Thank you everyone for your responses. Today is the year anniversary of when I first started spotting and was told there was no heart beat. Tomorrow is the D&C anniversary.
I’m sitting at work right now trying to not focus on it. Each month that goes by, I think about how old that child would be and how different my life would be. Last month after 7 months of NaPro Technology, we were able to conceive on our own for the first time. It ended up being a chemical pregnancy. I still can’t register that I’ve had 2 miscarriages in one year or the fact that it’s been a year, and I’m still not pregnant.
On top of all of this, we lost 6 family members throughout the year. This has been the most challenging time I’ve ever had to experience. I’m thankful that my husband has been so supportive throughout this time, but it’s hard for him to understand the depth at which my emotions go.
I feel like I’ve grieved and am now trying to carry on with my life, but I worry I won’t be able to carry a child. Our doctor is adamant that I will be able to, but deep down I have this awful feeling that I won’t. That last couple of weeks I’ve been focusing on me, and my health. Trying to work out again and start eating better. Hoping the stress of this year will start to melt away.
What are you all doing to deal with the losses? My heart goes out to all of you, holidays are not going to be easy. Know you are not alone.