I am 44, single, and currently in 2ww. Early last year I decided to really work on becoming a mom before it was “too late”, but my boyfriend said he definitely didn’t want any children. Of course, I was incredibly sad, but determined, now knowing it would have to be with donor sperm.
So, I began reading, told my ob-gyn and he referred me to a RE. Immediately, he explained the procedures and probabilities; then, he made and US and found fibroids that required surgery. In minutes, everything changed from UIU to ivf.
I also had a AMH test done. Needless to say, my AMH was low (4% chance of success with my own eggs, which confirmed the ivf with DE). Once again, I was devasteded: no genetic link to me nor to my boyfriend!! But I decided to go on with it.
With my story, there was no doubt there would be questions. Even if everyone tought it was my egg, I would have to explain the “he is not the father” part. With that and everything I’ve read, I was sure that, in my case, being open about it was the way to go.
Eventhough I am sure I will eventualy tell eveyone, and expect to receive all kinds of questions, so far, I haven’t told anyone but a very few friends (no family). I will only tell them when this works (this is my 4th attempt). Plus, I live in Mexico, where it is even more uncommon to know about anyone doing ivf, let alone donor sperm or donor eggs.
In my experience, not telling has been really hard. I certainly do not want this for the rest of my life (even if it were possible). I am sure there will be unwelcomed comments, but I fugure that’s their problem, not mine, and I will do my best to not make them my child’s.
Of course, everyone is different and every case is singular. One thing is for sure, if you desire so bad to be a parent, you will be one, regardless of others!!
I just wish the best for all of us trying.:babydust: