I feel for you. My bro and SIL had a baby the same time we would have been having our first. I had to pick my gma up and take her to the hospital, so I couldn’t really get around it. Then, to top it off, she had me stop at Target and shop around for something for the new baby (he was boy #2 and we didn’t have another shower for her b/c she already had everything from the first boy). It was killing me to be wandering around while my 80 year old grandmother couldn’t decide what to buy. Somehow, I made it through the day without losing it. I was excited to have another nephew, and it was fun to see the new big brother. But, it was still hard.
Last night I met my 1mo-old cousin for the first time. She delivered the same day as my last IUI. I’ll be honest, I was probably rude, and I wonder if anyone noticed. I didn’t run to meet them when they came in, didn’t even come in from the deck. I walked past them and paused to look at him on my way to eat while my younger cousin held him. I didn’t ask the new mom how things are going, and didn’t even ask to hold him. I pretty much acted like he wasn’t even there. This time, it was just too hard. And no one but my parents and bro and SIL know we’re having trouble. I’d like to say it gets easier, but every time someone I know announces they’re pregnant (had one this morning already on FB), it ticks me off and makes me jealous!
Just try your best today, but know that we all feel the same way you do. And you are justified in feeling that way. You’ll be so excited to be an aunt, maybe that will overcome the other feelings. I love being an aunt, but every now and then, when I look at the youngest I wonder, what if… :grouphug: