Ever think of giving up???


#1

My husband and I have been ttc for 5 years now. More and more of my friends and family are coming up pregnant. I am happy for them but sometimes wonder what is wrong with me??? What is it about me and my husband that we can’t conceive?

I went into denial for a while, saying that I didn’t want a baby. I actually tried to convince myself that it wasn’t what I wanted. I know it’s not true and that I want to have a baby more than anything. I just wasn’t prepared for this challenge.

Does anyone get annoyed when they see shows like “16 and pregnant” and “teen moms”? It makes me so upset because these kids that are unprepared get pregnant without trying and we’ve been trying for so many years.

I don’t want to be a person who is not happy for others when they get pregnant. I want to be excited for my friends. I pretended to be excited for my sister when she got pregnant. I pretended because deep down I was ashamed of myself for not being excited for her.

Anyway I’m just hoping someone out there can relate? I think of giving up on ttc because this challenge has been so depressing. I just don’t know that I can give up.

:flower: LS


#2

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way! :grouphug: Infertility is such a hard thing. The hardest part is the not knowing if and when it will ever happen. I haven’t been ttc as long as you, but it’s been a while and I’ve had the same feelings. I can definitely relate! My brother’s fiance got pregnant on accident like only 3 months after they met. Yes, that’s right. They met, got engaged and got pregnant in 3 months. My DH and I have been together for almost 12 years and have been trying for a year and a half and nothing. It is completely normal to have those feelings of jealousy, anger, sadness, frustration, etc. Of course you want to be happy for them, but it takes everything you’ve got not to break down when they talk about it or are planning for the arrival. Just remember that any feelings you have during this process are completely ok. Don’t feel guilty about having feelings. And as for whether or not to give up, only you can decide when you’ve had enough. If you are not ready to give up, then you’ll make it through and will continue on your journey in this way. If you decide you’ve had enough, you may have to find a different path to motherhood. While this is very difficult, it will be resolved one way or another. You won’t be dealing with this forever because, someday, somehow, you will be a mother if that is the path you choose. Know you are not alone and you can share your feelings anytime because I’m sure lots of women on these boards feel the same way. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get your bfp soon!


#3

I know exactly how you feel!! I’ve only been ttc for 2 years and in that time I have had 6 friends get pregnant! I too want to be happy for everyone and the first 2 or 3 I was. Now I find myself becoming bitter towards people that can get pregnant with little effort at all!! I don’t want to be that person. I am obsessed with 16 & PG and Teen Mom. I have watched TLC all day and cried on every “baby” show that has come on. I can’t make myself change it!

I feel so ready for the next stage of life. I love my husband so much and I want to be able to experience a child with him!! Sometimes I have to go out on the back porch and AHHHHHHHHHH!!! :grr:


#4

Oh yeah!! I’ve definitely had those thoughts!! It’s been 7 years this month that we’ve been ttc and over that time period, I’ve thought more than once about giving up. After a couple years of ttc, I too tried to convince myself that I didn’t want kids. I lashed out by doubting my marriage and things were pretty miserable for awhile. I figured things out a little for myself and learned that I love my DH more than anything and that my marriage was having problems because of me and my not wanting to accept our IF issues. After working past that we went onto adopt. I am so happy that we did yet it didn’t fully take away all the IF pain. We’re now at the point where we desperately want to give our DS a brother or sister and I’d still love to experience pregnancy. I’ve become almost obsessed with IF and trying to get pregnant and also watch all those reality shows like teen mom or TLC shows. I’ve definitely become bitter about it all and always cringe when I hear of someone else getting pregnant. You’d think by now I’d be used to it but I guess for many years I really thought my time would come but now that we’ve hit the 7 year mark without ever seeing even a positive test, it makes me feel like it really may never happen. I keep wondering when we should officially give up as well. I’m not sure I can and if it comes to that point I’ve already said that I will need to seek help from a therapist. We’re hoping to try IVF soon but finances are making that difficult so we may only get one shot.
IF is definitely something very unfair and completely sucks. I wish I had more encouraging advice but I just wanted you to know I can relate to all your feelings.