Feeling beaten down by ivf today


I’ve been a long time lurker. My first cycle was in dec, ended in a chemical pregnancy. We tried our second cycle in april and got a BFP. Good betas, 176 and 474. Just had our first u/s yesterday and saw a heartbeat but baby is measuring a week behind. Dr. couldn’t give us an answer about which way he thought it would end up. We have to get another u/s in 10 days. I’m so heartbroken. I know I should still believe in the whole process. I’m just so sick of not hearing/getting positive, uplifting news. For once in this process I just wanted to hear good news. Tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary and all I can think about is how mad/sad I am that I don’t just get to enjoy a carefree pregnancy like those not going through ivf. Any words of wisdom out there? Definitely need some right now.


Tabbytown- I know you must be heartbroken and angry, sad and mad at the same time, but you MUST not lose hope. You have to keep your chin up and keep your thoughts positive… you worked so hard to get to this point. Try to take a deep breath and pray to the good Lord for your precious child inside. Think back to how happy you were when you got your beta back, doctors don’t always have the answers we want and sometimes they are wrong. Don’t read into it one way or the other just enjoy this time in the moment. Everything will work out, you have to keep positive. I will :pray: for you.


I have no words of wisdom, but I wanted to say something. You aren’t alone. Hang in there.



I’m sorry you are feeling so beaten up… we all have.
This journey is such a rollercoaster- about everything… news, emotions, challenges… Its hard. I’m trying to learn to live in the moment and enjoy the highs… like seeing that heartbeat- enjoy that… don’t let IVF take that joy away from you… none of us know what tomorrow will bring but we sure can enjoy what we have overcome and how far we have gotten…
I know its hard- we are worriers and worst case scenario people… but I also know a lot of women on here would love to even see a heartbeat… so enjoy that milestone and enjoy your anniversary… both are awesome and fun!!!
:babydust: :babydust: :babydust:


Keep your chin up!

I know it’s hard right now but keep your chin up. Yes, this if journey is hell and not for the weak. This early it’s hard to get a good measurement as it 1 mm a day. If the baby was just turned wrong its hard. The hb is a good indication. I pray all will be well in 10 days when you go back!


Hoping the best for you! Every step of the process is hard. Hang on and chin up!


So sorry. I’m going through something similar. Each ultrasound has given us good news vs bad news and it is very frustrating. First the heartbeat was slow and then the heartbeat was good but almost no growth. If there isn’t a big jump in growth this week, I think our journey will most likely be over. I don’t think my DH understands that though.


This is the “sucky” thing about infertility and IVF, we can never relax - it doesn’t matter how far along one is; we all know “failure” all too well and it is hard to expect success. How far along were you at the time of your ultrasound? If you are seeing a HB at 6 weeks, then that is a great sign; a tiny difference in measurement at this stage changes the dating dramatically. No doctor can predict the outcome this early unless very clear cut, so I think that it is a good sign that your doctor still thinks that it can go either way. And as hard as it is to accept, at this point with a HB if it doesn’t survive, then it is highly likely due to a genetic problem. I think that there is a still a good chance! :pray: :cross:


Our 18 week IVF baby has consistently measured 5 days behind and all of my doctors have said anything within a week is fine. (S)he may just be a late implanter! Please keep the faith and I hope that your next ultrasound shows good incremental growth. I also second what someone else said about it being very difficult to get good measurements. Seeing the heart beat is good news!