I want off this planet. NOW!


#1

Last night, one of my customers asked me if I had kids. He’s been a random customer for years. Not a regular. (I own a restaurant.)

I told him “No, I don’t have kids but I have an awesome nephew!”

He replied, “Why don’t you have kids???”

Me: “I am waiting to go back to the fertility specialist.”

He said AND i QUOTE::: “Rub your stomach and say, “Jesus, I want a baby.” I will pray for you!!!”

I am an atheist. I wanted to punch him. I think I would have felt the same if I were a Jesus fan.

This was by far the dumbest thing a random person has ever said to me when it comes to this topic.

I have been asked this question dozens of times. Throughout the years, I have answered in many ways.

The past couple of years I have told them that I am dealing with infertility. This shuts most people up. Any other reply leads them into the “what are you waiting on” spill. Most people feel bad after I answer them. Oh, well. Don’t ask such a personal thing to a person you hardly know.

Anyone else have stories like this?


#2

I am not religious either, and it kills me when people used to give me the “God has other plans for you” type comments. I can’t stand when others interject their religion negatively upon me, especially when dealing with such a sensitive subject. Is that supposed to be comforting to anyone? Geesh! Can you imagine them telling someone with any other medical condition (cancer, for example) that that was God’s plan for them? Why is infertility fair game for such thoughtless comments?

My favorite, by far, though were the stories of a sister’s friend’s cousin who couldn’t get pregnant for years but then it just happened when they least expected it, or after they adopted. These stories were typically from people that I had explained our condition to. Ummm, what part of 'my husband has no vas deferens did you not understand? There will be no miracle conception here, thanks!

A friend of mine who was around during our first IVF cycle and knew ALL of the details of our situation just asked me the other day if our baby that I’m pregnant with now was natural, or if we needed help. Sigh…


#3

My MIL had a nun bring back some blessed St. Mary fertility token from Italy and told me to carry it with me! 1) I am NOT religious at all (agnostic bordering on atheist) and 2) as far as we know, we only had a slight MALE factor problem. She also had all of the nuns and her priest praying for us. While I think the sentiment is nice is does bother me now that she thinks the prayers are responsible for our kids. Uhm, I will thank the medical professionals, thanks!


#4

I’m not religious either but I have rubbed my belly and told “god” that if he wanted me to have faith he’d help me get pregnant. I laughed at myself after I did it, I felt ridiculous but I guess it was worth a shot.
I’m sorry that someone was so rude to you. People just don’t realize how bad their words can really hurt a person.


#5

We have a friend who is very religious (I am not) who keeps telling me about some kind of holy milky water that the church is praising as the breast milk of Mary. I should go on a pilgrimage to go to this spring somewhere on the other side of the world, then I’ll get pregnant. :grr:
I can’t pay for all the doctors let alone across the stupid globe to drink from some dirty old spring. The faith I have in that is that it would give me malaria.


#6

I think I am a little more religious than many people on this board. I do believe in God and I even go to church sometimes. I do realize that it is wrong to impose my beliefs onto others or even just assume that everyone else believes the things I do. But I also think that people who don’t believe in God should not automatically be offended and immediately think that people who do believe in a higher being are automatically stupid. I think if you can react that way, you are no different from a religious person who thinks all people who don’t believe in God are stupid also. This is the kind of intolerance that breeds so much hate and prejudice. It is good that sometimes we can just laugh about our differences and accept them in the end. We can agree to disagree. Respect and tolerance goes both ways.


#7

Joeld- Thanks for your 2 cents. I would agree that respect and tolerance goes both ways which is why many of us are offended when others purge their beliefs on us in the face of a most difficult time and subject.


#8

We just need our own island nation

You guys will love this story.

I’m at work with a coworker, we are in a lab waiting for some process to complete so we had 10-15 minutes to chit chat. He turns to me,

Him: "Jenny can I ask you a question?"
Me: "Sure."
Him: "Are you married?"
Me: "No I’m single"
Him: "How come, isn’t it every woman’s desire to be a mother and have children?"
Me: "i’m 37"
Him: "plenty of time my wife had our last child at 38"
Me: "I dunno, haven’t found the guy and I haven’t been trying hard to find one"
Mind you he has like 10+ children, I tried counting the faces on the pictures in his cubical.
Him: "I know someone in my church but you are not religous"
me: “No, not really”

insert his finding jesus christ and how he got there 15 minute speech <<
me: “umm yeah no religion is not for me”


I’m not in the same situation as most on the forum but I do admire married people who are committed to each other and want a family to share that with. I admire singles who want a family as well. It’s just every person’s situation is different, we don’t plan our lives being like this, it just happened that way. Other’s should be more sensitive to that.

BTW I’m preserving my fertility and starting stims this week. I’m excited and I decided to do this on my 38th bday. wish me luck!


#9

Myself being an atheist as well, I cannot believe that someone would actually just tell you it’s just that simple.

Really?

Do the REs out there know of this wonderful new advancement? Seems they would be out of business by now…

So dumb.