Hello ladies. I’m confused and you are my only hope, I know something I can’t share with anybody but you. I’m 36 and I’m married for 10 years. I thought my marriage, my family is perfect but it became clear that I can’t have a baby (it’s a long story). My hubby tried as he might to support me and offered to find a surrogate mother, well I agreed, I like this option more than adoption cause I want to have a baby of our flesh and blood. So we found a clinic abroad and signed for it. We don’t need to pay all money at once as there are 5 installments, each after a new stage of our journey. Well, we made few payments and now just waiting coz our surromother is pregnant. It all goes well, I’m happy…I was.
During the last few weeks I noticed that my hubby was at work till night, he was at home too late and very tired, had a bad mood and I started to worry. One day he was sick and someone was calling him up all day long and when he was in the bath I took his phone and a woman cried my husband’s name asking not to leave her because she is waiting for a baby. I can’t describe my feelings; everything I believed in, everything I loved was stolen. I was blaming myself that I can’t give him a baby, I was scared he could leave me and here we are. I didn’t answer that woman and didn’t tell my dh anything about that call. I’m devastated…we were going to have a baby. The problem is that we can’t tell our dr ‘hey, we’ve changed our mind, we don’t need that baby’, moreover I can’t tell him I know the truth. To be honest, I want that kid so much, even if he/she is his. I don’t know what to do, what if he will say he doesn’t want our kid or even worse. I’m in despair