I agree with everyone else. If your paying for this out of pocket, you are really limiting yourself and setting yourself up to have to do it again to get your baby if you ask your doctor to only take 4 eggs.
Not all eggs are mature when retreived. There is no way to know this when they are taken out of you.
Not all mature eggs fertilize - they say on average about 60% of mature eggs will fertilize.
Normally you lose about another 50% of your eggs between fertilization and transfer - depending on how good your egg quality is - and that is not a factor you can know before going through this. Additionally, your DH’s sperm may not be good either, and have no way of knowing until you see them in action so to speak.
So if you start with only 4, your really setting yourself up to not have ANY to transfer.
I have been on this board for 6 months and I agree with Essemkay, very few women end up with frosties. Those that do typically have PCOS or are much younger.
The likelihood of you having any is pretty slim given your AMH and age.
Also, you need to remember based on your age, only 29% of those embroys that make it to day 5 blast stage are going to be chromosonally normal and able to create a healthy baby. If one of those abnormal ones take, you have about a 90% chance of having a misscarriage.
So as you can see many of us have spent many many thousands of dollars and can tell you the likelihood of you having frosties is very slim.
I am not trying to sound down on your or your DH for your belief that life starts at conception. That was a BIG deal for us too when we started this process about what we were going to do with any extras. However, both me and my DH think we would be able to donate to another couple going through this as its consumed our marriage (another topic for another day)…my point is its not likely to happen.
I guess there are other options too that may be cheaper that you could talk to your clinic about. They are now expermenting with a natural IVF cycle. From what I have read it uses the egg that your body naturally selects each month and they only retrieve that one and then go through the process. Not many clinics are doing this at this time from my understanding. Another option is a mini-ivf which the goal is only to get a few high quality eggs. These are typically cheaper too, but you have to do a FET with these as they use clomid as part of the protocol. Maybe try researching those and talk with your clinic about those options.
Best of luck to you. I understand the pull to have a baby and yet not wanting to have “your” babies out there just not born yet.