Feeling the strain


#1

Well I just had my second IUI last week. My consultant said I should have two inseminations as things were looking good…but sadly I am getting all the signs that I’m going to end up with AF rather than a baby. I’ve been feeling so low about it the past few days and it’s rubbing off on my partner. Since he doesn’t want kids and I am doing this alone (albeit with him still in my life) I can’t feel I can talk to him about it, but all that’s happened is I’ve deflected my disappointment and unhappiness on something else so I appear to be getting uptight about things that really don’t matter. So I apologized to him (on the phone) tonight and said it wasn’t the route cause and he said he thought as much and should we have a chat about things. I can’t bear to lose him again but I can’t always control how I feel when I so badly want to be a parent. :frowning:

I love him so much and want him in my life but I have to somehow find an outlet for how down I’m feeling - I don’t think anyone who isn’t going through this can really understand - especially those with kids already!

Not really sure what the point of this post is - I guess just asking for some understanding from others. It really helps me to feel that I am not alone in my feelings.


#2

[QUOTE=SoloGirl]Well I just had my second IUI last week. My consultant said I should have two inseminations as things were looking good…but sadly I am getting all the signs that I’m going to end up with AF rather than a baby. I’ve been feeling so low about it the past few days and it’s rubbing off on my partner. Since he doesn’t want kids and I am doing this alone (albeit with him still in my life) I can’t feel I can talk to him about it, but all that’s happened is I’ve deflected my disappointment and unhappiness on something else so I appear to be getting uptight about things that really don’t matter. So I apologized to him (on the phone) tonight and said it wasn’t the route cause and he said he thought as much and should we have a chat about things. I can’t bear to lose him again but I can’t always control how I feel when I so badly want to be a parent. :frowning:

I love him so much and want him in my life but I have to somehow find an outlet for how down I’m feeling - I don’t think anyone who isn’t going through this can really understand - especially those with kids already!

Not really sure what the point of this post is - I guess just asking for some understanding from others. It really helps me to feel that I am not alone in my feelings.[/QUOTE]

Hi SoloGirl, I am not exactly in the same shoes as you, but I think very similar. I just turned 41 last month. I have a 12 years old son from previous marriage, has been divorced for almost 10 years now. Over the last 3 years I had been in a relationship, he is 42, has 2 kids, does not want anymore and I do. We have been off and on in the relationship for 3 years and I broke up with him few months ago for good as it became more stressful to see him than not to see him. The relationship issue we have is also to do with his daughter not wanting him to be with any woman and him not wanting to commit because of that. It is hard to go through pregnancy and relationship at our age, let alone by yourself. I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is devastating to see BFN. Recently, I have seen RE and had my first iui last month. Next one, I would be doing in January. I feel lonely in going through with this but I do want my son to have a sibling especially that he desires so much. You can PM me if you would want. I am not good in writing and find it hard to express by writing. lol.
Hope you get :bfp: :babydust: to you!

Farah


#3

[quote=SoloGirl]Well I just had my second IUI last week. My consultant said I should have two inseminations as things were looking good…but sadly I am getting all the signs that I’m going to end up with AF rather than a baby. I’ve been feeling so low about it the past few days and it’s rubbing off on my partner. Since he doesn’t want kids and I am doing this alone (albeit with him still in my life) I can’t feel I can talk to him about it, but all that’s happened is I’ve deflected my disappointment and unhappiness on something else so I appear to be getting uptight about things that really don’t matter. So I apologized to him (on the phone) tonight and said it wasn’t the route cause and he said he thought as much and should we have a chat about things. I can’t bear to lose him again but I can’t always control how I feel when I so badly want to be a parent. :frowning:

I love him so much and want him in my life but I have to somehow find an outlet for how down I’m feeling - I don’t think anyone who isn’t going through this can really understand - especially those with kids already!

Not really sure what the point of this post is - I guess just asking for some understanding from others. It really helps me to feel that I am not alone in my feelings.[/quote]

I am so sorry you are doing this alone. I hope your partner understands why you have been acting that way.


#4

I wish to help prepare men / husbands for how they may be left feeling after IVF as I wasn’t prepared for how I was left feeling afterwards. If I’d have been told how it may have affected me, I probably would have prepared better and asked more questions beforehand. IVF is about creation of a new-live, therefore about ‘both’ partners, not just the woman, we are not talking about a mere PAP smear test here.

Cross-gender exams, or any other professional service that involves the exposure and touch of intimate body parts (those covered by underwear) can potentially cause devastating damage to those people involved. I realise that some people have no problems with it, but I’ll never understand those people from now on. We will always request a female doctor from now on.