Does personality matter with donor sperm?


DH and I have decided to use donor sperm, but we’re struggling a bit on whether we just stick to physical characteristics, or should we pay closer attention to the personality characteristics? Nature vs nurture, etc. Some people have said to just pick the closest in height, hair color, eye color, heritage, and family health history. I’m just curious what others have found who have children from DS.

Do you notice any personality traits that don’t match either you or your DH, or have your DS babies picked up your or DH’s personality traits? My DH has a very unique personality, and he feels it would be hard to match… :wink:

I’m trying to comfort him with proof that our baby will pick up some of his personality traits and no one will know any different.


I haven’t used DS so really cannot give you the perspective you are specifically looking for, but I can tell you–having had four children now–that their personalities show up right away within hours of birth and thus at least to some degree are already there and influenced by nature since they are apparent prior to nurture taking place. In my view based on this experience these personality traits that show up this early are the strongest traits and persist regardless of nurture. Of course this is not to say that some traits are not learned just as some expressions are or things we say that are picked up for example, but if it were me knowing what I know I would also look at trying to find people who think and feel as you do too.

Of course, even with all this there still may be things you don’t understand about how your child thinks or why they do some of the things they do and this is true in my experience even with those that are you own bio children as I have one child out of my four that I really don’t understand nearly as well as my others and it is just because his personality is so much more like my husband’s and his family than my own so…there is still the possibility that even in looking for people with your own personalities that there will still be traits that you cannot readily identify with, but again this is true even in bio families so…to me you just do the best you can matching the donor to fit you and your DH and that is all you can do and if the child is a little different than you then that is okay too because that could have happened even if the child was biologically yours so…it just makes you family and makes you learn about each other and makes life interesting so no worries :flower:

Good Luck–it will all work out!! :grouphug:


Thanks ahhny! That does make sense and I appreciate the response. Congrats on your newborn baby girl!


Ours are only 5 months and are donor eggs and at least one, if not both, are donor sperm. Their personalities were set at birth, and are certainly parts of each of us! Go for it! We have NO regrets!


Thanks lucyddr!