How important is it to have an adult photo of sperm donor?


#1

Hi everyone,
I just started my search with donor banks and, although daunting at first, i am getting more comfortable with the whole thing. I am curious, fairfax cryo is the only one that i found offers adult photos. I am not sure yet gow i feel about purchasing one and see that my choices are limited by doing so. I wanted to ask, how do some of you feel about it? Spis e childhood photo sufficient? Thanks for any input.


#2

I have never used donor, but I personally think that seeing an Adult photo would be very important as it can give you an idea of what your child may look like with age and also tell you how healthy the individual is or maybe what issues your child has in their families. What I mean is that you can usually tell if one is a smoker or drinker for example as they may have yellow in the whites of their eyes, wrinkles around the mouth, or just look older than they actually are. This can be important because addictions can run in families. Though it is difficult to say how much of addiction tendencies have to do with the fact that those are who raised them and so the child was raised in that addictive environment, but still you get the idea.

Also, obesity can point to many underlying health issues too in that often those that are obese can have hypothroid issues or other issues that helped aid in the weight gain itself so…IDK what type of info on the individual they give you even without the photo, but I personally would find the photo very important in making my decision because I would want to see a person that appears to be in good health and that appears to be smart and successful. Some may find this discriminatory, but I think as a potential parent you need to be because you need to make a decision that will be the best potential fit for your family. I might would also want to see photo’s of that person’s children if they have any and photos of their siblings since families can look and be so different too.

I am one of 5 siblings, for example, and though both of my parents have dark colored hair only two of us have dark hair too. My brother and two other sisters have light colored hair and eyes. So if you looked at me then it would appear your child might have dark hair and eyes, but out of my three children only two of mine have dark hair and eyes and the other one is blond with blue eyes so…

IDK–to me the more info and pics you can get the better.


#3

We had to use a donor and we didn’t see a single picture of any time in their life, not child, baby or adult. I’m pretty sure our bank didn’t have adult pictures anyway. Sounds liek a privacy issue, unless they are open donors I guess.
We sent pictures of my DH to the bank and had them pick someone who they thought matched.

But I see no reason why it would be important to see a picture of a donor. Your children could look like you or anyone in your family.


#4

Thanks ahnny. I can always count on you to give me counsel in my time of need. I agree with everything you have pointed out. I am just a little concerned about theeffect of seeing the donor may have on me. I have read some books where women are cautioned about idealizing or becoming obsessed with the donor that has given them such a gift.this does not apply as much to married women as it would to single ones like myself . Although i am in a relationship, i am not sure that we will be together in the future. Regardless, i think i am following your advice.

Thanks again for the input and good luck with your munchkin!!


#5

We are using donor sperm and went with a bank that offered childhood pictures and a silhouette as an adult that were avail at no charge. When we archive prego with DS we plan on purchasing adult pics of our donor because we plan to be open with our child about their conception and he/she might want to see them in the future. We did not go with an ID option so there will be no contact but a pic would be nice to have just in case.


#6

Never saw any pictures of our donor and never wanted to. I realize that might sound a bit crazy but it was incredibly important to us that we wouldn’t always look at our children and see the donor staring back at us. Not that we aren’t grateful to our donor, but I don’t need a daily reminder that our children share genetics with a stranger. That’s just our personal opinion and I realize why others feel differently. As for things like their lifestyle and health, you can tell a lot of that from their personal descriptions (height, weight, hobbies, medical history). Sure they can lie about some things, but height and weight are not something they can lie about since the cryobank staff sees them in person and is going to know if a 300 lb man writes down that he’s 180. We also read that our donor played football and ran track in school so felt it was safe to assume that he’s athletic and somewhat healthy when paired with his height and weight. Another thing you can do to gauge the fertility of your donor is check out the Donor Sibling Registry (just Google that) and you can search a donor’s ID number and find offspring of a donor. Ours had a few listed at the time we selected him so it was safe to assume he had good sperm. Now he’s up to 11 listed on the registry and that doesn’t include my two, so definitely a way to determine if everything is in working order on his part. Good luck making your selection!