Does positive thinking affect IVF outcome?


#1

Hello friends

As you can see in my signature, I have gone through 3 failed cycles and you know how it can be disappointing to get negative. For my first and second try I was really positive about the outcome and I thought that I got pregnant, but, when I got BFN, it was really devastating and I lost all my hope;then, I decided to not be positive in my third try. So, I didn’t feel that it can be a successful cycle and sometimes I even forgot that we put an embryo in. and then again I got negative with an early AF :frowning:
Now I want to prepare myself for next cycle and hopefully the last one and I want to get some help from you who understand my feeling. Please help me how I can deal with my feeling to stay positive while remaining realistic.
I am waiting for all your word because I really feel confused


#2

Hallo Tany.
I am currently gearing up for my first IVF for July/August and have also wondered about the impact of thoughts and attitude during this tedious process. I read an amazing book “The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant.” by Jean M Twenge PhD. She has a whole chapter titled “If one more person tells me to relax… The psycological side of getting pregnant.” She says it would be a lot more relaxing if people stopped telling us to “just relax” as we then would not have to fight the urge to smack them. LOL.
She describes a tegnique she calls “Defensive Pessimism” and also refers to a book “The Positive power of Negative Thinking” by Julie Norem. The tecnique is that you pepare yourselve for a possible negative outcome before it happens, by setting your expectations a a low to medium level in order not to be too disappointed. It’s about protecting yourself from getting your hopes too high. Defensive Pessimism is all about perception. Like having a blind date: expecting nothing to develop from the date, but still being positive about the date because it might be The One. Then, if it doesn’t turn out to be The One, you just hope that the next one might be, but you do not expect the next one to be The One. I’ll give you a quote from the book: [I]“Let’s say you are optimistic and expect to get pregnant the first cycle you try. If you do, your expectations are fulfilled. If you don’t, you’re really dissappointed (and even more dissapointed if it still hasn’t happend after several more months). If you are less optimistic, even a little pessimistic, you tell yourself it’s unlikely that you’ll get pregnant on the first try and that it will probably take about six months. If you don’t, its what you expected[/I].”

I hope this helps. Good luck!


#3

hi Frans
Thanks for your comment. I am thinking on your words and still confused. If you watched the film called " Secret " it says that how you thinks is the same as how it will happen in your life. so, if we think a little negative in an IVF try, then we will get an outcome which is because of the way we thought. You see I am still confused.
Let’s say like this. I will think positive that my embryos are in good place and they will growing inside me then on the other hand I can say that I will try again if it will not success. in this case I will be more optimistic than pessimistic. what do you think?
Hope your first IVF try will be also your last one


#4

Hi Tany,

Like you, I too have been through multiple cycles and at different times been extremely hopeful, less positive etc.
I now find the most helpful thing is to keep my mind busy and try not to think about what is happening in my body - It is difficult to do this all of the time but I think this is the only way to preserve my sanity through this process.


#5

I agree with a more positive approach. I believe in God, so this could have something to do with my views. But I have ALWAYS carried some sort of doubt through by entire infertility journey. But I prayed about it, and prayed with others - and through this learned the importance of Faith. Faith in God. There is a quote that I have on my instagram prays “Faith is not knowing that God can, it is believing that He will.”

