This is my first time posting on an fertility forum, but I have been looking at them for the past year. DH and I have been TTC for 19 months now, and I just got a BFN yet again this morning. We have been going to an RE since April, and have been doing IUI for the past three months. I’ll be 33 in three weeks. RE says our infertility is unexplained. Everything seems to be in order, other than the fact that I can’t conceive after 19 months of trying.
I’ve been pushed over the edge this weekend, when my husband’s brother informed us that he and his wife are pregnant. Just back in September, sister-in-law and I had a heart to heart about my struggles ttc. She never mentioned that she was ttc, and in fact, told me that she wasn’t ready to have kids yet and planned on waiting for another year or two. Apparently instead, she went off birthcontrol the next month, and got a BFP three weeks later. My other sister-in-law just had a girl back in May, and now, we are the only couple in the family who haven’t conceived, and we’ve been trying longer than anyone (sister-in-law who just gave birth only tried for two months before BFP). We are also the oldest couple in the family.
When first sister-in-law told me she was pregnant it fueled our fire and made DH and I try harder and make an appointment with RE. But now, with the most recent news, I feel disheartened. I feel like the flood gates have opened, I have been more weepy and depressed in the last two days than in the whole time that we have been ttc. I feel as though it is never going to happen for us, that we’re not meant to. I know couples have gone on much longer journeys than ours, but I also know that we are in a minority of couples who ever reach this point in ttc. I’m normally an optimistic person, but this weekend, my optimism has about run out, and getting the BFN and reddish spotting this morning, meaning AF is on her way later today or tomorrow doesn’t help.
Some guidance here on how to get through Thanksgiving - where not only will DH and I be missing our next opportunity TTC (because traveling out of town for the holiday), but for 24-7 for five days will also be around both sister-in-laws and beaming parents-in-law of one grandchild and about to be two?
Feeling low, and feeling guilty for being so upset about others’ pregnancies. I know I should be happy for them and should celebrate for them, but the pain I’m feeling is just so devestating at this point. Plan on going to counseling, but feel like might be more helpful, or just as helpful, to start communicating with others who are experiencing the same types of feelings and frustrations. People who haven’t been there simply don’t understand the feeling.