Ds/de after trying donor embryo adoption?


Anyone here using donor sperm or donor egg after first going the donor embryo route?

Our first donor embryo FET resulted in a chemical loss of our babies. We are suiting up for FET #2 with the other two embies we adopted, but having had the first loss, I’m worried about worst case scenarios.

I have been most against ds (DH prefers not to go that route, but has expressed that if that’s what it takes, he will get on board). I am :pray: this next cycle works so I dont have to make this decision. But it is on the horizon simply bc of the sheer cost comparison. Every FET costs at least $5K once all is said and done (in our case legal, travel, monitoring, etc.), and from what I understand, donor IUIs are in the hudreds range. I pretty much am confident that a donor IUI would be successful, as I have a perfectly clean bill of fertility health. This is the same reason I expected the donor embryos to “take”, but I didn’t factor in the fact that about half of all conceived embies have chromosomal abnormalities that are “not compatible with life”… which is only compounded by the cost of each such attempt.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone went from donor embryos to donor sperm/egg… or if anyone went from pursuing traditional adoption to using a donor instead.



anilorak - DE/DS is an option but most people do not go that route because the DE costs are so high, you get a fresh transfer but once again it is not 100% effective.

As for DS we are also looking at that as a back-up plan if DEm does not work. The DS with IUI is pretty cheap but the DS is actually what makes it a little more than a few hundred $, also in knowing what a lot of the azoo ladies have went through if often takes many cycles to get pg… however that is still way cheaper than DE/DS or DEm.

Hopefully you do not need to worry about a back-up plan!


amy - you’re right, I wasn’t suggesting using both ds and de, just that different people have different diagnoses, so I wanted people’s take on using de over demb if that’s the issue they’re dealing with. Someone did suggest I use both de and ds if I didn’t want to mix my dna with a stranger, but to me that was creating a complicated situation without a good enough reason. Adopting donor embryos is finding a home for a life that’s already begun. It’s not the same thing as on purpose creating life with no genetic ties to the parents. I’m not saying that can’t be a valid option for some people, but it’s not an option for us (nor is it necessary, since we have at our disposal my eggs, if we decide to use them).

I haven’t looked into ds in depth, so I don’t know how much ds itself would run, aside from the cost of the iui and monitoring… but I can’t imagine it being more than what we’re paying for the FET… then again, I couldn’t believe that we would be paying nearly the same for the donor FET at our local clinic as we would for a full IVF. I guess the ER and ET are not the only costly things. I hadn’t factored in how expensive monitoring can be.

What’s funny is that it can vary how much different clinics charge per blood draw or sonogram. Some, it seems, try and do get away with highway robbery. Why would a sono cost $50 in one place, but $450 in another? Do pray tell… but I digress. Now I know that it’s the monitoring that gets you, and if you’re doing a medicated cycle, you also have the meds, so you only really save on the cost of the actual ER.

Anyway… back to dsiui, I’ve seen quotes for some folks about $600 per cycle, so that’s what I’m going off. Even if it were $1K per cycle, that’d give me 5 tries for the cost of one FET try (and that’s only at my current embie’s clinic. My local clinic charges way more for FET.)


Karolina, have you ever considered home insemination with ds? That would be the least expensive option. DH and I have talked in depth about trying that if our next cycle of IVF doesn’t work. He is just tired of being sliced and diced. From what I have read, a vial of ds can cost anywhere from $150 to $500. I get the feeling from your other posts that you are wanting to do as natural a cycle as possible (i.e. no unnecessary meds or monitoring) so with home insemination, you could go that route. Just a thought.


musicgal, that’s exactly what I was thinking, at-home iui if it comes to that. Thanks for pointing out that even when there’s sperm, it may come to using ds for various reasons.


I used DE/DS because my husband is a cancer survivor & his sperm quality was in question. We also went with DE because I was 43 at the time and the chances with my own eggs were about 15% while with DE it was more like 75%. It was purely an odds play. I have been very happy with our decision because in our situation, our left over embryos will be able to be donated to other couples eventually. With our own eggs/sperm, we would have had difficulty matching with someone. I have a family with addiction issues, mental illness, and heart disease. In fact, we are adopting relatives whose parents are not able to take care of them. My husband is a cancer survivor. We are a genetic minefield although our own bio kids are beautiful and healthy. Since we used DE/DS, none of these issues are present.

Our DS cost about $300. We had many donors to choose from-our donor looks like my brother! Its amazing how much my babies look like me between the epigenetics of my body putting them together and the sperm donor looking so much like me. I would think the IUI with DS would be very affordable for you.

I tried to adopt before turning to DE/DS and it fell through after two weeks in our home. It was devastating & I couldn’t face another adoption disappointment. (We also had two foster children go home.) In a twist of fate, the baby we tried to adopt and her brother are the children we are now adopting. I would have never gone to try to have my own baby if the adoption had not failed. For some reason, God wanted my twins Daniel and Reagan to be born…


Okay, i was wondering if people actually did that. Can you get frozen sperm just shipped to your house like that??? I had certainly thought about that before and wondering if it would work considering i am not a doctor and all. But really… how hard can it be… thaw it out with proper thawing proceedures and shoot it up there and they should know where to go from there right???

At our local RE clinic it would be about 3-4K for an IUI cycle. + meds if we did a medicated cycle. So, at least 5K for one IUI which is crazy expensive IMO.

to the OP- We will probably have to use DE if we want to have another if we dont find embies. I dont have a problem with it because genetics does not matter for us. What does matter is having a baby… and if DE or DS is how we achieve that, then thats fine. our family having one bio and one adopted is diverse already, so adding a DE/DS wont be an issue for us. But everyone is different and do what you think it going to be the best for YOU!!!

By the way, im soooo sorry it didnt work out with the first 2 embies. There is still hope for the last 2. God bless, Rach


rd200- if you google ‘home insemination’ there are even how-to instructions. I did read that it is possible, albeit a little more difficult, to have frozen sperm shipped directly to your house. In our case we would be using a known donor. My DH is very open to ds and the more we consider the cost savings, the more attractive it becomes. I know there are some ladies on the forum that have been successful with home insemination.

Good luck to all!