Help! How to support wife with breast cancer?


I’m desperately seeking any advice on how to cope with my wife’s breast cancer. I’m doing my best to look strong and calm but it’s very difficult and painful. We wanted a baby so much that we went to Ukraine for surrogacy as it’s legal there and met our requirements. Little did we know that our surrogate would have a miscarriage at 6weeks and my wife would have severe complications after ovarian stimulation. She had breast cancer without knowing it but stimulation made things worse. It’s a stage 3…I’m so distressed and devastated. I also keep in touch with a lawyer trying to find out what are my chances to sue VittoriaVita agency that was that unprofessional treating my love. They didn’t even check her breast before starting IVF! Well, I’m trying to do at least something to make things a little better but not sure I do enough. Ladies, what should I do? How to help her to cope with this? I have so many fears I want to hide…I don’t want to show her I’m scared.


I’m so sorry for your terrible experience with VittoriaVita!! I’ve read some of your posts on the threads and this makes me very sad ‘‘professionals’’ don’t really care about their parients. How could this ever happen the clinic doesn’t want a woman to pass breast ultrasound check ups!! 'Cause it’s vital as in the case with your wife…I’m sorry she had to suffer all this. and it’s really hard to find any soothing words for this. One thing you’re doing extremelly right now is connecting with other couples who’ve been treated badly in VittoriaVita. This way, altogether, you’ll battle the unprofessionalism causing people so much grief!! I’m afraid I cannot be of much help on tips how to support your wife now. You must be strong!! All those weak moments you’re having IN PRIVATE only! Don’t let your wife know you have fear. She must know she has super strong and confident you by side and your strong supportive shoulder she may lean on. I’m sure you’ll find the best way out soon and that your wife will feel better soon. Remember those events must have made you even stronger. I’ll keep you both in my prayers.