I am in - or was in - a clinical trial for IVF. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. I barely got in due to my weight and borderline FSH (I had to lose 10 lbs to get in and my FSH was 13, which is the highest they will accept). My first cycle was cancelled due to premature ovulation even on the long lupron protocol (which apparently only happens 1-2% of the time on this protocol). When I finally had a successful ER, only one of my 7 embryos made it to blast stage - so while the trial gives you up to 6 tries based on how many embryos you have, I only had ONE try. And the protocol was to transfer two embies, but I only had 1 to transfer. Instead of taking this as a sign that it wasn’t meant to happen, took this as a test of my Faith. God wanted to show me how he works miracles in the lives of those that have TRUE Faith. As optimistic as I had been on previous attempts at pregnancies (IUIs, timed intercourse, etc.) my track record of no success always reserved a swither of doubt in my mind. Well this time, I said I was going to meet God’s challenge of my Faith. The day of my transfer presented yet another challenge. Somehow I was booked on the wrong flight, and there were NO FLIGHTS that could get my from my hometown of Michigan to New York where my transfer was to take place. My MIL graciously volunteered to drive me in the middle of the snowy night to Chicago so that I could fly to NYC for my transfer. Shaken, nervous, and sleep deprived, I said a finally prayer and walked in for my FET with my head held high and the determination that I would walk out pregnant - and that my story would be a testimony. My nerves somehow transformed into a complete calm that consumed me - the kind of calm you get when all is right in your world. After my transfer, I thanked God every night in my 1 week wait my beta for giving me the gift of motherhood and I talked to my baby every single day and night. I told my baby mommy and daddy loves you and we can’t wait to meet you. Hold on tight baby B and snuggle in good. I woke up feeling happy and blessed every morning. Totally calm. I POASed everyday and kept getting negatives. But I didn’t allow that to stir my Faith. I just talked to my baby about how they need to snuggle in good so mommy can get a positive pregnancy test!

Well anyway, I made 12 weeks yesterday and my baby is doing just perfect. All I had was ONE try - But that is all my God needs.


#6

[quote=newlywedgal]I agree with a more positive approach. I believe in God, so this could have something to do with my views. But I have ALWAYS carried some sort of doubt through by entire infertility journey. But I prayed about it, and prayed with others - and through this learned the importance of Faith. Faith in God. There is a quote that I have on my instagram prays “Faith is not knowing that God can, it is believing that He will.”

I am in - or was in - a clinical trial for IVF. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. I barely got in due to my weight and borderline FSH (I had to lose 10 lbs to get in and my FSH was 13, which is the highest they will accept). My first cycle was cancelled due to premature ovulation even on the long lupron protocol (which apparently only happens 1-2% of the time on this protocol). When I finally had a successful ER, only one of my 7 embryos made it to blast stage - so while the trial gives you up to 6 tries based on how many embryos you have, I only had ONE try. And the protocol was to transfer two embies, but I only had 1 to transfer. Instead of taking this as a sign that it wasn’t meant to happen, took this as a test of my Faith. God wanted to show me how he works miracles in the lives of those that have TRUE Faith. As optimistic as I had been on previous attempts at pregnancies (IUIs, timed intercourse, etc.) my track record of no success always reserved a swither of doubt in my mind. Well this time, I said I was going to meet God’s challenge of my Faith. The day of my transfer presented yet another challenge. Somehow I was booked on the wrong flight, and there were NO FLIGHTS that could get my from my hometown of Michigan to New York where my transfer was to take place. My MIL graciously volunteered to drive me in the middle of the snowy night to Chicago so that I could fly to NYC for my transfer. Shaken, nervous, and sleep deprived, I said a finally prayer and walked in for my FET with my head held high and the determination that I would walk out pregnant - and that my story would be a testimony. My nerves somehow transformed into a complete calm that consumed me - the kind of calm you get when all is right in your world. After my transfer, I thanked God every night in my 1 week wait my beta for giving me the gift of motherhood and I talked to my baby every single day and night. I told my baby mommy and daddy loves you and we can’t wait to meet you. Hold on tight baby B and snuggle in good. I woke up feeling happy and blessed every morning. Totally calm. I POASed everyday and kept getting negatives. But I didn’t allow that to stir my Faith. I just talked to my baby about how they need to snuggle in good so mommy can get a positive pregnancy test!

Well anyway, I made 12 weeks yesterday and my baby is doing just perfect. All I had was ONE try - But that is all my God needs.[/quote]

WOWWW!! Newlywedgal, that is an awesome testimony! Fantastic! I pray and believe you will have a wonderful pregnancy and continue to deliver that awesome testimony. Wow, amazing!


