My problem is I’m stuck on this idea about naming kids after family members or not. I read one thing a while back on some site where someone was saying, “Either name all your kids after someone or don’t name any of them after someone so the others don’t feel left out.” I didn’t take it particularly to heart at the time, but the reasoning made sense, which is what I think is tying me up. Here’s the background: DD’s name is Ellery Celina, neither of which were taken from anybody’s name in either my family or DH’s; we just liked it. It does happen that her first name is very similar to mine, which didn’t even occur to me until months after she was born. For this baby, it’s a boy, and ever since we talked about boy names when we didn’t know which DD was going to be, Theodore has been near or at the top of our list. I love this name because it’s my dad’s name and it’s a little more appealing to DH than our actual “family” name, which is Valentin (it’s been used as a middle name for many generations now). DH likes Theodore, I like it, it has good connotations, and it’s a nicely traditional but not popular name right now.
So all that being said, I had thought that using DH’s dad’s name as a middle name would be perfect, and they sound great together. DH seemed to like it but maybe not love it, and when he really devoted some thought to middle names, he came up with one that is common in his family and he’s really liking it, but I’m having a bit of a hard time coming around to it. We’ve both come up with other middle names that have nothing to do with family that sound good to our ears as well.
Please help me make a decision on these things!
- Is it fine to name the new baby after family members if our daughter isn’t? (This one’s irritating my OCD sensibilities because, if I’d really thought we were going to name kids after family members, I would’ve come up with a way to make one of her names derive from our moms’ names, which are the same anyway, and name her after both of them at the same time.)
- If we pick a family name for the baby’s first name, should we try to make the middle name family-derived also, or is it okay to just pick a different one? Is it unbalanced for the baby to be named after someone in my family and not someone in DH’s?
- Should we try to come up with a new, non-family first name that maybe is similar to my husband’s name (the way Ellery is to mine)? I looked around for something like that but haven’t found anything so far.
- Why is this bothering me so much???