Hey Ladies I am pregnant with #2 and my husband and I were talking about if this would be our last…And I really am sad thinking this would be my last pregnancy and child I always dreamed of having 4 but once you have 1 you realize its a lot of work!! I am just wondering how many kids everyone does have and how many you ladies want to have!! And also if you do have more than 2 children what input do you have!!! Thank you!!
Hey Tisha! My DH and I have always wanted 3 (we both came from families of 2 kids), but like you said, now that I have 1 I’m thinking we may stop at 2. Or maybe we’ll space out #2 and #3 a little bit more. It also depends on the gender of #2…I think if we get a boy next time around, we will stop and be happy with one of each. My husband is terrified of the thought of possibly having 3 girls :). I’m also thinking about time management with the kids activities later on. We both have full time careers and I don’t plan on slowing down with mine at all. I’ve been thinking lately about how I’d manage after school care, getiing kids to and from school, after school activities, etc with 3 vs. 2…along with working full time in a fairly demanding career. As well as traveling for work, etc. Can you tell I’m a worrier?
I have 5 kids ages 16,14, 7, 5 and 6 months. This is the way it is for me. The first was life changing and took the most getting used to. With the second in some ways it became easier but in others it got harder. Going from one to two took some juggling skills. But it was wonderful that they had each other…and still do.
When I had my 3rd it got easier. I’ve already figured out how to manage more then one. Plus I was so much more relaxed.
The 4th just fit right in. And now with the 5th I feel like I can take on a couple more ha ha.
It really does get easier with each one. And I think that a two year gap is the way to go. They play together they usually like the same things and they really are best friends. If there’s too much space between them then they are on totally different levels and don’t really play together. There just not that close.
when we were pg w//dd we thought maybe 1 more and didnt tie my tubes so trying for number 3 wee allso got number 4!! but this is it … would love more but i think my body cant take anymore lol good luck
My situation is alittle different. I had twins so I don’t know what it’s like to have just one child. When I was pregnant with the girls I said to everyone " I only have to do this once, I have my 2 children with one pregnancy". I believed this up until the day they were born. Well once they were here I wanted more!!! They are 17 months and we are currently trying for #3. I am a stay at home mom so I have lots of flexability, but I know lots and lots of moms who work and have more than 2 kids. You may feel different once your baby is born too. You may know… I really want to do this again or… there is no way I want anymore.
I have 5 kids ages 19, 18, 16, 15, and 19 months. I had the first four really young. One of those women that IF girls hate because it seemed to easy and I had them really close together.
I would suggest spacing them out a bit. Allowing each child to have one on one time with mom and dad. It is hard when they are close together because they tend to compete for the same things. I think it helps to have them in different stages in life so that the focus can really be on them and what they are interested in at the moment.
I will say it did get easier in some respects with each child. I wasn’t so nervous with the second and so forth. I pretty well knew what I was doing at least in the feeding, bathing, sleeping area.
It was also very hard to give each child the attention and time the deserved. Most activities were geared around what I could do with all of them and in some ways I felt like I was holding back the older kids. It was difficult to plan outings with them because most of the time it was just me taking all of them out.
With my 19 month old I am able to really focus on him and give him the attention he needs. He has me 24/7 and does everything with me right now. I like being able to just stop and explore the things he is interested in.
I always wanted 4 and my DH wanted 3. We went through years to have our first and then years of praying it would happen again and when it didn’t we moved onto adoption. Many in my family thought I was crazy when i said we were done. Since I only had one pregnancy they assumed we would go for one more. Two is more than enough for me. I have my boy and my girl and have both experiences so I’m good. I think having premature ovarian failure and having to use donor eggs that are a ton of money helped us make the decision. We may adopt again but only if a case falls in our lap. We will never pursue it. I think it’s just a feeling of completion. We feel complete as a family of four and I’m so thankful I was able to give my son at least one sibling. I would wait until #2 is born and go from there. Two is definately alot more challenging than one.
I have always said that I wanted one boy and one girl. However, I never imagined that it would happen in one fell swoop. I’ll have to play it by ear, but I can see us trying to have a third in a few years.
I have an almost 4yr old boy whose twin died at 18wks gestation. His sister was born 23mo later. When we started down the IVF road my DH said one time only. After A’s twin died, DH said we could try one more time. Well…I know want to go after the remaining 2 embryo’s. DH goes between do what you want to “are you trying to kill me?” I am 41 and he is 48. I am afraid that if I go after the embryos and it doesn’t work I will want to go thru IVF again…then what if it doesn’t work? or there are more embryos left over?
