Can I just catch a break please


Hello Ladies:

I have been on this board for forever it seems. Seems like at every turn something has stalled our progress. First it was me not ovulating. Then it was me not ovulating on the OI meds. Then it was the Docs office not doing a very good job and be scared to stim me any harder. SO after 1 1/2 yrs. I switch to an RE and then my DH gets deployed.

Typing this post almost cracks me up because it is so ridiculous what we have been through and the only other option is to cry which I am not fond of. Out of all my cycles over the past 2 yrs. I only feel like we got one potential shot to actually try and that was when I finally got one mature follicle and triggered. One–one lousy shot in 2yrs. I seriously believe that we would be pregnant or have our baby by now if we were just given more than one try in all this time.

Okay so now my DH is coming home for R&R in perfect timing to my cycle. All we need is to stim appropriately and then do an IUI, but my RE wants my DH to do an antisperm antibodies test first. While I understand the need for the test so that he can maybe be treated for it while he goes back to being deployed and thus be ready to TTC when he returns in the spring I cannot help, but be disappointed and honestly a little miffed that he wants to wait and see what the SA shows.

My DH has already had an SA just not one with the antisperm antibodies checked. His SA was good except his motility and morphology weren’t very good (strict) which indicates an antisperm antibodies issue which isn’t surprising since 70% of reversal men have it. BUT what difference does any of this make if we do an IUI?

Okay so my question is–what should I do here?

Is the test really that important for this one cycle?
I have spent the last four cycles preparing for this one and now we might miss the chance not because DH won’t be here, but because the RE wants to wait on the results of this test. I just don’t get it. What difference does it make?

Can’t we just do the IUI to bypass this problem altogether anyway?


With a military husband who is deployed and will be home for a short time, have you considered maybe freezing his sperm? As a couple that had to use donor sperm, I’m thinking if he could give a few samples while he is home and have them frozen into vials then possibly you can still try while he is away IF that is something the two of you are willing to do (have you try while he is away). I have no idea how much it would cost to freeze his vials but it is an option.


Our RE assumed that our issue was antisperm antibodies so we did IUI. I guess if I were you I would let him do the test but I would push to do an IUI also. There’s no reason why you can’t do both. Remember your doctor works for you. If you feel like he’s not listening then you need to find someone else. Good luck hon!!:grouphug:


Thank you so much for responding Gambler. I appreciate your thoughts on this. We actually had considered this prior to him leaving, but was not able to get everything set up before he was gone. Now we are so close to him being home for good that it is almost not even worth the headache to try to set up freezing it during the very short time frame he is home and since he will not be deployed for too much longer (along w/cost issues).

Although he is only home for a short time it works out perfectly to do a stimmed cycle so I just didn’t understand why we would need to miss this cycle to wait on test results that really aren’t important to the potential success of this cycle given the fact that it can be circumvented by simply adding an IUI.

I did put in a call to my RE this morning (since they were closed to all without emergencies) to find out about stimming with an IUI this cycle simultaneously with the Antisperm Antibodies test. SO we shall see. :cross:


This is exactly what I was wondering (if an IUI was an option for those with a antisperm antibodies issues). I just figured why bother sitting this cycle out waiting to find out when all we would need to do is add an IUI for this cycle until we knew for sure and could treat him with whatever treatment they are wanting. I am assuming they would want to treat him with steroids because otherwise what would be the point in waiting on the results, but idk. Maybe he would just recommend adding IUI anyway and if that is the case I just don’t see why we really need to know this cycle.

Anyway, ultimately you are correct about them working for us and I know that, but it helps to hear it from others and have that encouragement. Especially when you are feeling like the stumbling blocks never end.

Thank you so much for your support! :flower: