targets and more chances to find that golden egg. For this pregnancy, we had planned to do 12 IUIs and then throw in the towel (but I gave up on the IUIs after 2 and convinced my husband to try 2 IVFs instead – worked out to be about the same price).

Also, as My11:11wish pointed out, your FSH is pretty high. Have you had your AMH tested? Had AFCs done? My RE says that you should only go by your highest tested level, but I have seen people post on these boards that they have significantly lowered their FSH and raised their AMH by taking certain supplements and/or using acupuncture.

Best of luck to you!!


#3

Thanks for the input ladies. It kind of makes me feel better to tell myself the baby was abnormal. I suppose that is the most likely reason it happened. I just wish my obgyn would have given me a little more attention after my hospital visit.

I guess my issue is that I can’t afford any more aggressive ART, and DH is pretty much adamantly against it. So I guess I’m just trying to shoot down ART in my own mind, ha ha. If we had unlimited resources and dh was totally on board, I’d probably continue. Although it was really getting to be alot for me to go through.

At this point, I think I should find an RE mostly to use for being informed of my FSH, AMH, progesterone etc levels. And then try and seek the best improvements for those with supplements. I can afford some bloodwork and some supplements.


#4

Oh and also, I have forgotten what my AMH was.

I think I need to find a new RE, get all new testing and go from there to see if I can improve myself with supplements etc.

I’m old! But the good things I have going for me are:

I look and feel younger than 42. I’m a good weight and healthy.

I have periods like clockwork with good heavy flow.

I have [I]awesome [/I]cervical mucus.

We have alot of sex :smiley:

My progesterone recently was good and indicated I’m still ovulating. (at least that cycle)

I was able to get pregnant naturally within the past two years.

I was able to get at least two mature follicles during my IUIs and was able to get 11 eggs, 6 which fertilized, 3 of which were very good, during my IVF last year.

Just trying to see the bright side!


#5

Have you read this? Interesting info on how the stats for women’s age and chance of pregnancy were calculated. It gave me hope.

How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby? - Jean Twenge - The Atlantic


#6

Ladies- do not read the statistics and do not give up hope.


#7

[QUOTE=Magdalena]Oh and also, I have forgotten what my AMH was.

I think I need to find a new RE, get all new testing and go from there to see if I can improve myself with supplements etc.

I’m old! But the good things I have going for me are:

I look and feel younger than 42. I’m a good weight and healthy.

I have periods like clockwork with good heavy flow.

I have [I]awesome [/I]cervical mucus.

We have alot of sex :smiley:

My progesterone recently was good and indicated I’m still ovulating. (at least that cycle)

I was able to get pregnant naturally within the past two years.

I was able to get at least two mature follicles during my IUIs and was able to get 11 eggs, 6 which fertilized, 3 of which were very good, during my IVF last year.

Just trying to see the bright side![/QUOTE]

You should JUST LIKE ME. I’m 44 years YOUNG, and can relate to the vast majority of your post. Statistics are just that: NUMBERS. Don’t get stuck in numbers. If I did that, I wouldn’t be where I am today: pregnant. I knew my odds, but my DB and I felt that we deserved to give this our all, and after only two IUI procedures, we got our :bfp: I started this journey to conceive earlier this year with relatively normal levels of most labs, and have been ovulating on my own. My AMH was absolutely dismal at 0.16, but I am convinced that DHEA supplementation made all the difference for us.

Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) supplementation in diminished ovarian reserve (DOR)

Nobody truly knows your body better than you, so don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Sometimes when you throw all caution to the wind and let the fertility chips fall where they may, you end up with an awesome surprise.

While not all of women over 40 conceive and maintain healthy pregnancies, it’s not impossible!! We may be older, but we’re not out of the game, either. :slight_smile:

Good luck to you!


#8

[QUOTE=notNOTpregnant]Have you read this? Interesting info on how the stats for women’s age and chance of pregnancy were calculated. It gave me hope.

How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby? - Jean Twenge - The Atlantic[/QUOTE]

FANTASTIC article. Thanks for sharing!