#7

[QUOTE=newlywedgal]I agree with a more positive approach. I believe in God, so this could have something to do with my views. But I have ALWAYS carried some sort of doubt through by entire infertility journey. But I prayed about it, and prayed with others - and through this learned the importance of Faith. Faith in God. There is a quote that I have on my instagram prays “Faith is not knowing that God can, it is believing that He will.”

I am in - or was in - a clinical trial for IVF. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. I barely got in due to my weight and borderline FSH (I had to lose 10 lbs to get in and my FSH was 13, which is the highest they will accept). My first cycle was cancelled due to premature ovulation even on the long lupron protocol (which apparently only happens 1-2% of the time on this protocol). When I finally had a successful ER, only one of my 7 embryos made it to blast stage - so while the trial gives you up to 6 tries based on how many embryos you have, I only had ONE try. And the protocol was to transfer two embies, but I only had 1 to transfer. Instead of taking this as a sign that it wasn’t meant to happen, took this as a test of my Faith. God wanted to show me how he works miracles in the lives of those that have TRUE Faith. As optimistic as I had been on previous attempts at pregnancies (IUIs, timed intercourse, etc.) my track record of no success always reserved a swither of doubt in my mind. Well this time, I said I was going to meet God’s challenge of my Faith. The day of my transfer presented yet another challenge. Somehow I was booked on the wrong flight, and there were NO FLIGHTS that could get my from my hometown of Michigan to New York where my transfer was to take place. My MIL graciously volunteered to drive me in the middle of the snowy night to Chicago so that I could fly to NYC for my transfer. Shaken, nervous, and sleep deprived, I said a finally prayer and walked in for my FET with my head held high and the determination that I would walk out pregnant - and that my story would be a testimony. My nerves somehow transformed into a complete calm that consumed me - the kind of calm you get when all is right in your world. After my transfer, I thanked God every night in my 1 week wait my beta for giving me the gift of motherhood and I talked to my baby every single day and night. I told my baby mommy and daddy loves you and we can’t wait to meet you. Hold on tight baby B and snuggle in good. I woke up feeling happy and blessed every morning. Totally calm. I POASed everyday and kept getting negatives. But I didn’t allow that to stir my Faith. I just talked to my baby about how they need to snuggle in good so mommy can get a positive pregnancy test!

Well anyway, I made 12 weeks yesterday and my baby is doing just perfect. All I had was ONE try - But that is all my God needs.[/QUOTE]

WONDERFUL. thanks for sharing your nice experience. I love this sentence [COLOR=“Red”][B]“Faith is not knowing that God can, it is believing that He will.”[/B]
I also believe in GOD and I know that he just want to examine my faith. I will do the same as you did. I have just talked with my husband and told him that we should be more positive because there is nothing wrong with embryo and also with my body. both are perfect and the positive faith and hope just was lacking. SO, I will add my strong and positive faith in next try and I will try to stay positive :slight_smile:
just one question: How you did deal with your negative thought? I know that for some minutes you thought negatively that maybe it was not working and so on… I want to know how you handle that feeling?
Hugs


#8

I think it does for implantation but for egg quality i do not think so. The doctor load us up with hormone however stressed you are will not influence the hormonal balance in your system to affect egg quality. But then again if you think about rape victims, i can’t imagine how sad, depressed, stressed etc they are but they still get pregnant (???) so there you go I just contradicted myself. I do listen to mind and body CDs. One is made by Circle and Bloom LLC they have a sample if you want to try. And several others from UK. The CDs do help me relax and fall asleep. Let me know pm me if you are interested in the details.


#9

Positive thinking is great but I don’t think that it affects outcome one way or the other. I, personally have always practiced ‘defensive pessimism’ like FranS mentioned. It might not be the most warm-fuzzy approach but it helps me to prepare for and accept when things don’t go as well as I would like. I have been reading a book called The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. It talks about how it can be much healthier for our psyche to accept that things don’t always have positive outcomes and that those who accept that tend to cope better.
That being said, I also think that positivity, realism, and pessimism are all personality traits and you should do whatever comes most naturally for you and makes you feel the best about this next cycle and your chances for success!
Good luck!!


