Help me get over this indecision!


#1

My problem is I’m stuck on this idea about naming kids after family members or not. I read one thing a while back on some site where someone was saying, “Either name all your kids after someone or don’t name any of them after someone so the others don’t feel left out.” I didn’t take it particularly to heart at the time, but the reasoning made sense, which is what I think is tying me up. Here’s the background: DD’s name is Ellery Celina, neither of which were taken from anybody’s name in either my family or DH’s; we just liked it. It does happen that her first name is very similar to mine, which didn’t even occur to me until months after she was born. For this baby, it’s a boy, and ever since we talked about boy names when we didn’t know which DD was going to be, Theodore has been near or at the top of our list. I love this name because it’s my dad’s name and it’s a little more appealing to DH than our actual “family” name, which is Valentin (it’s been used as a middle name for many generations now). DH likes Theodore, I like it, it has good connotations, and it’s a nicely traditional but not popular name right now.

So all that being said, I had thought that using DH’s dad’s name as a middle name would be perfect, and they sound great together. DH seemed to like it but maybe not love it, and when he really devoted some thought to middle names, he came up with one that is common in his family and he’s really liking it, but I’m having a bit of a hard time coming around to it. We’ve both come up with other middle names that have nothing to do with family that sound good to our ears as well.

Please help me make a decision on these things!

  1. Is it fine to name the new baby after family members if our daughter isn’t? (This one’s irritating my OCD sensibilities because, if I’d really thought we were going to name kids after family members, I would’ve come up with a way to make one of her names derive from our moms’ names, which are the same anyway, and name her after both of them at the same time.)
  2. If we pick a family name for the baby’s first name, should we try to make the middle name family-derived also, or is it okay to just pick a different one? Is it unbalanced for the baby to be named after someone in my family and not someone in DH’s?
  3. Should we try to come up with a new, non-family first name that maybe is similar to my husband’s name (the way Ellery is to mine)? I looked around for something like that but haven’t found anything so far.
  4. Why is this bothering me so much???

#2

We kind of ran into this same problem. If I had a daughter she was ALWAYS going to have my grandmother’s name as her middle name. So when we get pregnant with boy/girl twins hers was already written in stone (weather or not my husband liked it). For my son I offered to do two middle names, my DH and my dad’s (since DH is a jr), or even just my DH’s. My DH said no (he doesn’t really care for his name as it is) so we just went with a name we both liked for my son that has no family connection. Actually, my daughter’s first name is a derivative (although unintentional on our part) of my mom’s maiden name. Long story short(er): My daughter has a family name, my son doesn’t. I think it’s fine, just think of all the people that are jrs (or IIIs) who have siblings that aren’t. My SIL has never made any comments about not having a family name eventhough my DH (her brother) does.


#3

Hah, that’s a really good point! My brother is totally named for my dad, first and middle, but then my three sisters don’t have any family names–not their mother, not any grandparents, nobody. Just good, solid names. I’ll keep that more in mind when we think about names, especially since DH says he doesn’t care about who’s named for whom or not. Now it’s just a matter of narrowing down the list that we like! I think it’s harder this time around because I don’t feel like I have as strong a feeling yet about this baby as I did about my daughter before she was born. It’s just different with it being the second one.


#4

Whatever you feel good Because for a mother and father the name of given by them is perfect. SO don’t think so much just give a name to your child it will be the finest name for him/her///
IVF


#5

[QUOTE=“kashiruvana, post: 65825, member: 62210”]My problem is I’m stuck on this idea about naming kids after family members or not. I read one thing a while back on some site where someone was saying, “Either name all your kids after someone or don’t name any of them after someone so the others don’t feel left out.” I didn’t take it particularly to heart at the time, but the reasoning made sense, which is what I think is tying me up. Here’s the background: DD’s name is Ellery Celina, neither of which were taken from anybody’s name in either my family or DH’s; we just liked it. It does happen that her first name is very similar to mine, which didn’t even occur to me until months after she was born. For this baby, it’s a boy, and ever since we talked about boy names when we didn’t know which DD was going to be, Theodore has been near or at the top of our list. I love this name because it’s my dad’s name and it’s a little more appealing to DH than our actual “family” name, which is Valentin (it’s been used as a middle name for many generations now). DH likes Theodore, I like it, it has good connotations, and it’s a nicely traditional but not popular name right now.

So all that being said, I had thought that using DH’s dad’s name as a middle name would be perfect, and they sound great together. DH seemed to like it but maybe not love it, and when he really devoted some thought to middle names, he came up with one that is common in his family and he’s really liking it, but I’m having a bit of a hard time coming around to it. We’ve both come up with other middle names that have nothing to do with family that sound good to our ears as well.

Please help me make a decision on these things!

  1. Is it fine to name the new baby after family members if our daughter isn’t? (This one’s irritating my OCD sensibilities because, if I’d really thought we were going to name kids after family members, I would’ve come up with a way to make one of her names derive from our moms’ names, which are the same anyway, and name her after both of them at the same time.)
  2. If we pick a family name for the baby’s first name, should we try to make the middle name family-derived also, or is it okay to just pick a different one? Is it unbalanced for the baby to be named after someone in my family and not someone in DH’s?
  3. Should we try to come up with a new, non-family first name that maybe is similar to my husband’s name (the way Ellery is to mine)? I looked around for something like that but haven’t found anything so far.
  4. Why is this bothering me so much???[/QUOTE]

Theodore sounds good add Ellen to it works fine for your baby.