My sister has asked me to donate my sperm to her wife.
I have a lot of questions going through my mind about this and its more causing more stress than I feel like I deserve, mainly because of the way the proposition is being handled.
If anyone can offer some assistance I would appreciate it. Below is a list of things about myself and my life that I think are relevant. Please don’t judge me based on these but if you have advice based on these the it might be of some help to me:
-My father and I are accepting of my sister being a lesbian, my mother is not.
-I don’t know if the child or anyone else would know that I am the father, and I don’t know if I could deal with them not knowing.
-I don’t really have much interest in having a child, there are enough people in the world.
-I am expected to be the guardian of the child should something happen, but I plan for a short life (10-15 more years).
-I have health problems: addiction (alcohol and tobacco, both under control now), some drug use years ago (just marijuana), depression (exacerbated by this scenario). Alcohol abuse seems to run in my family and I know that I’ve done a lot of damage to myself already.
-I don’t even know if I’m fertile. I have a varicocele and have had multiple torsions, I’ve never taken a test.
I’ve asked people close to me and have gotten a mixed bag of responses. A lot of guys say “just do it” but I’m concerned they don’t think about the repercussions of going through with it. I’ve asked some friends of my who are gay women and all have told me that they would never consider asking their brother for this, including those that have had children from donor sperm.
Any advice that you can give would be a big help.