Well I just had my second IUI last week. My consultant said I should have two inseminations as things were looking good…but sadly I am getting all the signs that I’m going to end up with AF rather than a baby. I’ve been feeling so low about it the past few days and it’s rubbing off on my partner. Since he doesn’t want kids and I am doing this alone (albeit with him still in my life) I can’t feel I can talk to him about it, but all that’s happened is I’ve deflected my disappointment and unhappiness on something else so I appear to be getting uptight about things that really don’t matter. So I apologized to him (on the phone) tonight and said it wasn’t the route cause and he said he thought as much and should we have a chat about things. I can’t bear to lose him again but I can’t always control how I feel when I so badly want to be a parent.
I love him so much and want him in my life but I have to somehow find an outlet for how down I’m feeling - I don’t think anyone who isn’t going through this can really understand - especially those with kids already!
Not really sure what the point of this post is - I guess just asking for some understanding from others. It really helps me to feel that I am not alone in my feelings.