#9

natural supplements

Hello Magdalena;
I conceived naturally and had my last son when I was 40yrs old. I then have been trying art eversince, I am 45 now. I am going to do DE ivf as I have had too many iui’s and failed ivf’s as I care to. Just one thing about your supplements, I actually had very good egg retrieval for my last own egg ivf when I was 43, I was taking dhea, l-arginine, bee pollen, vitex (chasteberry), and dong quai, as well as what you are taking now. fyi :pray: :pray: :pray: for you!

[quote=Magdalena]I don’t know about you guys, but I refuse to read or listen to another word about how near impossible it is for women over 40 to conceive. It was really bringing me down. I’m giving up ART and beginning on another route in trying supplements.

When my DH and I got together we immediately began trying for a baby. I was 39 and he 41. We each had children from previous relationships so we knew it was theoretically possible for each of us. We only tried naturally for 4 months and then as soon as I turned 40 I went to an RE. I was told I would “need help” to get pregnant. I made an appointment to make a fertility plan, but before my appt I conceived naturally. I didn’t even bother contacting my RE since we had only had a couple of tests. I thought I would just use my regualr obgyn even though the last time I had been pregnant was age 29. That was a mistake, as my obgyn gave me zero specialized care considering my age, and I did MC. BAsically she set me up for a 10 week appointment like I was any pregnant 20 yr old. I started bleeding a couple weeks before appt, went to the ER and all looked good baby even had a strong heart beat. Still I did not feel right. She kept telling me if I was going to MC there was ‘nothign anybody could do’ and to come in for my appointment in two weeks. at that appointment we found out I had MC. Before my D&C I called my RE and asked him to please give me another US just so I could always be sure I really MC. Kind of irrational I know, but he understood my emotions and confirmed MC. At that appointment he basically made me feel like if I had gone to him from the beginning of the pregnancy I would have had a different outcome. He said I should use this as ‘a learning experience’ and ‘next time’ use them since they are specialized in high risk pregnancy etc. Wow. At the same time, my obgyn is basically telling me eh, it most likely had Downs or Trisomony at my age. Wow again.

After I recovered from the MC I went through a lot of emotions and panicked thinking about wanting to conceive again NOW. I went straight to RE who noticed a slightly elevated FSH (around 10) and DH low sperm everything, we immeidately began ART. We did 2 IUIs and 1 fresh IVF and 1 frozen IVF. All failed. Even though I had conceived naturally just months before, I was told there was essentially zero chance to conceive without ‘help’ :confused: (how does this even make sense!) so I dove totally into ART for the next 1 1/2 yrs.The last IVF was January 2013 and then I decided I was done with ART.

At this point it’s been two years since I conceived naturally and MC. A big part of me feels like ART got in the way. My DH said the other day he thinks we would ahve been able to conceive again on our own. I think we are both struggling with wasting time on the ART and who can blame us? We were able to get it done with zero help but yet thousands of dollars, precious time, and the top of the line ART yielded nothing.

I realize this is emotions talking and I realize others benefit from ART. It’s not my intention to discourage anyone from ART. But, it’s where my heart now is. And, I feel more clear and hopeful than I have in a while.

I feel like for women such as myself even though we are over 40 and everythign appears ‘normal’ on paper we are pushed straight into aggressive ART and most doctors do not want to treat around your already natural, functioning cycle. I even asked during the 2nd IUI and the 2nd IVF could we maybe consider an IVF on a natural cycle. No I was told. Well now I hear it can be done. It’s okay, whatever, but why aren’t doctors willingto work with a women’s natural cycle who’s basically looking really good in all her tests but is just over 40?
So I’m starting a more natural treatment plan based on assuming my cycles are essentially healthy, but due to age I probably have low quality eggs.

FSH: tested about a year ago thru dr, it was 12.8. Continued to test using home tests and it appeared elevated but not off the charts elevated.

Progesterone: tested with dr in April. It was 15 and I was told that was good and indicated I had ovulated that month.

Everything else with me is pretty normal.

Many natural fertility supplements such as Fertility Blend attempt to improve a cycle, but I don’t want to mess with a normal cycle. In trying to improve egg quality without messing up my normal cycles, I’m beginning Ubiquinol (CQ10) and Inositol and all the Omegas (3,5,6,7,9) today. I will also continue with the Royal Jelly I began a couple fo months ago, and of course the prenatal vitamins.

I think DH however would be safe starting something like Fertility Blend for men, although from what I’m reading the CQ10 may be important for him as well.[/quote]