donor sperm/adoption....thoughts please?


My husband has recently undergone a TESE examination and no sperm was found. We have been told donor sperm or adoption are our only options. We are devastated and unsure of what to do. Has anyone ever been told this and conceived naturally? ?


I’m so sorry to hear this! :frowning:
I can’t say that I’ve read of such a story, but that’s doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened or that tests can be wrong. That said, there are so many wonderful options and possibilities out there. Once you’ve had time to process this news I’m sure you’ll find lots of promising posts and blogs on similar situations that turned out well.

Good luck to you!


I am so so sorry for you and your DH. My husband and I received similar news about 4-5 years ago. Everyone’s journey is different but I will share mine with you. My husband had a little sperm but like less than 100 when we did the TESE so we went straight to IVF. We did three rounds and all three were negative. We decided it must be because of the quality of the sperm. There were further testing you can do to actually genetically test the embryos but we didn’t want to spend even more money. So, we prayed and cried and prayed some more. We decided to try donor sperm while we were on the waiting list for an adoption. It was the second medicated IUI that worked and gave us our miracle baby Jackson. The funny thing is he looks just like my husband, his Daddy. :slight_smile:

I know this news is raw and new right now and maybe my story isn’t quite what you wanted to hear but I do hope it helps. Just be there for your husband because he will need you and it may take a little bit for him to process the news. Hugs and if you need anything please feel free to contact me.


Thank you to you both for your replies. I really appreciate it. :slight_smile: :thankyou:
My husband and I are married just over 2 yrs, both in our early 30s, and were looking 4ward 2 starting our own family. This news was completely unexpected.
I had an abortion when I was 18, v young and I miscarried when I was 24 and felt that was my ‘eye 4 an eye’ so to speak and God’s way of punishing me 4 the abortion -catholic guilt!!
I just thought that everything would work out now and feel really hard done by. My husband is really good and he said he’s ok as long as I am but we’re worried that we might not have any kids and if we will always be ok without kids. I guess you never know what life will throw at you. He has high fsh levels so Dr. Told him he has to get a Dexa bone scan now every 2 yrs aswell. I do want to have kids but I wanted them to be my husbands genetic make up 2. :frowning:

Thank you for telling me your story stephanieIIII. It is good to hear good news stories. Thank you for your advice and offer. Hopefully our story will have a happy ending too:pray:


After 2 failed IVFs with no hope for a successful one -even though our Dr would have tried again. DH decided on using a donor. Best decision we made! Got pregnant on the 1st try and now have a wonderful baby boy. It’s not the genetics that count - it’s the love!


Don’t forget there’s a third option: donor embryos. So basically the options are…

  • Donor sperm, your egg, your pregnancy: genetically related to you but not DH, you guys pick the donor and you carry the child.
  • Donor embryo, your pregnancy: genetically related to neither of you, but you carry the child.
  • Adoption.

On average adoption takes by far the longest and is much more expensive than either of the first two options.