Cancer of the uterus - need your help!


#1

My husband and I have been always dreaming about children. But unfortunately I was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. The uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries were removed. At first I was crying a lot, I had a depression and I was even attending a psychologist. My husband supported me and cheered me up as much as he could. I felt so guilty, I knew how much he wants to have kids and I let him down. I was afraid he’ll leave me. And I actually thought he have to do so and find another woman, who has no problems with fertility. But my husband gave me so much love and support and we decided not to give up. We choose surrogacy as the best way out for us. But we are from France and this procedure here is illegal. We’ve been thinking about clinics in USA first, but their prices are huge! Speaking about India, we’ve heard and read some negative reviews about their clinics. That’s why we are looking for clinics in Europe. What should we consider? Any tips?


#2

[SIZE=4]I know how it feels. It’s very nice you didn’t give up, despite the fact that it’s hard not to in such situation. I also had uterus cancer. One night I woke up because of sharp pain in abdomen and found out that I was bleeding. I underwent surgery and all reproductive organs were removed. It was a big shock for me and I almost gave up. My husband wanted a son so much and I knew I couldn’t fulfill his wish. I began to look for solutions, clinics, doctors. I wanted to do everything to save my marriage and my will to live. After a long search, conversations with friends, reading of articles and reviews, we decided to focus on surrogacy. In our country it’s legal, but very expensive and we couldn’t afford it. So we began to look for clinics in other countries. We wanted to find the best doctors and, at the same time, affordable price. It turned out that this procedure is legal in Ukraine and there are a lot of clinics. Now we have a wonderful healthy boy, my husband and I are very happy and grateful. I would advise you to be careful! There are so much fake agencies, who want just to take all your money and leave you with nothing. Pay attention to positive reviews, talk with friends, maybe they know someone who had an experience in this sphere. Also don’t forget to check official websites and contact clinics directly! Ask them questions, look through their services and prices. Google them and learn each review. Then weigh all pros and cons and choose the right one for you! Wish you luck)[/SIZE]


#3

Thank you so much for comforting words and for all advices. I will consider all these tips. We’ve been thinking about Russian clinic and we’ve already contacted one, but they give no guarantees that surrogate mother won’t take our baby from us. I will never understand this weird law. Does Ukraine has this law too? What is the name of clinic you visited? How much did you pay? How long did it take for them to find surrogate mother for you? Hope for your help!


#4

You’re right, this law is really strange! And Ukraine doesn’t have it. So nobody will take your child away from you) I had surrogacy in BioTexCom. It situated in Kiev. They have packages for services, so you can choose the one, which is right for you. All prices you can see on their site. Personally we paid 39 900 euro for standard package. They also have Economy package for 29 900 euro and 49 900 euro for VIP package. We think to use VIP next time. We are planning to go for surrogacy again in autumn. The clinic found SM for us in 2 months. We actually thought it will take longer. So it was real surprise!


#5

Thank you very much for such helpful information! It’s great news, that Ukraine doesn’t have this law. Such a relief! I’ve heard and read a lot about this clinic. Ukraine is becoming popular in surrogacy issue. The clinic found surrogate mother for you really fast! I wish you luck with your second visit. Why do you want to use VIP package? What is the difference between VIP and standard?


#6

Thank you Rita! My husband and I compared standard and VIP and it seemed to us VIP is more convenient. Needed blood tests are performed by the coming nurse domiciliary. We won’t have to stay in lines and wait. Last time we were exhausted, because there were a lot of people and we were waiting with hungry stomachs for a couple of hours(because you should eat nothing before blood tests). Also the clinic provides all stuff for new born baby. Last time we carried all things with us. And there were so many suitcases and bags, so it will be more comfortable to have it already in Ukraine. Also parents are provided with the 24/7 phone consultation of a leading English-speaking pediatrician. If needed the leading pediatrician visits the baby upon request. We were so nervous and we didn’t know what to do. Our son was crying and we didn’t want to hurt him and do something wrong. So this service is very important in such situation! Also there is such service in VIP package as babysitter from 9 AM till 6 PM. In standard package, babysitter comes for only 4 hours/day. We needed to do all arrangements with documents, payments, tickets and so on, so 4 hours was not enough for us. And also the clinic finds surrogate mother, who has already had a positive surrogacy experience. All these services made us to choose VIP package this time.


#7

Thanks for clarifying all this! Sounds very good for such price! These services consider not only surrogacy procedure, but also comfort of a child and parents. Such services are especially important for ‘first time’ parents. By the way, did you pay the whole sum of money for procedure at once? I’m not sure we will be able to pay all amount at one day. And generally I’m little afraid to give all sum right away.


#8

I understand you. I also didn’t have all sum at once. And also I didn’t want to give all money during the first visit, because there are so many fake agencies and you never know what will happen tomorrow. But in BioTexCom the payment is divided into 5 rates. We paid 8000 euros during the first visit. Then we paid 7900 euros during our second visit. Third payment 8000 euros was paid on twelve weeks of the gestation of the surrogate mother. 8000 euros we paid after the birth of the child. And the last 5th payment 8000 euros we paid after receiving of the child’s birth certificate and passport for a child to leave the country.


#9

That’s very good!Thanks Dee, you’ve calmed me down. My husband and I work hard to save money for surrogacy. I understand, that this procedure is only the beginning. Child will need even more spendings. And we are ready to work even more to give our child everything needed. But it is easier to pay in parts. In such way it will be easier to calculate costs. Dee, what about surrogate mother? Did you choose her by yourself? Does the clinic provide information about condition of a surrogate mother and a child?


