Doing IUI again, this time for child #2


#1

I saw this thread in the IVF forums, and I thought i as a good idea to start in IUI - since sometimes I feel like they “look” at me differently since I am doing a less invasive procedure.

Anyhow, I thought it was a good topic, since sometimes you feel guilty that you have 1 while others are still trying for their first.

So I wanted to start a thread where we can talk about trying again, and not have to worry about people being upset that we already have one.

My son is my miracle baby, and so grateful he is here. But I am excited to try and make him a big brother.

Currently in my 2ww from my IUIs on 12/1 and 12/2/2010.

Let me know if anyone else is out there and found this thread.


#2

Hello Jordana, I just had my first iui for #2 today. So we are in the 2ww together your just a bit ahead of me. Not feeling too great about the iui as our counts were a bit low and I only had one mature follicle (but that is all it took with ds as well).

I am wishing you lots of luck! :flower:


#3

So glad you found my thread!

Dont think about the numbers too much, remember, it only takes 1…

My first successful IUI happened with one egg (it ended up being ectopic, but my RE said “hey, at least you know you CAN GET pregnant.” SO we counted that a success.

I had my DS 9 months ago, and my Dr said i could try for #2 aafter 6 months… so I said to DH “We will try 3 times on our own and then we go back to science.”

Seriously, what are the chances it would work the first time around… that would REALLY be a miracle -


#4

Jordana - thank you for starting this thread.

I was very lucky with my first IUI in 2008 and got my mircle baby and like you, I now want to give my DS a brother or sister.

Last month when I got my BFN on my second IUI (first IUI since having my DS) someone on this board said something to the effect [B]“don’t worry about your BFN, at least you have a son and many of us dont have any babies yet.”[/B]

That really upset me. I know how it feels to want to have a baby after trying for years on our own and not being able to conceive. But because I have a child now it makes it okay for me to have a BFN? My son has the RIGHT to have a sibling and I think ANYONE TTC whether it be for baby #1 or baby #5 should not feel guilt or any other feeling because they are trying again.

We are all in the same boat, trying for the same thing. Every BFN hurts and this forum is a place for us to get support, share stories and find answers. The last thing anyone needs is someone to make us feel that we dont deserve to be trying because we have a child already and they dont.

I don’t think the person on this board who made the comment realized what she was saying. I never replied to that comment. I wanted many times to post something to talk about it with everyone but never did. So thank you again for starting this discussion.


#5

I didn’t have my DD with IUI or IVF. She was a surprise BFP. but now we are having to try IUI. So i don’t really feet in this little group. But i wanted to say goodluck :cross: and don’t let someones words of “well you already have a child and i have none” words hurt you. Some women let infertility make them bitter… and i’ve been ttc #2 for almost 9 years but am not bitter.


#6

I am also TTC#2 through IUI. We got pregnant with our dd in 2005 very quickly -no fertility treatments needed. I was blissfully ignorant to all of this stuff - we just bd and got pregnant. Started TTC#2 about three years later and NOTHING. We are now over 2.5 years into this and I’m so frustrated. More than anything, I want my dd to have a sibling. Of course I am blessed and lucky to have her - and I love her so much that I really want to expand our family and give her a little brother or sister. My biggest struggle is that the age gap between them widens each month. She will six years old next year, sigh…


#7

I just wanted to say good luck to all of you ladies. I think sometimes it is tough for those of us who dont even know if we can get pregnant. But I do know that you all have the right to the same amount of support and understanding that we all expect on this board. Hopefully, I will be right there with you guys once I get pregnant with my #1. Since its been so tough to conceive #1, I have a feeling we will be doing this all over again to get #2. We definitely want two babies! :slight_smile: Again, good luck to you all!


#8

Thanks for starting this thread. I’m trying for my number 2. DD was born after 17 months of trying natually. Just this morning I realized it’s my 18th month trying for #2. I know it’s not long compared to many other people here, but it hurts the same. For people around me, they think we have 1 already so should have no problem have another one. So they kept asking us when we’ll have another and warning us about the age gap. I know the age gap and hate every month I put in there.

I do feel some comfort in the fact I have DD already who’s just perfect. OK, I’m talking with rosy glasses. But seriously, it still hurts when AF comes every month.

Good luck to us all!:pray:


#9

I’m so glad you all found this thread.

Let me address the “worried about age gap” thing. I know one of the hardest things about this process for me is “not being in control” and I find that the IUI/science aspect allows me to feel “at least I am doing everything possible and a feeling of SOME kind of control.”

I thought once my body “knew” how to become pregnant that after DS was born, I would wait 6 months (since I had a c-section and OB told me to wait 6 months - ususally ayear, but he said since it took so long for Ds I could get a jump on things) and then would get pregnant right away. Well, it didnt happen that way… I tried 3 cycles on my own and went back for IUI. (waiting on my preg test, schedule for 8 DAYS FROM NOW!)

My SIL actually had PCO and irregular periods and it took 4 years with IUI to get her DD (now 8) and 3 more years for DS(now 5). While I was preg with my Ds she told me my brother wanted another one, but she didnt want to go through all that again. She said it wasnt worth it (gasp! I know!) and that if G-d wanted her to have another one, He’d have to get involved, so she gave up.

Well, she’s now pregnant. I cried when she told me because it TRULEY was a miracle. NO help, no nothing. She felt sick and said to herself. “I cant be pregnant, right?” When she told her 8 and 5 year old, they were THRILLED. The 8 year old cannot wait for the baby to come and she is already ready to be so helpful. I know when the baby turns 12 its sister will be 20, but as long as they have each other I think the age gap isnt the WORST thing.


#10

OK, so now I have a question:

I remember when I had my first IUI they told me not to lift heavy things after…

Well, my DS is 9 months old and weighs 22 pounds. Last night I went to put him in his crib and while I leaned over I felt a big cramp in my left side near my hip. So bad, I went to lay down for 10 minutes till it passed.

This morning, he was laying on my while drinking his bottle and I got the cramps again but this time above my pelvis.

Is this a bad sign?? what do you ladies think… any tips? DH works all day, and I am at home. I can’t sit on the floor all day with my son.


#11

I think your ovaries are just sore from the meds - I think the egg/sperm would be so small that there’s no way that lifting something so early in pregnancy would harm anything. I have two friends who get pregnant just by looking at their husband - the one rode a 100 mile bike race while she was pregnant and the other moved her mother from one house to another with lots of heavy lifting. Neither knew they were pregnant at the time! My ovaries/pelvic area are sore took, and sometimes it hurts when I lift something or turn quickly - I totally know what you’re talking about!


#12

As for the age gap, thanks for the pep talk! I know it will work out regardless, I was just really hoping for a 3-4 year age gap, now it’s leaning toward 6-7 years apart.


#13

Jordana, thanks for your SIL’s story. I understand when she said it’s not worth it. When I asked my husband if he would want a 3rd one if we can have a second. He said no because he doesn’t want me to go through what I’m going through again and he thinks it’s not worth the pain (mostly emotional).

As to your question, my DD is close to 40 lb and I didn’t lift her the day of IUI, but after that, I hold her all the time. I think the pain is more due to your ovaries and uterus being enlarged while on meds. So don’t worry too much about it.


#14

Oh - regarding your sister’s story - I also wanted to tell the “miracle” story of my good friend… she had her first child easily, but it took 2.5 years and 5 IUIs to get her second BFP which was TWINS. Then six months after the twins were born she got pregnant naturally - a surprise baby! She always laughs about how she thought she’d have one child, and now she has FOUR of them under five years old. :slight_smile:


#15

Age gap… i always wanted my children 2-3 years apart and to be done having children by the age of 30. We also wanted 4 children. So when DD turned 2 back in 2002 we started ttc. She will be turning 11 in Jan and here i am still trying to have another living child. That 2-3 years apart and having them done by the time i was 30 went out the window LOL. I just turned 31 in Sept and if im lucky my children will be atleast 11 1/2 years apart.

Sometimes god just has different plans for us than we do!


#16

So glad to see this discussion…infertility is a struggle whether you are trying for #1 or #2 or more…

DD was an IVF baby, and DS on the way is an IUI baby…it wasn’t any easier waiting for the test results the second time around…and BFN’s still stunk just as bad during the round of treatment to get the second pregnancy…

Good luck to all on this thread who are TTC #2 or more…you WILL get there and get your sibling…secondary infertility is just as treatable as primary…

As to the lifting issue…my DD is 21 lbs and a ball of wiggles at 13 months…doc said that she is my “lifting limit”…not to worry about lifting her, but nothing heavier…

On the age gap thing…we are actually closer that we wanted to be…it took us 3 years to get pregnant with DD so we figured we’d better get on it…we figured IUI would fail again and had planned to do an IVF in Jan/Feb 2011 leaving us exactly 2 years apart…only 2 cycles back at the RE for IUIs had us pregnant again…so DS will be born when DD is 20 months old…just goes to show you can’t plan these things, in either direction…the siblings will have great relationships whenever they show up in relation to each other.

:babydust: to all!


#17

Hello ladies,

I am wishing everyone the best of luck!!! Whether you are trying for #1 or #6, it’s all good! I am not doing any treatments at this time because my baby is only 2 1/2 months old. I like to check on the forums to see what kind of chances I would have, for #2. God willing, I won’t try again until sometime next year. I am planning them close in age because I am getting older and so are my eggs :frowning:
Sending everyone :babydust:


#18

I’m so glad you started this thread. I’m not ready for baby #2 yet, but we’ll definitely be doing IUI or IVF for baby #2. I worry so much about being sensitive to others’ feelings so I’m glad there is a thread like this when I go to try again.

Raquel - I’m going to be trying again next fall…don’t know when you’re going to cycle again, but maybe we’ll get to be cycle buddies!


#19

Hello I am new to the board and am so happy to have found it! My DH and I were blessed with our miracle baby after 4 years of actively ttc with clomid on and off, and then 8 months of treatment with an RE. Our girl was the result of our 4th medicated IUI.

We have just began ttc for #2 and had our IUI on 12/4. The dreaded 2ww is as agonizing as I remember. I tried to tell my self I would be so Zen this time around as now I know it can will happen but that is so much easier said the done. I hope we all get the BFP’s we all deserve!


#20

You know, its funny. I thought I would be LESS Stressed this time around because I already have one, but the stress is there no matter what.

For those who are “trying to space” their kids according to their plan, I just want to echo what some poeple are saying and a yiddish phrase my grandmother taught me “Man plans, and G-d laughs.” We think things will happen when we want them too, and G-d either suprises us in a good way, or a he/she has plans of his/her own. So for your own MENTAL state, give yourself a couple months leeway adn start a bit earlier in case things dont happen in the timeline you want.

My OBGYN told me to start trying (post c-section) at 6 months, vs 12 months he tells people, and I figured I would breastfeed till 6 months and then get on the horse. Well, my AF never arrived when I started weaning, so hence first IUI at DS’s 9th month birthday.

Just my 2 cents. Take it or leave it, no worries.