How to tell SD14?



I know it’s still early, but I’m hopeful and we are already wondering how to tell SD14 that I’m pregnant.

She is with us e/o weekend and holidays/summer. She is with us for Thanksgiving week and the week of Christmas. We are thinking that if all goes well, maybe tell her at the beginning of the Christmas holiday so she has time to adjust before going back to BMs house.

Background - BM and DH divorced 4 years ago, SD14 is the youngest of their 4 children. We do NOT have a good relationship with BM and I am afraid she will use our pregnancy negatively. (IE - your dad won’t have time for you, your dad will spend all his money on new baby, etc).

Any advice or suggestions?


Hi Stepmom33, if I were you, I’d be too excited to worry about anything… Enjoy this moment of finally achieving what you’ve been trying for, for so long. Having said that, I’m assuming that you and your hubby have a ?good relationship with SD14, if so, just sit her down and begin with how much you both love her, and your hubby can tell her and the rest of his kids that they’ll always be his special children (even if the new baby is going to be more precious to him, the other kids dont need to know that). If you guys share these feelings with SD14 BEFORE BM finds out about the pregnancy, the things YOU guys tell her will leave a bigger impact on her than BM brainwashing that’ll come later. Besides, SD14 is hopefully old enough to become excited at arrival of a new baby rather than feeling jealous. Once the baby comes, you can try to get SD involved in taking care of the baby, doing activities together etc, so that they have time to bond. I’m hopeful that this tactic is going to work. Good luck and heartiest congrats on your :bfp: !!


Hi Sandy1 - SD is stepdaughter. :slight_smile: In the past I’ve also looked for help on stepparenting sites and there are almost as many acronyms there as there are here - lol!

Thanks for the advice - I’m hoping we get to tell her and that she takes it well.