#10

Clients cannot choose a surrogate mother, because her appearance is not important here. Only her health and ability to bear a child matter. That’s why the doctor choose SM. But don’t worry, the clinic select SM very carefully. The clinic provided us with all info about SM and our son at least once per month. So we were completely informed! It is hard to be far away from your child and the clinic did everything for us to be sure that our child is safe.


#11

I can’t imagine how it feels, when your child is so far away… How did you cope with this feelings and nervousness? I would give everything to be able to carry my baby by myself… But we should be grateful, that at least we can use surrogacy program. We will have to wait only nine months and then we’ll be happy parents for the whole life! But where does surrogate mother live? Does she live in the clinic or maybe there is a chance to take her to reside with us?


#12

I won’t say it was easy. I’ve been thinking about my baby all the time. I was nervous very much! Stupid thoughts never left my mind. I was thinking what if something bad happened, what if there was an accident and so on. Probably I felt myself mother for the first time at that period and when your child is far away, then of course you worry and afraid for his safety. Even considering the fact that he’s not born yet. But the clinic provided us with all details about our son’s condition very often. Furthermore we were coming at ultrasound checks. And you are right, nine months is nothing if to compare with the whole life with you precious baby! As for our SM’s place of living during the program, she lived with her family. All of surrogate mothers have their own kids and it would be cruel to take them away from their families. I think it is better for them to live in familiar environment. In such way they feel themselves comfortable and don’t worry about their loved ones. The fewer their worries are, the better for our child.


#13

Yes, I see the point. You’re absolutely right, I didn’t think about that… It’s wrong to take mother away from her children. And for a baby it will be healthier to remain in full comfort. By the way, did the doctor check your baby after delivery? We all know newborn babies need to be check carefully. They are tiny little cuties with weak immunity and they should be under vigilant medical supervision))


#14

I am of the same opinion! The pediatrician was visiting us every day until we went home. The doctor was not only good professional, but also very kind and communicative lady! She gave us a lot of helpful and useful advices for child care. Also she answered all our questions, what and how to do. We were newbies in parenting so we had a big bag full of questions! Our doctor patiently listened to all our concerns, calmed us down and gave detailed instructions!


#15

Sounds very good! It’s nice when doctor has understanding and empathy. I think I will have even more then hundred questions)))
Did the clinic provide you with housing during your next visits? Or is it only one-off service? Were there any problems with documents for your child? What is the right way to prepare them? What should we consider to make everything 100% legal? I have so much fear, that we won’t be able to take our baby with us!


#16

It’s better to write down all questions. I was so nervous and excited, so I became puzzled and everything fell out from my head!)))) We were provided with accommodation and food supply during all our visits. We were also provided with assistance in the Ukrainian civil registry office to obtain the child’s birth certificate. And of course they helped us in getting a travel pass for our son. So there were no troubles and no questions in the airport! By the way, the clinic provided us with a taxi, which carried us in the airport. In a word, we are fully satisfied with all services and results)


#17

Such a relief! I was nervous we won’t be able to make all documents’ work correctly. We don’t know how all this system is established in Ukraine. One mistake and everything will go wrong. I don’t want to face problems in the beginning of parenting. Nobody wants! You’ve calmed me down! It’s great news that clinic provides all this help. Thank you so much for your support! I will consider all information and each advice you gave me! Today we’ll have decisive talk with my husband and take our final decision!


#18

You’re welcome Rita!I’m glad I could help)If you have more questions, please feel free to ask. I’m always ready to help. Have you already made your decision? I wish you good luck and positive results! I’ll wait for your impressions after first visit to clinic you’ve chosen))


#19

Hello Dee! We’ve been talking and thinking all these time. We couldn’t even sleep and we talked at night! After discussion of all pros and cons we decided to choose biotexcom! All those positive reviews give us hope and confidence in this clinic. Also their services and price match our requests and abilities completely. We’ve already contacted their manager. So now we are waiting for the reply to start packing and buying tickets! As soon as we comeback from the clinic I’ll share all details. Thanks again Dee, you helped a lot!


#20

Hello Dee! We are back from Ukraine! We came home on Saturday morning. As I’ve promised I’ll tell how was our visit) I’m full of positive emotions! First of all I should say that we’ve signed a contract with the clinic! Now I’ll tell you everything in order from the very beginning. We arrived in Kiev on Wednesday afternoon. We were met in the airport by taxi driver. I was so nervous I could barely walk) I was worried that no one will meet us and we won’t be able to find the clinic. But everything was fine) Taxi transported us to the clinic. You’ve said that there were many people during your first visit. But I didn’t expect to see such crowd!There were a lot of people from all over the world! I couldn’t even imagine that there will be so many couples. I even talked with a couple of women) There were long lines, but time flew by fast. I asked hundreds of questions both our manager and our doctor. Communication was fantastic. I felt like they had my best interests at heart. The service there is really good! All doctors are very attentive. They explained us everything and answered all our questions. We made all needed tests. We’ve been standing in lines for a couple of hours, but I don’t consider this as a minus. This only shows the professionalism of the clinic. We’ve chosen VIP package. We did the first payment after signing the contract. Also the clinic provided us with smartphones and Ukrainian SIM cards for communication. Then we went to the apartment. I must say it was very modern and fashionable. The apt was very comfortable, with all facilities we needed. Everything was same as you’ve told me! We’ve also visited some places in Kiev, it’s very beautiful city. The clinic will assign our second visit, when they will find the right surrogate mother for us. I’m both nervous and excited! I hope it won’t take too long. I want surrogacy process to begin already)