How do you cope with BFN?


#1

Hello everyone,
I have never posted anything on here before, but don’t know what else to do. I just found out yesterday that our first round of IVF was a BFN, and I am devastated. I really thought it had worked, and convinced myself I was pregnant, so I was floored when the doctor called yesterday with the bad news. For anyone else out there who has suffered through a BFN, how long did it take you before you felt back to normal? My DH wants to try again in a few months, but I am so scared it won’t work and I will have to go through this again. Any input is appreciated!


#2

[QUOTE=MLEShort]Hello everyone,
I have never posted anything on here before, but don’t know what else to do. I just found out yesterday that our first round of IVF was a BFN, and I am devastated. I really thought it had worked, and convinced myself I was pregnant, so I was floored when the doctor called yesterday with the bad news. For anyone else out there who has suffered through a BFN, how long did it take you before you felt back to normal? My DH wants to try again in a few months, but I am so scared it won’t work and I will have to go through this again. Any input is appreciated![/QUOTE]

I am REALLY sorry to hear about your BFN. :frowning: My heart is broken for you.

I am currently going through my first round of IVF with my beta being this coming Tuesday. Though I’ve yet to get a BFN with IVF, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since 2004. We always make a joke that we’ve had 80 months of disappointments, when really, it’s not that far from the truth. I found a few things helpful when dealing with BFNs- Leaning on each other and others that love you, is a big one. Get the good tears out, the frustrations, what ever it takes. Now, my second one is a bit juvenile. Okay, very juvenile. I always do things, IN EXCESS, that I wouldn’t have been able to do if I were pregnant. I drink a few extra beers with dinner, I sit in the hottest bath I can possibly muster, I go out for sushi, and I go on a nutty little shopping spree for something I’ve wanted, Does this make all the pain go away? NO, not even close. I am not sure there is a magic trick to make it all go away. But do the things that make you feel good. Treat yourself like a princess! Give yourself whatever you need.

Thinking of you. <3


#3

[quote=MLEShort]Hello everyone,
I have never posted anything on here before, but don’t know what else to do. I just found out yesterday that our first round of IVF was a BFN, and I am devastated. I really thought it had worked, and convinced myself I was pregnant, so I was floored when the doctor called yesterday with the bad news. For anyone else out there who has suffered through a BFN, how long did it take you before you felt back to normal? My DH wants to try again in a few months, but I am so scared it won’t work and I will have to go through this again. Any input is appreciated![/quote]
I’m so sorry- I was in your shoes 4 weeks ago or so-
what did I do? Cry for 2 days, drink some wine, and eat food I shouldn’t, then make a new plan. Deciding when I would move on to the next step really helped me, as did our WTF appt. It’s really hard, take care of yourself. I too had psyched myself up- reading into symptoms which were clearly (in hindsight) just caused by the estrogen and progesterone.
I’m really sorry- I know your heart is broken. It’s ok if you need some time to heal, and regroup.


#4

I am really sorry my dear.I feel your lost with all my heart
I know how you feel right now, but you will see,everything will be good.
When we had a negative result I know that I’d cried a lot.After two weeks we start to feel better.
You just need some time,believe me you will hold your baby soon:preg:.Stay positive
vesna

____________________ [FONT=&quot]Me-Vesna(32)-no problem[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Dh-Toni (32)-low sperm count[/FONT]
[B][FONT=&quot]IVF#1[/FONT][/B]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jun,2[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] - blood testB,[/B][/FONT]
[B][FONT=&quot] -[/FONT][/B][FONT=&quot]ultrasound[B](10 antral follicules count)[/B][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] -Start with BCP[/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jun,11[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] – [B]HSN[/B](everything is perfect)[/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]June,22[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot]- start lupron 10 unit[/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,07[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] -blood testB;[/B]lupron 20 units [/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,09[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] -blood test B[/B][/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,10[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] -start stimulation: [B][U]Lupron(5unit), Menopur(75), GonalF(150)[/U][/B][/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,14[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] -blood testB,[/B][/FONT]
[B][FONT=&quot] -[/FONT][/B][FONT=&quot]ultrasound [B][U]day 5[/U][/B] [B](total 10 follies R=2-14; 13; 2-11; 9 L= 2-9; 7; 5)[/B][/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,16[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] -blood testB,[/B][/FONT]
[B][FONT=&quot] -[/FONT][/B][FONT=&quot]ultrasound [B][U]day7[/U][/B] [B](total 10 follies R=2-17; 15; 13; 2-11 L=2-11;2-9)[/B][/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,18[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot] -blood testB,[/B][/FONT]
[B][FONT=&quot] -[/FONT][/B][FONT=&quot]ultrasound [B][U]day 9[/U][/B] [B](total 13 follies R=22; 2-19;18; 16; 15; 14;2-12; 10; 8 ;2-7) [/B] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] - [B][U]9:00 p.m TRIGGER [/U][/B][/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,20[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot]-[B] ER[/B] ,4 EGGS=3(mature),3 ICSI=3 FERTILIZED (100%fertilized)[/FONT]
[U][FONT=&quot]Jul,23[/FONT][/U][FONT=&quot]- [B]ET[/B](transferred 2 eggs ,1 made to blast,but quality is not good enough for freezing),[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Quality before transfer [B][U]ALL 3 EGGS=4 GRADE ,8 CELL:bfn:[/U][/B][/FONT]
[B][U][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][/U][/B]
[B][U]Second ivf[/U][/B] I am :pray: for:bfp:

17 antral follicle count
diluted lupron 20 units twice daily from 11-19-2010
ovarian stimulation Gonal f 450 units,2 days 375 units
11-24 ultrasound
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]


#5

Thank you everyone for the replies and support. I am still upset, but now that it’s had a few days to sink in and the shock has worn off, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. (Though it’s still far away…) I have been spending a lot of time with my DH and drinking a lot of wine… We decided to take a break from everything baby for the winter, and possibly try another cycle in March. We are also going to plan a vacation over the winter. Best of luck to all of you, and Happy Thanksgiving!