You bring up a really good point…its so much more complicated for IVFers when thinking about how many children to have! I hate when I get that question from people b/c there is so much more that goes into it than what it is for the average person…its not just how many you can handle financially, emotionally, etc, but also taking into account how many embryos you have left, can you afford to do more IVF cycles in the first place…
I always thought I wanted 3-4 kids…Ha! After having this one I am thinking that if we get a boy with our next try (which I cannot even imagine doing yet) we will be done, but if we have left over embies…I would feel like I would have to give them a try. I couldn’t just give them up or have them destroyed either. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there though!
I have 3~ almost 13, 11 & 7 ~ the seven year old is our first IVF baby. My husband and I wanted one more to even things out and because we always talked about 4 when we we younger~ but now I am 15 weeks pregnant with TWINS from our Aug. FET ( first fresh cycle was a BFN). So, we are back to odd numbers, but over the moon happy about it!! I have to agree with the woman who said it only gets easier. Going from 1 to 2 was the hardest~ from 2 to 3 was a breeze. Hoping for the same smooth sailing this time around!!
I always wanted 2. I have 3 and I would not change a thing!
Before trying to conceive, I always thought I wanted a few kids, never put a number on it. But after having been through all of this and seeing how wonderful they are, I want 4 or 5. We have 3, a 4 yr old and then 2 year old twins. However, because we are still in so much debt from the IVFs, we will have to stick with 3 although I desperately want one more.
As for how is it to have 3, I have never had 2 kids, went straight from 1 to 3, and that was a real life changer for sure. I don’t have a second to myself, but I wouldn’t change if for anything!
We have twins that are 11 months and we are a planning a FET for August 2011. I always wanted 5 but now I think the FET will be it for us. If we have a singleton we will consider more but not if we have twins again which we really pray we do not have because of the difficult pregnancy I had.
3 sounds perfect to me now though. Things change once you have them and know the work you have to put it. We have 9 frozen embabies which makes it a hard decision too because we don’t want to destroy them or donate but we can’t just keep having kids either till they are gone. I feel your pain and indecision on the matter. It is life changing either way and you have to do what is best for your family. Your husband may change his mind. Mine said no more no way after the twins and now he misses having a newborn so you never know!!
When we married we both said we wanted four…now DH says two and I say three. Okay…I really say two, but my heart wants three. I already think things would have to change even if we had two…currently I work full time and am away from home 13 hours a day M-Th and home all day Friday. I can’t see continuing full time with an 1 1/2 hour commute with two kids, let alone three.
We didn’t do IVF but had to use donor sperm so I have some of the same issues as those with leftover embryos (although less financially and emotionally complicated perhaps). We have three vials left but if it worked the first try would we keep those last vials and try for a third or just let them go (not sure what options are for selling, donating, giving back to cryobank, etc.) And then if we did use what’s left to TTC #3 and didn’t get pregnant would I be able to give up on TTC#3. Since our donor is retired and sold out, we would have to get another donor and I’m pretty sure we don’t want to go through that again unless it’s to have a second child. However, I know my DH is pretty set on two kids unless we had twins the second time around so it’s probably a moot point since we probably won’t be TTC#3…While I sometimes have my irrational hope for twins, realistically I think I don’t really want twins (although I’d be thrilled if I did have them). Sometimes I wish it was just easy to have more babies and all this thought didn’t have to go into it!!
I love hearing everyone’s thoughts and seeing how many kids everyone has and plans to have!!! My DH and I decided we are going to wait until Cohen arrives and see how we feel! Since I will have a boy and girl I feel that it may be easier to stick to just 2 but we will see!!
I remember when I really young and wanted 6 kids before I turned 30 however my fertility struggles put a damper on that so right now we have two (boy/girl twins) but we have five embies left and are considering maybe one more in a couple years. Hubby is saying that he getting up there in age and we need make a decision soon because he said more after he turns 45 which is 2 1/2 year away.
We are drawing the line at 3. We went from 0-2 so I have no idea what it’s like to have just one child. I’m scared to death about the changes we’re going to go through adding a 3rd into the mix. But still very excited. I’m also going to quit working and become a full time stay at home mom. With the cost of daycare for 3 kids 2 years old and under…it just doesn’t make sense for me to keep working. Anyway, good luck in making your decision. I have to honestly say I think we might have stopped at 2 if we didn’t have twins the first time. Not sure why, or if that’s true or not, but there ya go!