First time ivf


Hey everyone. It’s my first time trying ivf. I tried going on another board, but they were way ahead of me. I have an appointment with one doctor on Tuesday. He had a seminar that gave out free consultations. I got one. His stats look pretty good, and his reviews are good. But I’m still not even sure what I’m looking for in a doctor. One of my friends did ivf and she became pregnant her first time with another doctor. I set up a consultation with her, but the first she can see me is August 22nd. My friend had a lot of issues becoming pregnant including over matured eggs and endometriosis. Her doctor has pretty good stats as well. I’m just not sure what to look for or expect. I just wish I could get pregnant today and it would be a nice surprise.

A little about me, I was married for 9 years to an abusive man. I had 2 kids and 2 miscarriages with him. Decided I didn’t want to bring any more kids into the already bad relationship so I had my tubes tied. Low and behold I became pregnant after my tubal ligation and gave birth at 33 weeks to my amazing determined daughter. I had my tubes tied a second time and basically destroyed.

A year later I stood up on my own two feet and took my kids away from the pain and fear. Since then I have married my Prince Charming. He has of course taken my kids in and is in the process of adopting them, but we would like to have a miracle together. So ivf has become our only option.

As much research as I have done I should be able to write a book, but i still feel clueless.
Any help would be appreciated. Or buddies that are first timers soon.


I am not doing IVF yet, but will be in a couple of months if my IUIs don’t work. I have one more day in my 2ww with my 2nd IUI but I know that it didn’t work, I can just feel it. I have lost hope that the 3rd one will work so have started planning for IVF after the 3rd IUI.
It is hard to know what we are looking for in a dr, I guess we just want them to make this pregnancy happen and that’s all. I don’t really have many options where I live, but the one we have has great stats and seems ok. They are very professional and caring and I feel that they personalise the treatment etc so I guess so far we are happy except that I’m not pregnant yet.
I keep losing faith that this will happen. My DH keeps promising me that we will hold that baby in our arms.
Good luck with your journey and chosing your RE. I think with your situations you have pretty good odds as you don’t have medical issues, just the tied tubes that can easily be bypassed. :bsv:


Yay, a response

My friend was in the same situation as you with the failed IUIs but she got pregnant with her first IVF. Hopefully that’s what it takes with you. I know the monetary road is a journey, but I thnk it’s worth it. I was once told that infertility doctors are solicitors of hope, but I pray that you will hold your baby soon.
Thank you. I will let you know what happens Tuesday. Keep me updated on your current IUI and dreadful 2ww.


I agree with My11:11wish - stats for RE is key…beside manner is secondary, but you do want to feel comfortable with them as you will be in and out of their office daily at one point.
After 3 failied IUI’s - 1 chemical IVF - TONS of testing - we are finally within arms reach of meeting our DD.

My advice…take it one day at a time, yes just like AA. You will have good days, you will have bad days, you will have days where you want to scream/cry/laugh all together…do it! Don’t hold anything in, jump on this site and talk to everyone on here. They will become your biggest cheerleaders/support system - even if you have the most amazing friends/family, they will never truly understand what you are feeling/going through.

Wishing you all the very best!


I agree that you should look for an RE with great stats. Good bedside manner, while nice, has really nothing to do with whether or not you will get pregnant. I would also make sure that the clinic does not cherry pick there patients to get there great stats. I did a lot of internet research and googling “cherry picking patients” with my various clinics in order to determine which ones cherry picked. If they cherry pick there patients, they are artifically altering their great stats.



So I looked on CDC and tried to figure out stats. We are basically down to making a decision between two anyhow. I have an appointment with both of them, but how do I figure out if either of them are cherry picking?

Also, when the time gets close do they tell me which days I need to be available for ER? And after ET I read that you need to stay lying down for 2 hours. Can you drive home after?

I’m seeing one doctor tomorrow and I have a small list of questions. Anything in specific I should ask?

Thank you girls for all your help. I am so clueless!


I will also likely be starting IVF shortly. We have MFI, so we don’t have the option of IUIs. I have my first consult on Wednesday (yes 2 days from now :o )


Ok now

What’s MFI? Good luck. I’m anxious about tomorrow. Good luck Wednesday. Let me know how it goes.


MFI=Male Factor Infertility-Low count, morphology and motility.


[quote=Kimykantalope]So I looked on CDC and tried to figure out stats. We are basically down to making a decision between two anyhow. I have an appointment with both of them, but how do I figure out if either of them are cherry picking?

Also, when the time gets close do they tell me which days I need to be available for ER? And after ET I read that you need to stay lying down for 2 hours. Can you drive home after?

I’m seeing one doctor tomorrow and I have a small list of questions. Anything in specific I should ask?

Thank you girls for all your help. I am so clueless![/quote]

I would just google the name of each clinic and also type in cherry-picking to see if anything comes up. I woudl also type in DOR and high FSH and the clinics name, not b/c this is your issue, but b/c I think this is where you tend to see a lot of cherry picking of patients. I would also just google the clinics name and read every single review anyone has written on them. You can also search the clinic on this forum.



Well, we have chosen a doctor for sure and not because my appointment went well. I had gone to a seminar and heard this doctor say that he would give me a free second opinion consultation. So I made the appointment for today. My friend comes with me because my husband is at work. When we get there the lady asks me for my insurance card, so I give it to her. I sit down and start signing privacy forms and what not. Well, when she gives me my insurance card back she says that it would be a copay of $174! I’m confused, isn’t it supposed to be a free consultation to just TALK to the doctor? So then she tells me that only patients without insurance get free consultations. Everyone else is responsible for the copay. So I told her never mind and we left.
I emailed the other doctors office as soon as I got home and they emailed me almost immediately. She told me that we can get some pre treatment testing like the semen analysis out of the way so that we don’t have as many hoops to jump through once we are established patients. She was super nice and understanding so yay on the bedside manner! Lets hope they have the ability to get us pregnant to!

I guess everything happens for a reason. How is everyone else doing? Any news? Thank you all for your input


welcome to the boards :smiley:

I had to respond to your first post as it rang a bell in my own personal life. I too was married to an abusive husband the first time around. I had my tubes tied when I gave birth to my daughter 11 years ago.

I was going to say but you already posted it… don’t even put your tubes together. Ours was a 10k mistake to try and repair them.

I am not sure what area in the country you are but do your homework. I’d look up every RE in your area and even a longer drive if necessary. I just went with an RE who took my insurance and who was recommended to me…it did not work out so well. My new RE I did my homework and I didn’t even care if my insurance didn’t cover it (it didn’t).

Good luck and let us know how everything goes!




Thank you for your reply. Nice to know there are others out there. I’m glad you found a great husband now.

I was excited when I was told my tubal could be reversed, but then I started researching and got a second opinion. That doctor was a wonderful man with horrible news. He actually showed me in my medical records why it would not work, records that the doctors who said it would be no problem also had.

I figured out that most of this is just a rip off and that is so sad. There are so many people who put so much hope and money into bringing home a baby, and the doctors use that to their wallets advantage.


Sorry to hear that your appointment today was a no go. I’ll let you know how mine goes tomorrow. My insurance doesn’t pay for it so it will be lots of $$$$. Hopefully we will know a lot more and find out when we can start everything…


I wouldn’t have minded if I would have had to pay, but it’s the principle. If I signed up for a free second opinion it should be free… But it just showed me that I didn’t want to go. To them anyhow.

Good luck tomorrow!


I agree that if they said it would be free, it should be free. Sadly, while I have insurance, it doesn’t cover anything related to infertility. The clinic gets my insurance card, but treats me like I don’t have nay insurance. It is a strange mix…


[FONT=‘Verdana’,‘sans-serif’]It’s really difficult to find a doctor that you can trust and believe will do what is best for you. My husband and I have been TTC for 4 years and the first RE I went to was recommended to me by a few of my doctor friends. Based on my gut I didn’t really “jive” with her or the way she did things but I stuck with it because of the recommendations. Well fast forward 4 years with 5 natural cycles on clomid and 2 IUI’s with letrozole…[/font]
[FONT=‘Verdana’,‘sans-serif’]I am now with another RE after much research online. what I looked for number 1, was experience. Having been doing this for more than 30 years, I felt that I could trust that his expertise wasn’t just based on textbook scenarios. My first consult with him confirmed that I had found the right RE for me. He was empathetic, realistic and patient. Most importantly I felt like he could lead me down the right path. This first consult was $130 but I expected it as my insurance covers practically nothing for infertility. [/font][FONT=‘Verdana’,‘sans-serif’][/font]
[FONT=‘Verdana’,‘sans-serif’]Hubby and I are at the beginning of our IVF journey now and are very excited but like most everyone, am extremely stressed out by the financials of it all. This last weekend I received an explanation of benefits from my insurance provider stating I owed $7000 for 2 genetic lab tests I took as part of my pre-ivf blood panel. I cried. literally. Well, it turns out after talking to my doctor’s office yesterday, that I only owed $25 because they had a special agreement with the lab. Talk about relief! Despite all the stress, I am very excited about IVF though! I have a good feeling about this year…! :cheer:
Me = 34, DH = 35, unexplained infertility, never been pregnant.


I was told my consult will cost between $1500 to $2000. I know they will do an ultrasound and some other testing as well. Any lab work will be separate as this is a satellite center that doesn’t have it’s own lab.
I also know they require a series of tests before they will allow you to be part of the ivf program (HIV, Rubella, etc) that I will need to have done ( :cross: that my insurance will cover those at least). Moving in the middle of the process has not helped anything…:grr:


The clinic i am going to next month said that it would cost me about $230 for the consultation, so I expect it and I’m good with it. Then I got a notice that it is a full ultrasound, but that’s part of the price. Nice! I have been emailing the office all day and the office billing manager is going to try to get as much as she can covered by our insurance before we even have the consultation. They are going to let us know what labs we need done ahead of time so our PCP can do them. She also had my husbands PCP order a semen analysis so that at least some of it is covered… I’m almost afraid that this all sounds too good to be true so far. I started by just emailing her my experience at the other clinic this morning.
I have a month now to think of any additional questions.

Why would it cost over $1000 for a consultation? I think your getting ripped off!


That includes the ultrasound fees and a host of other testing that they will do. The appointment will last 1.5 to 2 hours. They better not ask for another SA or I will scream as we have had 4 done, one by their MF specialist…
This is the is make sure everything is fine with me for cycle 1 of IVF, so all the baselines to get started… They are the only clinic within any range of us, 30 mins to get to the satellite office, 1 and a half hours to the main office. I think the cost may be slightly less because normally the SA is part of the first visit cost.