Infertility not only has taken my opportunity of being a biological mom away,but i am now starting to feel heavy strain on my relationships with family. I get very envious of pregnant women in my family. I feel that i am distancing myself from my husband. What are some things that you guys have done to stay positive?
Hi there, Hey i’ve found myself going through a similar thing on the relationship front. I have found myself distancing from my DH also, mostly as he wasn’t onboard the same way i was as we have out first round of icsi later this year. it took 6 months of a combo of fighting and ignoring eachother to really be able to look eachother in the eye and talk it through.we very nearly packed in recently. I just withdrew from everyone but esp him. Really try to hang in there, [I]My best advise is to talk to people you trust as much as you can stand to ; if it helps[/I] -[I] i found this to be really the most beneficial thing sometimes even when they didn’t understand because at least i was getting my true feelings out in a safe space[/I], do some things just for you. like get your hair done, have a massage , go to the movies by yourself ( if you like that kind of thing), If you need to avoid the pregnant ladies try to do it tactfully, but do it if it takes the edge off.
We had 4 new babies born in 2 years in my immediate family, and wierdly the regular family invites stopped, we totally get left out of some get togethers cause we don’t have any kids, so i’ve kind of experienced the other end of the stick - and I’ve found that kind of rejection to be a bit worse. i know the envy you’re talking about i don’t have any answers to that one - but i totally totally understand how that feels.
Sometimes i just can’t be around pregnant people or babies at all either - i think thats ok given the circumstances.
My heart goes out to you. :grouphug:
Most of my friends have not yet had children and my sisters all had their kids before DH and I started TTC. I feel very guilty though because I know that if one of my sisters gets pregnant again I am going to be annoyed and jealous. Also, a lady I know recently told me her and her DH wanted to start a family as soon as possible and lately I have just been waiting for her to make the big announcement. I cant say I have experienced what you are going through personally but if I am this negative and jealous before others get pregnant I can only imagine how I am going to feel when others do get pregnant!
I wish I had a good response, I have the same thing to look at. So many people around me getting pregnant. I have been fortunate that even though my DH doesn’t know what to say, he does listen. It has to me hard for him also. I have 3 weeks of emotions, then when my cycles starts one week of hope. Its a rollar coaster ride and it sucks. You feel so many emotions, it’s almost like grieving the loose of a love one.
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: