Curious if anyone else out there is considering donor eggs at a relatively young age. Apparently I have particularly bad egg quality and cannot continue to pursue pregnancy with my eggs - not financially, not emotionally. I’m currently going through another m/c and my doctor basically said if I want more children, DE is my best avenue at this point. I’d really like to hear other’s stories too. I feel really alone - I’m 34.
I was shocked, too, when I was told at the age of 32, that Donor Eggs was my only real option of becoming pregnant. (even after having a child conceived naturally. Apparently, my egg quality and quantity significantly decreased.). I found lots of support on the “IVF with DE” thread on here. You can jump right in there by making a post, and you will see there are women with a variety of stories…with ages ranging from 20 somethings to 50! People make several posts there every day. I found that when people make posts in new threads, they don’t get as many responses, so I would read some posts there, and jump on there!
Thanks for the advice! I was just checking it out and trying to get a feel for it…will post soon!
I’m 32 and pursuing donor eggs. My tests never came back that there was an obvious problem, but after 3 IVFs, 2 FETs, and 2 early miscarriages, a problem was obvious and our doctor recommended pursing donor eggs. Not an easy thing to hear at 31 and definitely took some time to process. It’s difficult too because like you said, you feel alone because everyone else seems to be older. It’s good to hear from people who are a little younger who are having to deal with this.
HI, Im 28 and am considering Donor eggs if we decide to do more fertilility treatments. I conceived my bio son at age 17 and 5 years later when we ttc #2, it didnt work. At age 24 i had high FSH. we did one IVF cycle and it was negative, so we were going to try again and after 6 weeks of suppression, by day 3 labs, my fsh had jumped ALOT. Too much that my RE said i would need donor eggs. At that point, we just wanted a baby and biology did NOT matter, so we took our money and adopted. (we didnt have enough$$ to pursue donor eggs anyways) We brought home a wonderful newborn boy about a year ago now.
Ive considered trying with my own eggs since im only 28 but if my eggs were bad at 24, they arent going to be any better now. I really just want another child, so if donor eggs are going to get me that, then so be it. I carry the baby, im the mom 100%. It is a real kick to the gut to know that your eggs arent good, but at least there are other options i guess. Good luck to you, rach
I think you can see that there are several of us. As you can see by my signature, I am 34. My FSH is 8.7 and my AMH is 2.5 I ovulate regularly and normally. We went into our first IVF thinking that I had some very mild ovarian dysfunction based on a Lupron challenge test and that the other 98% was severe male factor. On the day of our egg retrieval, our doctor was shocked at how poorly the eggs looked under the scope. Sadly, they performed equally bad.
Our doctor recommended going straight to donor eggs after the first cycle and said that to recommend any other treatment would be “unethical.” At the advice of these boards and probably some denial, I chose to do a second cycle. It was a total disaster!
I have a hard time dealing with the fact that my destiny is based on the appearance and function of my eggs, when everything always implies that the labs are the end-all-be-all. But, after the October fiasco, I know for sure that it’s my only option short of spending over $100k and 30-40 days at a place like CCRM hoping for that “one good egg.” Even then, we’d be super lucky to come out with one baby.
Once I committed to the donor egg process, I am now at peace with my decision. I still tear up when I think about the fact that my children will not have my blue eyes, curly hair, or dimples. But then I realize that they might not have these features even if they came from my eggs!
In the end, I want 2 children. Ideally, I’d like to have my children before I turn 40…and the sooner the better. Donor eggs are our best chance for achieving this goal.
The ladies on the DEII thread are amazing and are full of advice and encouragement. Please, please, please post over there as well! There are a few of us who are under 40 and “active” on the board (AxOMar, Jesoro, and Melissa30 are my first thoughts.)…but age doesn’t matter so much once the decision has been made!
Best wishes on your decisions! I’ve been through quite a bit in my 34 years, but nothing has rivaled the emotional torture that our infertility has caused…especially in terms on “accepting” our need for a donor. :flower: While I cried and cried in our doc’s office that day (July 19 to be exact), our doctor kept telling me that the moment I saw the heartbeat…the baby would be mine. He swears that all of my concerns will be afterthoughts once we get to that point. He’s been honest and right so far…so I’m hoping he’s right on this as well!
I’m 38 now, was 35 when we began fertility treatments and it was then we discovered my AMH was only 0.27. We tried one IVF cycle with my own eggs and didn’t even make it to transfer. It’s hard not to be at peace with my decision to use donor eggs, as it so greatly increases our chance of taking home a baby!
I found out at 36. They did my amh twice because it was so low it didn’t register and they wanted to make sure it wasn’t a lab mistake. I still wanted to experience pregnancy, so we started to pursue DE. The RE stated he believed I probably started to have fertility issues in my late 20’s early 30’s but since I wasn’t trying to have children then I wouldn’t have known. I was on the bcp for very, very long time and I still wonder if that jacked up my body, but I’ll never know for sure.
This board is a wonderful place for support.
starting egg donor search
I am new to the forum, and I need help. After my 3rd IVF, another m/c :(. I feel like my heart is broken. We have been trying to conceive for the past 6 yrs- pretty exhausting. I am 35, doctor suggested donor eggs. Where do I even start? Agency or look on my own? Are agencies expensive? How much do you pay for egg donor? Any good recommendations in Chicago? How long does it take to find a donor and proceed with ed cycle? As you can tell, I am very anxious to start…
I’m 29 and opted to have my ovaries removed when I was 28. At the time, I had the option of trying to preserve my eggs, but I’d had so many ovarian surgeries, there wasn’t much confidence in my eggs being very good. I had ZERO problem moving on to donor eggs. Yes, there’s a genetic link that’s lost, but I’d still get to experience pregnancy, be someone’s mom, and have my husband’s children (I hope he/she/it/they get his beautiful blue eyes!). All of that was more than enough for me.
Monica—Start with your RE. Ask if they have a donor egg program. Many of the larger clinics have their own in-house donor pools, but many women here have gone through agencies to find their donors. Again, your RE is the best resource to start. You’ll want to consider things like program fees, agency fees (if going with an agency), donor compensation fees (which vary GREATLY), and any of the extras, like legal fees, travel, and donor insurance. I’m not in Chicago, but I’ve seen a lot of Chicago-land ladies talking about FCI?
ED and under 40
I’m 38 and just had two 8 cell DE embryos transferred yesterday. As you see in my sig, I had two failed IVF attempts on my own and tho the cause isn’t really known, it’s doubtful I will ever conceive using my own eggs. I just didn’t want to wait and wait trying to conceive w/ my eggs and then start the DE process way later.
Good luck to you!
Wow! Congratulations on your success happybarrenness! I am not upset as much about the loss of genetic link as I am about the complicated nature of having one biological child and (hopefully!) children from an egg donor. I am an overthinker and will analyze a situation forever, and I think in one like this there is no one answer…which is hard to accept.
Good luck and I hope the time flies quickly until beta! Those are long days.
Monica - my RE is in Naperville and he had his own list of donors. We found one on his list that we liked, so we didn’t have to pay an agency fee. We compensated our donor $5,000 for her time. Illinois has a law that IVF is suppose to be covered by insurance, and thankfully mine was - even using a donor. The law states insurance is suppose to cover 4 egg retrievals and unlimited transfers.
As far as how long it took…we were in a unique situation because the donor we chose was out of state at college. We decided on her in October of 2010, but I didn’t start lupron until April 2011 and she didn’t start her stuff until May 2011. She was on the pill so they were able to sync my cycle with hers so that helped a lot. She had come back for spring break, so she did all of her bloodwork and stuff then. She started her stuff on May 22 and ER was June 3, so that part went really fast.
Here is the RE I went to:
Dr. Randy Morris
IVF Fertility Clinic | Chicago Infertility Specialist - Dr. Randy Morris
Here is his website that shows some of the ED he has on his list:
Illinois Egg Donors | IVF1 Match
I turned 34 in June and just gave birth to my daughter who was conceived using donor egg. After a few years of trying and 2 mc’s with my own eggs it was concluded that my egg quailty was not good. We moved on to donor eggs and could not have been any happier with the experience. My fresh cycle failed but my FET was succesful.
[quote=happybarreness]Yes, there’s a genetic link that’s lost, but I’d still get to experience pregnancy, be someone’s mom, and have my husband’s children (I hope he/she/it/they get his beautiful blue eyes!). All of that was more than enough for me.
[/quote]Hehe I’m a sucker for blues too. Both my husband and sister (egg donor) have blue eyes and I don’t, so I’m looking forward to having a blue-eyed baby! Not that there’s anything wrong with brown or green eyes mind you. But like I said, I’m a sucker for the blue ones.
Just thought I would say, “Hi!” and let you know that it is worth it! We moved to DE when I was 34. It was a long road to get where we are today, but so worth it. Good luck!
It’s so great to read all your positive stories after so much heartache.
I am 37 yrs old and went through 3 IVF cycles using my own eggs. I’ve been diagnosed with DOR when I was 35 and wanted to try and see if we could still have a shot with the few eggs I have left. The first 2 IVF cycles were pretty bad and resulted in a BPN. The 3rd one was much better and I got pregnant but just had a miscarriage at almost 9 weeks. My heart is broken and I am still grieving the loss of our baby very heavily.
My RE recommended trying with OE first and then move on to DE, which is what I had in mind all along if this cycle didn’t work. But I feel like I got so close this time that it’s hard to move on when I might still have a chance.
So, I have a question to all the DE moms on this board: Do you feel any different about your DE babies from your OE babies (if you had them)?
I am still grieving the loss of any genetic link, but I think DE is really my only option at this point. I feel alone, scared and confused.