Book Suggestions - Positive Thinking


#1

Hello Ladies,

I have just started my FET cycle after the tragic loss of our little boy in June due to pre-term labour. I am trying to be very positive about this cycle, especially since my last fresh IVF cycle did work. However, I am having a very hard time thinking positively. Mostly I have been having a very hard time not worrying.

When I was in therapy after Sebastian’s death, I was terribly worried about returning to work. My therapist gave me these words of support that really helped, “Worry is trying to take control of something you can’t contorl.” So I am trying to apply that same thinking to my FET cycle. But I am finding it very difficult.

Has anyone read any good books or listened to any speakers who have some good advice on how to not worry and how to think positive? I am looking for actionable advice that I can put into practice, not “The Secret” type stuff that really only says “If you build it, they will come.” (Field of Dreams anyone?)

Mostly I am just looking to boost my spirits a bit so that I can have a comfy place for my defrosted eggies to get settled in and grow. :cross:

Any and all suggestions welcome.


#2

lilrabbit,

You should be very positive about this cycle. You have been pregnant and you have nine frozen embies. They were from the same batch with your precious Sebastian. The qualities of those embies are very good otherwise they won’t freeze them. 9 embies can make three FET cycles. I really think you can have your family complete without doing another fresh cycle. Keep positive. I can’t wait to hear your good news in a month of two.

The book really helped me is Bible. After my miscarriage, I read Job, Samuel, and Psalm.

Cheers.

[quote=lilrabbit]Hello Ladies,

I have just started my FET cycle after the tragic loss of our little boy in June due to pre-term labour. I am trying to be very positive about this cycle, especially since my last fresh IVF cycle did work. However, I am having a very hard time thinking positively. Mostly I have been having a very hard time not worrying.

When I was in therapy after Sebastian’s death, I was terribly worried about returning to work. My therapist gave me these words of support that really helped, “Worry is trying to take control of something you can’t contorl.” So I am trying to apply that same thinking to my FET cycle. But I am finding it very difficult.

Has anyone read any good books or listened to any speakers who have some good advice on how to not worry and how to think positive? I am looking for actionable advice that I can put into practice, not “The Secret” type stuff that really only says “If you build it, they will come.” (Field of Dreams anyone?)

Mostly I am just looking to boost my spirits a bit so that I can have a comfy place for my defrosted eggies to get settled in and grow. :cross:

Any and all suggestions welcome.[/quote]


#3

I know this isn’t exactly what you were asking for, but I’ve been reading Fully Fertile: A 12 Week Plan for Optimal Fertility and it has been extremely helpful with helping me sort out the emotional side of dealing with fertility issues. There is a big emphasis on stress management and letting go of the constant worrying.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through that, but I’ve found this book helpful in helping me juggle the fertility struggle and everyday life.


#4

Thanks for the recommendations, I will look into them.


#5

I have found reading Pema Chodron’s book ‘When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times’ to be incredibly helpful and comforting. Her advice is somewhat along the lines of what your therapist said about worrying and trying to control the uncontrollable, but it’s very accessible and has made a huge difference for me.

Best wishes!


#6

One that I have found to be very helpful is “Hope for Parents Who Have Lost Children” by Geoffrey Jowett. It really helped me deal with the grief and move forward knowing that my daughter is in a better place.