#10

I, also, did the defensive pessimisim thing during my TWW. I had myself convinced I was getting my period and was planning out what I would do differently my next cycle. That is also the kind of person I tend to be (preparing for the worse, which I don’t exactly LIKE but sigh it is what it is). I will say even as I was preparing for the BFN and researching what to do the next cycle I was pregnant, so the negative thinking didn’t effect the positive outcome.


#11

I don’t know if “thinking” affects anything, but I always stayed positive by focusing on all the good in my life: close family, friends, good job, etc. I counted my blessings and reminded myself how bad some people have it. I’d get really sad after a negative result, but as my mom always said, “it’s not terminal” and I’d try to do some good in my life to make up for it. That’s just how I handled it, always counted my blessings.
Good luck on whatever your next move it


#12

Awwosme thanks for your comment. I am agree with your mom that it “it is not terminal” as long as you have faith and hope. So, I will try to think like that :wink:


#13

There are two sides of this. First of all, The Secret tells people that they can make something happen with their thoughts (positive or negative), and this is simply not true. Your thoughts are different from your emotions, so the closest, physiologically, you can get to what The Secret talks about is that your thoughts have some effect on your emotions which have, honestly, a negligible effect on your actual overall health until you’re talking about things like major depression. The problem with The Secret is that it makes people feel like it’s their fault for thinking any negative thought at all when something doesn’t happen the way they hoped, when in fact, their thoughts had no effect whatsoever. All you’ll do is make yourself more anxious trying to prevent yourself from having negative thoughts, which is extremely natural and WILL continue to happen. And that’s a good thing.

The other side of this, though, is that what you CAN control with your thoughts is your own happiness, which is worth it. I think people become so wrapped up in trying to control the external world with willpower (impossible) that they forget about controlling their internal world with willpower (eminently possible). Allow yourself negative thoughts, but when you have them, practice loving, patient thought habits toward yourself and try to guide yourself to a more positive line of thinking. That approach will absolutely have an effect (the effect of making you calmer and happier), and you believe that has a positive effect on your body’s fertility, then all the better. But do it for you, not for a baby, because you can actually drive yourself into depression and delusion that way, as I have seen often in people before.


#14

[QUOTE=kashiruvana]There are two sides of this. First of all, The Secret tells people that they can make something happen with their thoughts (positive or negative), and this is simply not true. Your thoughts are different from your emotions, so the closest, physiologically, you can get to what The Secret talks about is that your thoughts have some effect on your emotions which have, honestly, a negligible effect on your actual overall health until you’re talking about things like major depression. The problem with The Secret is that it makes people feel like it’s their fault for thinking any negative thought at all when something doesn’t happen the way they hoped, when in fact, their thoughts had no effect whatsoever. All you’ll do is make yourself more anxious trying to prevent yourself from having negative thoughts, which is extremely natural and WILL continue to happen. And that’s a good thing.

The other side of this, though, is that what you CAN control with your thoughts is your own happiness, which is worth it. I think people become so wrapped up in trying to control the external world with willpower (impossible) that they forget about controlling their internal world with willpower (eminently possible). Allow yourself negative thoughts, but when you have them, practice loving, patient thought habits toward yourself and try to guide yourself to a more positive line of thinking. That approach will absolutely have an effect (the effect of making you calmer and happier), and you believe that has a positive effect on your body’s fertility, then all the better. But do it for you, not for a baby, because you can actually drive yourself into depression and delusion that way, as I have seen often in people before.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your complete comment. As I understand you mean that we shouldn’t ignore our negative thought and feeling since it is a part of our nature. But, don’t you think that negative thought can ruin the whole cycle? I mean for example if you transfer good embryo and doctors say that everything is perfect, but you think that it is impossible for you to get pregnant or you can not even dream positive result, then do you think with this negative thoughts you can destroy all doctors’s attempt and your body feel that you are not ready to accept the embryo… Hope you get the point. What do you think?


#15

Newlywedgal~Absolutely love your testimony!!! :pray: your pregnancy continues to go smoothly!!