[quote=Lari11]My husband has a chromosomal issue and we have now done 5 unsuccessful cycles of IVF. We are moving toward next steps and he is very much against the idea of using donor sperm, even though we would likely be successful as I am (as far as we know) okay in terms of fertility. I have been looking for supports and resources online to help him at least research the topic but there isn’t much out there.
He is worried that he will not be connected to the child, that he won’t be able to be engaged in the pregnancy process because he will be thinking about the “other guy” and that years down the road comments from strangers about how our child does or does not look like him will greatly upset him. I think these are valid concerns but everything I have heard is that once you have the child and are the parent, it doesn’t matter so much where the genes came from.
Are there men out there who have considered using donor sperm? How have you worked through your concerns and if so how have things been once you have entered into the process?
I would appreciate any thoughts and advice that you may have![/quote]
Hello there! I must say my DH and I are now 31 weeks :preg: by using donor sperm. My hubby had two vasectomy reversals and we were not willing to have him go thru more surgery due to many complications following each surgery. My DH and I decided without any problems that we were using donor sperm. It was a decision that was either made or our hopes of a child was not going to happen.
We did research on the various traits including medical histories of the donors. It was important to us that the donor have the same family medical history as ours. We picked a donor with our similar blood type along with visual attributes. You can get pictures of the donors as well for a minimal cost. There is a description online as to strengths and weaknesses, education, aspirations, like and dislikes. You will be able to find someone similar to your DH you just need to keep looking thru the donor profiles. We used California Cryobank at which we used for our IUI cycles and did not get pregnant. It was highly recommended that we use Zygen Cryobank due to the quality and quantity of their samples. This sample was used for our IVF cycle and it worked like a charm!
My DH and I really do not think of the donor at which we chose for this baby. This baby is ours and that is always how we think of it! The donor sperm idea was easier to accept because we knew that we needed to go that route and it was our last and only option!
Good Luck and lots of :babydust: :babydust: to you. :flower: