Dear God keep me from being bitter


#1

Ok so I usually try to have a good attitude about other peoples pregnancies specially because I’m still ashamed of how I stopped talking to my SIL her whole pregnancy 4 yrs ago because I just couldn’t deal with it even though I know at the time there was just no other way I could feel about it. I prayed I would never feel that way again because I really wish I had been there for her. Well I thought I was doing so good. My 16 yr old cousin got pregnant no problem, 2 more younger single cousins got accidentally pregnant as well no problem, my SIL got pregnant again no prob all this in just a few months whatever its cool and then the u/s pics on fb came and the talk of babyshowers and one of them is having her baby shower on New years eve well there’s only so much I could take and I broke down. Its feeling reminded of my own infertility so much and family telling me I need to hurry up and get pregnant. I still manage to put a smile on my face and fake it but inside it hurts like hell. I’m sorry to post this rant, I have no one else to talk to about this.


#2

:grouphug: :grouphug:

I know exactlyyyy how you feel, my SIL has about a 10month old baby and I ignored her pretty much up until recently because of the hurt, and then I felt so bad. And now my other SIL is pregnant with a guy she cheated on her boyfriend with and has only known a few short months, and she is now PREGNANT. So, needles to say I’m feeling the same bitterness. It’s so hard, just try your hardest to be strong. I know right now I’m also struggling. We can all get through this… right? :grouphug:


#3

I so know how you feel!! It is something I struggle with every single day. I recently quit my job, I worked in the medical field and I couldn’t take one more day seeing the crackhead mothers or the 16 year old pregnant girls! I hate being in this place. All of my friends, and I do mean all, have babies or are pregnant. They treat me like I am uncapable of being happy for them and exculde me from things that they do bc they think they are sparing my feelings. They are making decisions for me and it drives me crazy! No, I am not happy about the fact that they hardly like their husbands and only have sex with them on holidays and birthdays and somehow have a slew of children. All the while I have a FANTASTIC relationship with mine and can think of nothing that I would like more than to carry HIS child and I cant!! I hate that I have to avoid facebook bc every post is about due dates, baby showers, new pics of babies, this list goes on. I don’t post pictures of every fantastic thing my husband does for me or the wonderful places we go. I don’t brag about the wonderful life I have… I realize it’s unreasonable for me to expect mothers not to go over board posting about their children or pregnancy but come on! GEEZ! I hate that people feel sorry for me and no matter what I do or where I go, if someone knows about my fertility struggles I am instantly pitied. ARGH! Im sorry I have nothing positive to say to your post. I wish there was some magic answer that would change this for us! I also pray that I do not become some bitter, childless psycho that ruins my own marrage. I guess I should be thankful that I live in a time of medical technology and Ferility support forums. It does help to know that even though I am the only person I know dealing with this, I am not alone in the world… Good luck to you. I will say a prayer for you that God not only bless you with a child but also bless you with patience and understanding.


#4

I have to say ty. I cried reading ur posts and even though I know it prob sounds creepy to say that I’m touched by the support and your stories. I feel so isolated and alone when it comes to IF. I wish things were different for us. I pray for strength for all of us and I pray we may all know the joy of being a mother.


#5

I agree, it is strange to feel comfort in someone elses sorrow… I too felt comfort from reading the posts on here. I have a feeling this site will become my new “facebook”. My heart feels lighter just knowing someone else knows how I feel, knowing that I am not alone. I so wish there were more support groups for women like us. I could use a weekly meeting to pick me up! So glad you posted today.


#6

It’s easy to feel isolated and alone with infertility, especially with everyone around you seemingly getting pregnant so easily… I take it hard when a pregnancy is announced, even harder when bump pictures are constantly being posted or when the pregnant woman complains about a baby kicking inside her. Those kicks signify the life growing inside, a life I may never feel… I allow myself to cry, vent, scream, etc whenever I need to. While I can’t expect anyone who’s fertile to ever understand I know my husband does and so will ladies on here. You have a lot of support and unfortunately each of us can understand! Stay strong!