Yolyvette - OMG - the SAME thing happened to me with red lint from my underwear!!! See I already love this thread!! When I was on the October IVF thread, I would post things about how I was feeling anxious with each upcoming beta or ultrasound because I was afraid of my #'s not being good or afraid of not seeing a sac, or no heartbeat, and no one would really acknowledge those comments. Most of the ladies on that board were first timers, and I don’t think they knew what to say or just couldn’t relate because they didn’t know where I was coming from. I still post on there every once in a while, but I never really felt like I connected with most of those ladies. I was the first to get pregnant on that board, yet ladies that are 2-3 weeks behind me were making tickers, buying maternity clothes, etc, and I just wanted to shake them and be like, “DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT COULD STILL HAPPEN??? DON’T YOU GET IT???” That’s when I started feeling like a downer, and stopped posting as much. If I can’t be me and say what I want to say there’s no point in me posting. I will not blow sunshine up people’s butts. I hope to God that they never experience what we have gone through. But in the long run, I know that we are stronger people for surviving and moving forward.
Lovinmybabies - I am so, so sorry for your losses. You have really been run through the mill. I will give you hugs too!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: . I also did the Xanax and Lexapro since my first loss. I stopped the Xanax a while back, but I am still weaning off the Lexapro. I am down to 1/2 a tablet every other day. I do feel my anxiety level creeping back up, but I am trying to do breathing excercises to help me through it. I really don’t want to be taking anything if this pregnancy continues the way it has…but if this baby is born, I hope the pharmacy has a full stock of Lexapro and Xanax on hand, because I WILL be needing it!
casak - I am very sorry for your losses as well. Congrats on your current pregnancy. 25 weeks is a huge milestone!! :flower: PTSD is the perfect analogy to what we have experienced. Pregnancy loss is horrible for any woman, but when you have IF and have to have treatments just to GET pregnant in the first place it’s even worse…I was literally shell shocked after my first loss…all I could think of is, “Where did my baby go??”…I would just stare off into space thinking that over and over…eventually I started having panic attacks that culminated in me being curled up in a ball in bed for 4 days convinced that I was going to die. My DH had to take me to the emergency room where a doctor finally had the good sense to give me Xanax, as the Lexapro didn’t kick in right away…Here I am 2.5 years later, further along than I have ever made it before, yet I will NEVER forget that time of my life, or how low I was at that point.
We have a long winding road ahead of us, but we will all make it through together. Have a great evening everyone!!