Dealing with everyone around while getting pregnant


#1

Please can someone help. how do you deal with everyone around you getting pregnant, mostly unplanned, while you have been tcc for 5 years. i cant seem to even look at them and then feel bad if i dont ask how they are feeling and how the pregnancy is going. This in turn leads to a long one sided discussion about the pregnancy which leaves me feeling even worse.

I am new to the page but would really appreciate some advise as it all just seems to be getting the best of me


#2

I VERY much understand where you are coming from. My husband’s family is huge and celebrates " family birthdays" once a month. So once a month I have to put a smile on my face and hear and see nothing but babies because no one else has a problem. We started ttc over two years ago and since then there have been 4 babies born and two more on the way, that’s just immediate family. Needless to say I spend the car ride and rest of the evening in tears asking God what I have done wrong.

I know we must stay positive but when it comes down to it, it down right sucks, hurts, is annoying, emotional and painful and nothing other then a beautiful baby of our own is going to change that.

There is hope, finding new friend you can vent to that actually know how u feel and won’t judge you when you say " why yes, I wanted to slap her in the face for telling me it will happen when God thinks your ready" Tell that to the meth head at the store with 5 dirty, under Fed kids.

Wow, ok I’m done. done but really my email is always open for new understanding friends:-)


#3

I understand what u are going through completely. Me and my husband have been trying to have a baby for almost four years. By the grace of only God we got our first positive pregnancy test last Thursday. We still have a ways to go but please know that hope and my faith kept me same through this miserable journey called infertility. This website helped me a TON! I needed people I could relate to. If u ever need encouraging words to keep u going just post a new thread on here and I promise others will respond with the words of encouragement u need to hear! Never ever lose ur hope!!!


#4

I understand how you feel, i used to feel that way. But i told myself i can’t let someone else’s happiness bring me down. I just have to deal with it. I will one day get my take home baby. We’ve been trying for 11 years for a baby with a few losses in the mix. I woke up one day and said to myself get over this feeling. Its doing nothing but bringing you down. But im not the normal LOL alot of girls can’t do that.

:grouphug: Goodluck!!


#5

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that, I feel the same way when people tell me their news – it’s just so easy for so many people and it’s really hard to deal with that. This forum is really helping me cope with it - because everyone here knows what it’s like to NOT have things be easy. I hope your friends can understand and be compassionate about the fact that it’s not easy for you to talk about their pregnancies-- they love you and I think they’d understand. Anyway, sending lots of hope your way that it’s YOU getting to share your good news some day soon.


#6

I completely understand what you are feeling, my best friend gave birth to her baby last night, lots of pregnancies and births have come and gone while I have been ttc but this one struck particularly close to home, i can’t wait to meet her little man but i know i’m gonna be a big crying mess when i do. I found it helpful to share what was going on with some close friends, have you told some of the people you are close to? it feels nice to have someone you can call or see and just moan and cry to, good luck to you x


#7

Yep totally understand !!!

3rd year of ttc and so many friends and family have conceived. I loathe the question-when is it your turn. Don’t you want babies. Sometimes you have to tell them the truth just to shut them up and then they try to make you feel better like " At least when you are fifty they body will look younger due to not having any kids!!!" Seriously ???

My sister has be studying anther degree and she is almost finished and has started to ttc due to my difficulties. I told her I don’t know how I will feel if you are able to conceive without problems. Probably jealous, angry and depress!!!

Conclusion totally understand infertility sucks!!!


#8

Just hard

I am totally in the same boat. It’s nice to come hear and read that you are all going through the same things. As we were starting our infertility treatment, we told a few close friends and family about it so that they could know and support us. When we told DH’s brother and his wife (about 4 months into our process) they were very excited for us and supportive. We found out a little later that this announcement prompted them to start ttc themselves. They hoped we could have babies at the same time. (Nice thought, but we needed a head start! Ours is likely a long process…) Well it is now 2 short months later, and they are pregnant. They’re sweet and we’re close to them, but it’s really hard. They don’t get that it’s so hard for us. We want to be excited and supportive. Just tough. We want to maintain a good relationship with them and everything. Any thoughts?

Thanks for reading and understanding.


#9

Just want a baby of my own

So I completely understand how hard it is to be around people who have babies, especially family. I also know what it’s like to have people ask “when are y’all going to have a baby?” It does get frustrating. I’m actually close friends with a couple who has a baby. They had a hard time getting pregnant. I’m so happy for them. My younger brother and his wife just had twins. They got married and were pregnant month or two later. We have been trying for three years. It’s been tough bc my parents were always talking about the babies. Luckily babies and mom are healthy. Ill go see them as soon as I have a couple days off. It’ll be tough though. This ttc journey has been emotional. Hoping to go see endocrinologist soon and maybe get some answers and hopefully end up pregnant. Oh and in February I found out my left tube is blocked. Doc said I could still get pregnant with one good tube. It hasn’t happened though. Very frustrating. I’m here if ever anyone needs to talk. It’s comforting to read others’ thoughts and feelings and know I’m not alone.


#10

Greengables,

Just continue to be supportive of them. I know how hard it is. I know several friends and family that are pregnant right now. Some that are close to me I have learned to just be excited and supportive of them. Some that aren’t even in a position to be having a baby, I just have to distance myself from. My MIL was the worst for the longest time!! Always talking about babies and at Christmas saying that she thinks everyone should have babies when they’re young because the teen years are so hard and you don’t want to be old when you have to do that. Well, I was the only person in the room who’s “old” that doesn’t have any children yet! DH let her have one night after a few drinks and she’s been better, lol. Keep your chin up and just keep asking God for strength and peace! :pray: and wishing :babydust: on anyone dealing with infertility!!


#11

I understand how you feel. I come home crying every time someone tells me they are pregnant and hate when people tell me that it must not be the right time. It’s very frustrating, especially when I keep hearing stories about 15 yr olds getting pregnant. Keep your head up and let yourself mourn your hardship. And know we’re all hear for you and can understand your heart ache.


#12

I understand where everyone is coming from on this. My husband and I have been trying almost 3 years now. His cousin’s wife got pregnant twice in the time that we have been trying and even came up with her new little slogan that she thinks is sooooo cute “2 under 2”. Give me a break blech!

Luckily, my MIL understands infertility. She went through this 35 years ago but managed to have 2 kids using Clomid and one naturally when she was 43 and not expecting to get pregnant. When I need some pickmeup, I normally call her and chat about it.

Hope everyone here gets a :bfp: soon!