How to Cope? Please Help


My DH and I have been TTC for 5 going on 6 years. I need help with ways to cope with infertility. Like right now Im at work crying because I just don’t understand. We have done IVF and ive had 2 surgery’s to remove a small amount of Endo. All the drs we have went too keep telling us it shouldn’t be a problem however I haven’t seen :bfp:. I’m devastated and heartbroken. I try to stay optimistic but then I breakdown :grr: Any ideas on how to cope and accept this for what it is??? Id be so grateful for any suggestions. Thank you so much!


I don’t know if I have an answer for you. I can tell you that DH and I have pretty much decided the one IVF will be all we’ll do b/c of cost. But if there are frozen embryos, we’ll probably try a couple of FETs…since it’s not as costly.

I told myself that if babies don’t come in the picture, I’m going to live my life to the fullest and improve myself. Cheesy…I know. But I have to know that children are not the only purpose in my life. My “consolation prize” is going to be a PhD if we can’t have children. I hope that isn’t the case, but I do try to prepare myself for the worst if it comes to that.


What helped me cope after failed cycles is doing research and making plans for the next treatment. I cried a lot as well, especially after IVF #1 did not work. I also realized doctors do not have all the answers. They are busy and stick with their clinics protocol. I wish I was better informed before starting my first IVF.

There are some good books out there. Don’t give up, especially if all your problems are supposedly solved. Maybe you need to change your diet or exercise more/ less. In our case IVF was the only possibility due to male factor.:grouphug:


I think there are a million different ways to cope. This whole process takes such a toll on you emotionally and physically. If you need to cry, by all means cry! I cannot tell you how many times I’ve cried at work or hid in the bathroom. After our first failed cycle I started to write a blog - not to see how many people would follow or read, but to get all my thoughts and feelings out. I also got back into working out to help with my frustrations/anger/sadness.
This forum also helped me tremendously through all the tough times - because you don’t feel alone when you are here!
A quote that was passed on to me during one of my most difficult times in my life, that I have shared here is, “Tough times never last. Tough people do” and I feel that is a perfect saying for everyone that goes through what we all go through!
I wish you only the very best!!! :grouphug: