Arrival Shower Stress


#1

Hi Ladies,

In desperate need of advice. I’m going nuts. DH and I opted not to do a baby shower. We’re not doing one for a couple of reasons. We live very far from all our family and friends…they’re all out state. The only people here are DH’s colleagues. So we felt that it’s probably better to skip the whole baby shower. Plus, it’s not likely that our friends and family travel the distance for the baby shower. So we did decided to do an arrival shower or a meet & sip kind of thing. That way, if anyone that does make the trip, at least gets to meet the baby too.

My sister is due in Jan and had her baby shower back in Nov. And she’s been pushing me to also have a baby shower. She’s actually upset with me that I am not doing a baby shower.

A few of my friends who recently gave birth insists on the baby shower especially for the first born. They said registering for the baby really helped them out. The one thing they strongly insisted was that I should still put up a registry right now. That way, friends who want to get something for the baby when you announce the arrival of the baby, can go on the registry. And by the time the arrival shower comes along, the registry is still up for anyone who is attending or not attending, but want to give the baby something. If there’s no registry, people will just randomly shop for your baby and I’ll end up with a bunch of baby clothes that won’t the baby or a bunch of baby blankets and such, which will not be useful. I wasn’t going to register originally because I wasn’t doing a baby shower. Plus, I’d have most of the essentials by the time the baby is here. So what would I even register for if I’m doing an arrival shower!?! But after hearing them say this, I’m torn. I don’t want to be tacky.

This is all becoming all so stressful and overwhelming. I’m still learning the ropes of being pregnant! I’ve just begun to research strollers, cribs, mattresses, and car seats! There’s just so much to prepare and learn. And now, the whole shower thing.

Any advice ladies? It would really help me out. Should I still put up a registry? I’m definitely having a party after the baby comes. If I put up a registry, what should I even register for?

Help!

– Lilacs


#2

Congratulations!

Ah, I know all about the shower/registry stress, but for me it was for our wedding. All my friends and relatives were going to have to fly to CO from PA to attend the wedding, and so I really didn’t want to have a shower - I felt like I was asking them for something more than the effort and expense of attending the wedding. But, having not had one ( I lived in IN at the time) I can say that I think my family is probably still pretty disappointed, because they really wanted to be able to do that for themselves even more than fo me. However, I don’t regret it for ME - I think it was the right decision. So if you really feel that a shower is not something you’d like, just stick to your guns. They’ll understand!

As far as registering, people will buy you stuff no matter what. They LOVE to buy for babies. Heck, I hate shopping but I love to buy for babies. So if you don’t want a bunch of things that you may really not want, go ahead and register. It’ll help you organize what you need to get too! I find it helpful when people put on things with a range of prices. We have a very fertile office with about 25-30 people and if there is something big we might chip in to get that more expensive item. But if anyone’s on a budget or wants to kind of give you a grab bag of stuff, it’s good to have lots of little things. I can pretty much guarantee people will send you stuff before or just when the baby is born rather than or in additoin to waiting fo the arrival party. So I’d suggest including not just newborn things, but board books, teething toys, utensils (bibs, plates, sippy cups, etc) for solid foods as well.

Oh, and one other thing - you don’t have to announce that you’ve registered if it makes you feel awkward. Just wait and see if anyone asks you (and they will!) and let them know then.

Have fun!

Heather


#3

[B]Lol lilac…I’m like in all your topics…I know the shower stress…me and mom plan this big shower…I tried the register thing but I gave up with like 5 items in the list…lol. But the shower was very stressful and kept me up at night because I wanted to be perfect, with a club, catering, big cake, balloons, entertainer, games, gifts, etc etc etc. I started to have lots of pressure and low cramping by that time. But I will never take it back! I enjoyed every minute of it. But I received alot of diapers and wipes…which was very very useful…emma is 3 months in and I’m still using the diapers they gave me…by all means I had 3 different baby shower lol. I receive dr. Browns bottle which I asked for but I do t like to use it now because of all the time it takes to clean all the parts and it gets this black slimy mucus which I have to scrub and brush off all the time… I use avent bottles and gerber. Much easier. Bibs I find it good to have alot of bibs they get stinky fast with milk… Stroller or jogger I got a jogger but pick the best you like…it’s like buying a new car :wink: I got baby trend Windsor jogger in purple black and gray for em.
Diaper bag very fashionable I got the kalencom one in pink zebra stripes .
Wipes you will need alot.
People in my family gave me alot of big baby clothes but I enevr receive any newborn for the hospital and the few weeks after birth so I had to buy for myself.
For the car seat if you own two cars buy an extra base for the other car.
Blankets I use blankets.
Emma is not a fan of shoes so I brought socks that has a design of a shoe…it works!
A changing table one that has wheels so it’s easier to move, I put everything on it…
A jungle gym she started using it now
A bouncer it soothes her…one that vibrates and has dangling objects…
Newborns won’t like any plush animals at that time…Emma started getting interested like at 2 months and a half.
Lots of bodysuits they would get peed and pooped on… I think tats about it
Diaper cream…[/B]


#4

You should definately setup a registry! It gives those out of town a way of feeling like they’re a part of the process. A nice perk also is that its easy to return anything that you received too much of. And your a brand new Mommy, this is something you’ll enjoy! So go grab a nice lunch or cup of hot chocolate with your hubby and afterwards enjoy some fun in the baby store.

Congratulations! You lucky lady, you! :slight_smile:


#5

[QUOTE=Diorbeauty_pr][B]Lol lilac…I’m like in all your topics…I know the shower stress…me and mom plan this big shower…I tried the register thing but I gave up with like 5 items in the list…lol. But the shower was very stressful and kept me up at night because I wanted to be perfect, with a club, catering, big cake, balloons, entertainer, games, gifts, etc etc etc. I started to have lots of pressure and low cramping by that time. But I will never take it back! I enjoyed every minute of it. But I received alot of diapers and wipes…which was very very useful…emma is 3 months in and I’m still using the diapers they gave me…by all means I had 3 different baby shower lol. I receive dr. Browns bottle which I asked for but I do t like to use it now because of all the time it takes to clean all the parts and it gets this black slimy mucus which I have to scrub and brush off all the time… I use avent bottles and gerber. Much easier. Bibs I find it good to have alot of bibs they get stinky fast with milk… Stroller or jogger I got a jogger but pick the best you like…it’s like buying a new car :wink: I got baby trend Windsor jogger in purple black and gray for em.
Diaper bag very fashionable I got the kalencom one in pink zebra stripes .
Wipes you will need alot.
People in my family gave me alot of big baby clothes but I enevr receive any newborn for the hospital and the few weeks after birth so I had to buy for myself.
For the car seat if you own two cars buy an extra base for the other car.
Blankets I use blankets.
Emma is not a fan of shoes so I brought socks that has a design of a shoe…it works!
A changing table one that has wheels so it’s easier to move, I put everything on it…
A jungle gym she started using it now
A bouncer it soothes her…one that vibrates and has dangling objects…
Newborns won’t like any plush animals at that time…Emma started getting interested like at 2 months and a half.
Lots of bodysuits they would get peed and pooped on… I think tats about it
Diaper cream…[/B][/QUOTE]

You’re so sweet for chiming in, in all my topics and questions! I love to hear all responses!

And thanks for the list!! I am copying it down. I absolutely have no clue so this is great to get me started!

Big Hugs!

By the way, Emma is such a sweet and cute name!


#6

[QUOTE=Wishes4Baby]You should definately setup a registry! It gives those out of town a way of feeling like they’re a part of the process. A nice perk also is that its easy to return anything that you received too much of. And your a brand new Mommy, this is something you’ll enjoy! So go grab a nice lunch or cup of hot chocolate with your hubby and afterwards enjoy some fun in the baby store.

Congratulations! You lucky lady, you! :)[/QUOTE]

Thanks! You’re so sweet!

Hot chocolate sounds divine right now! It’s like 45 degrees here in the evenings.

I have my fingers crossed for you! Big Hugs!


#7

[QUOTE=HopefulinCO]Congratulations!

Ah, I know all about the shower/registry stress, but for me it was for our wedding. All my friends and relatives were going to have to fly to CO from PA to attend the wedding, and so I really didn’t want to have a shower - I felt like I was asking them for something more than the effort and expense of attending the wedding. But, having not had one ( I lived in IN at the time) I can say that I think my family is probably still pretty disappointed, because they really wanted to be able to do that for themselves even more than fo me. However, I don’t regret it for ME - I think it was the right decision. So if you really feel that a shower is not something you’d like, just stick to your guns. They’ll understand!

As far as registering, people will buy you stuff no matter what. They LOVE to buy for babies. Heck, I hate shopping but I love to buy for babies. So if you don’t want a bunch of things that you may really not want, go ahead and register. It’ll help you organize what you need to get too! I find it helpful when people put on things with a range of prices. We have a very fertile office with about 25-30 people and if there is something big we might chip in to get that more expensive item. But if anyone’s on a budget or wants to kind of give you a grab bag of stuff, it’s good to have lots of little things. I can pretty much guarantee people will send you stuff before or just when the baby is born rather than or in additoin to waiting fo the arrival party. So I’d suggest including not just newborn things, but board books, teething toys, utensils (bibs, plates, sippy cups, etc) for solid foods as well.

Oh, and one other thing - you don’t have to announce that you’ve registered if it makes you feel awkward. Just wait and see if anyone asks you (and they will!) and let them know then.

Have fun!

Heather[/QUOTE]

Thanks Heather!

I’m making a list today and copying down everything you and Diorbeauty_pr have suggested.

Do you have any board books that you particularly like or recommend?

Big Hugs!


#8

Oh, my daughter LOVES books, so I have a huge list…

  • Goodnight Moon - a MUST
  • Runaway Bunny
  • Big Red Barn
  • Guess How Much I Love You
  • any Touch and Feel type book
  • any of the Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You Hear? series
  • any books that have pictures of baby faces - there’s a series with books titled things like Smile, PeekaBoo, Eat that’s really cute

That’s probably a good start. Have fun!

Heather


#9

[QUOTE=HopefulinCO]Oh, my daughter LOVES books, so I have a huge list…

  • Goodnight Moon - a MUST
  • Runaway Bunny
  • Big Red Barn
  • Guess How Much I Love You
  • any Touch and Feel type book
  • any of the Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You Hear? series
  • any books that have pictures of baby faces - there’s a series with books titled things like Smile, PeekaBoo, Eat that’s really cute

That’s probably a good start. Have fun!

Heather[/QUOTE]

Thanks!! That’s a great list to start me off!

Big Hugs!