I don’t know what happened today but I had a bit of a breakdown. I’m ovulating, which earlier this year would have been an exciting time. Now it just makes me mad. I was asked for the 10billionth time yesterday why I don’t have any kids and without even thinking I snapped “because my husband doesn’t have any sperm, thanks for asking.” Ugh. I’m a nurse and my patients are always trying to make small talk and ask things like that. Thankfully I made that remark to a co-worker and not to a patient!
I’m just so tired of waiting. We’re planning to start IVF in January or February. Have had fleeting thoughts of postponing so I can attend my best-friends wedding, but it just makes me mad to even think about postponing anymore. Ugh!
And I’m trying to find a new job but am trying to take into consideration the flexibility I’ll need to drive an hour (each way) 3 times a week during the IVF process. How many sacrifices do I have to make? It just gets so frustrating to see how easy baby-making is for most people and how many sacrifices and heart-aches DH and I (and the rest of us here) have to go through.
Thanks for reading my rambling. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will cure this!