Anyone feeling crazy like this?


Hi all! This is my first post on here. Have thought for a long time how should I start, probably not ranting, but that turned out to be a bit DIFFICULT! So am just writing about some of the recent events. On Wed I’m having my 7 week scan. Which I am crazy nervous about. The last scan I had back in Jun showed I had lost our little bean. It was just 8 days before had a strong beating heart! So I am PETRIFIED for what We brings…I hate what ivf does to all of you! Striping the joy out of these moments. I feel lucky to be technically pregnant but am so so scared for Wed. This is our last chance to give our 7yo son a little brother or sister. Furthermore it’s been a long long road with 4 rounds of ivf, multiple failures. and then more recently a missed miscarriage. On the plus side this embryo has been PGS tested. It has made it this far!! My hcg has been strong and rising well. I had a recent test 5 days ago due to some spotting so I know the indicators are there. But I truly can’t shake the feeling that it’s all going to be ripped away from me on Wed. I’ve had three bouts of spotting which caused me to panic! Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels crazy like this. I would love to hear from anyone who can remember what they were feeling in the days up to the early scan (symptoms etc) and the outcome. It might give me something to distract me for a bit or not…but I do believe it won’t make worse anyway. TIA