Convince Spouse of FET for 2nd Child


#1

[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]Kindly note that this is about having a second child through FET. By posting here, I don’t intend to be insensitive to people who are trying to have a first child. I am just trying to get some advice and support …[/FONT][/FONT]
[U][FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]Now my actual question:[/FONT][/FONT][/U]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]I had 2 IVFs and 1 FET in the past and that resulted in my DS (who just turned 1). [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]As you all know and have also experienced… it was an emotionally hard journey - more for my husband. Also since he travels for work all week and as I could not do my progesterone shots by myself we had our parents take turns and live with us to help us out with the shots. That added to my husband’s stress level further. [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]My husband does not want a second child and the stress etc. adds to his being against us having a second child through IVF / FET… [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]I have been an only child and always wanted a sibling and dreamt that I would have two children… we do have 2 embies frozen from our last IVF cycle and would like to try FET for our second child soon (I also just turned 35)…[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]I wanted to vent here a bit and also wanted to know if any one has any advice….I love my son and he makes me a complete mother but I would also like him to have a sibling if he can…[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]Kindly note that this is about having a second child through FET. By posting here, I don’t intend to be insensitive to people who are trying to have a first child. I am just trying to get some advice and support …[/FONT][/FONT]
[U][FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]Now my actual question:[/FONT][/FONT][/U]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]I had 2 IVFs and 1 FET in the past and that resulted in my DS (who just turned 1). [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]As you all know and have also experienced… it was an emotionally hard journey - more for my husband. Also since he travels for work all week and as I could not do my progesterone shots by myself we had our parents take turns and live with us to help us out with the shots. That added to my husband’s stress level further. [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]My husband does not want a second child and the stress etc. adds to his being against us having a second child through IVF / FET… [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]I have been an only child and always wanted a sibling and dreamt that I would have two children… we do have 2 embies frozen from our last IVF cycle and would like to try FET for our second child soon (I also just turned 35)…[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica][FONT=Helvetica]I wanted to vent here a bit and also wanted to know if any one has any advice….I love my son and he makes me a complete mother but I would also like him to have a sibling if he can… Thank you much! MonicaM[/FONT][/FONT]


#2

Monica. I don’t have any kids yet so I can’t really give advice from experience but I didn’t want to read and run. I would say you need to first go about this by trying to eliminate some of the things that caused you hubby the most stress from before. It sounds like a big part is you not being able to do your shots yourself and having parents stay. Is there a reason you can’t do them? I have done all of my shots myself as my husband does not like needles and doesn’t want to hurt me. If you can do your own shots and are doing FET which equals less visits then it shouldn’t be too stressful. I would say the biggest thing is to be able to deal with the stress of disappointment if it doesn’t work. Good luck. I hope you can get him to agree. Either way congratulations on your little boy that you have.


#3

Don’t push him now. Your embryos are not going anywhere. Let your husband get used to your son esp now when the cute age is coming. In the meantime, get empty injections for progesterone and practice on yourself. Might sound crazy, but it will help you in your situation. You would see how easy it is. I injected myself more than 500 times-piece of cake.


#4

Definitely dont push him right now. Let him get used to the idea once your son is more mobile and able to talk. Kids can get fun and frustrating right around 2. I am 35 so I do understand the need to move quickly. I also waited until my son was almost 2 before trying again. I just wasnt ready yet. But if your dream is to have two children you really do need to discuss it with him because he needs to fully understand how disappointed you would be if you didnt give your son a sibling. Try explaining that someday you and him will both be gone and your child will be all alone in life.