First miscarriage anniversary


#1

This Friday marks one year from the day we lost our first child. I’m trying to figure out all these mixed emotions having to deal with the holidays. Besides the fact that we just had a chemical pregnancy last week as well. I sometimes worry I’m going to lose my mind, while others I feel like nothings happened.

How do you deal with this kind of anniversary right before Christmas?! I’m so worried I’m going to break down and sob all weekend. To the point where we didn’t even get a tree this year.

Help!


#2

Be sad for your anniversary. It is a sad time, I have had multiple miscarriages and you always remember especially on the important dates. We planted a tree for our last miscarriage and I remember him/her in prayer.

It does get better especially as you start to get some positive experiences in your life, but even if it gets easier to deal with you don’t forget. It is a death and it is ok to remember them and to grieve no matter how many years pass.

I always have reminders of how old they would be. My last miscarriage the baby would have been born in November so I would have a newborn right now… But I like to think that things happen for a reason so I hold on to that. Best of luck and Merry Christmas!


#3

I’m so sorry you’re suffering this christmas, and if you have to cry all weekend it’s ok. It’s ok you didn’t get a tree, and it’s ok to do whatever you have to do to get through the anniversary. Sometimes we just need to know that!

I have and angel on my tree for the baby we just lost. I know you don’t have a tree, but maybe an angel to hang in your house somewhere to watch over you? I’m finding this helpful to get through it.

:grouphug:


#4

I am so sorry you are going through this. My baby daughter Elanore Marie shoud have been born right around Thanksgiving, I should be holding her in my arms right now. I imagined how Christmas would be this year with my new baby and I am crying right now typing this. I am still so angry after months of counseling. I was a total disaster throughout Thanksgiving and I have no one who really understands. I dont think this pain will ever end and I just want to be pregnant again so I have hope in my heart not dispair. I dont mean to bring you down but you are not alone. I just try and take it second by second, indulge myself when needed and cry because I have to let this out, let this go, as much as it hurts. i do believe that there is some reason this happened though I dont understand it. I like to think it has increased my compassion for others and stretched my heart so deep and wide and perhaps will eventually make room for more love to fill these now empty spaces. I will keep you in my thoughts. You will get through this time and life will bring joy again. :grouphug:


#5

Thank you

Thank you everyone for your responses. Today is the year anniversary of when I first started spotting and was told there was no heart beat. Tomorrow is the D&C anniversary.

I’m sitting at work right now trying to not focus on it. Each month that goes by, I think about how old that child would be and how different my life would be. Last month after 7 months of NaPro Technology, we were able to conceive on our own for the first time. It ended up being a chemical pregnancy. I still can’t register that I’ve had 2 miscarriages in one year or the fact that it’s been a year, and I’m still not pregnant.

On top of all of this, we lost 6 family members throughout the year. This has been the most challenging time I’ve ever had to experience. I’m thankful that my husband has been so supportive throughout this time, but it’s hard for him to understand the depth at which my emotions go.

I feel like I’ve grieved and am now trying to carry on with my life, but I worry I won’t be able to carry a child. Our doctor is adamant that I will be able to, but deep down I have this awful feeling that I won’t. That last couple of weeks I’ve been focusing on me, and my health. Trying to work out again and start eating better. Hoping the stress of this year will start to melt away.

What are you all doing to deal with the losses? My heart goes out to all of you, holidays are not going to be easy. Know you are not alone.