I may be going crazy


#1

So here’s the story - DH and I have been TTC for about 8 months now. At about 4 months in to the process, I had an irregular period and found out that I may not have been ovulating periodically. My doctor put me on Clomid 100mg and now I am on my 4th and final cycle :cross:

Anyway, just as we were starting to try, another friend was also starting TTC. We haven’t been in touch much lately, mostly because I have been avoiding her, like I have been trying to avoid being around pregnant women and those with new borns. The reason I am avoiding her is that she and other friends and she have dropped hints that she might be pregnant. She hasn’t told me anything, so I am not sure if they are actually pregnant. I just didn’t want to deal with all the emotions that come with having someone who is started out the journey the same time as we did, have a different, more happy outcome. Plus, I don’t know if I could keep a happy face when she tells me - I am afraid I will break down and start crying. So my approach has so far been - if I can avoid it, then I can save myself from all the stress and pain and hurt, and I don’t hurt a good friend in turn.

Anyway, now I am going to see her soon at a party (unfortunately, we are hosting so I can’t really not go) and I am freaking out about the encounter. I love throwing parties and have seen them as a way to keep my mind off all the craziness of the past few months. I am now regretting this event and wish there was a way I could just skip over the weekend.

Am I being paranoid and crazy? Is there anything I can do to avoid feeling like the terrible person who wants to avoid hearing a friend’s good news. Also, I don’t even know for sure if she is pregnant. :grr:


Our story:

Me: 32, annovulation
DH: Perfect in every way

Clomid Cycle 1: Failed
Clomid Cycle 2: Failed
Clomid Cycle 3:
12 day US: One dominant follicle, failed
Clomid Cycle 4:
14 day US: 3 follicles detected, ovidrel shot, timed intercourse :pray: Will know soon :cross:


#2

[quote=thesunwillshine]So here’s the story - DH and I have been TTC for about 8 months now. At about 4 months in to the process, I had an irregular period and found out that I may not have been ovulating periodically. My doctor put me on Clomid 100mg and now I am on my 4th and final cycle :cross:

Anyway, just as we were starting to try, another friend was also starting TTC. We haven’t been in touch much lately, mostly because I have been avoiding her, like I have been trying to avoid being around pregnant women and those with new borns. The reason I am avoiding her is that she and other friends and she have dropped hints that she might be pregnant. She hasn’t told me anything, so I am not sure if they are actually pregnant. I just didn’t want to deal with all the emotions that come with having someone who is started out the journey the same time as we did, have a different, more happy outcome. Plus, I don’t know if I could keep a happy face when she tells me - I am afraid I will break down and start crying. So my approach has so far been - if I can avoid it, then I can save myself from all the stress and pain and hurt, and I don’t hurt a good friend in turn.

Anyway, now I am going to see her soon at a party (unfortunately, we are hosting so I can’t really not go) and I am freaking out about the encounter. I love throwing parties and have seen them as a way to keep my mind off all the craziness of the past few months. I am now regretting this event and wish there was a way I could just skip over the weekend.

Am I being paranoid and crazy? Is there anything I can do to avoid feeling like the terrible person who wants to avoid hearing a friend’s good news. Also, I don’t even know for sure if she is pregnant. :grr:


Our story:

Me: 32, annovulation
DH: Perfect in every way

Clomid Cycle 1: Failed
Clomid Cycle 2: Failed
Clomid Cycle 3:
12 day US: One dominant follicle, failed
Clomid Cycle 4:
14 day US: 3 follicles detected, ovidrel shot, timed intercourse :pray: Will know soon :cross:[/quote]

Let me say this, I completely understand your feelings. As I have been on this journey it seems everyone is getting pregnant and having babies!! The day I found out I was miscarrying, I was so upset… My cousin called me so excited that him and his unwed girlfriend are pregnant! I wanted to be so happy for him, but just broke down and cried… It is so hard to be in this position. You are not crazy! You are perfectly normal. I have too dodged people I love because they are having babies… I will be praying for you and your situation! You can do it… you will make it through this!:pray: