I’ve had more people this week ask me two questions and its making me want explode.
Q:Are you pregnant?
B: no I’m just fat. And it’s people who have no idea I’m trying. All these hormones have made gain weight and I gain it at my tummy. I am trying desperately to lose this weight but the tummy is not going anywhere
Q: Have you considered adoption?
A: this comes from people who know we are wanting a child. And yes I have and no I don’t want to. I am adopted and I have been a big advocate of adoption. But I decided a long time ago that I wanted my own child. My parents had a natural child before me. And whe I look at their bond, it makes me want that even more. I know they love me, sometimes more than they love my sister. And I know I’ve been amazingly blessed. And I 100% support adoption and will continue to advocate for it. But I still have issues that I feel I would transfer to an adopted child. And it’s a conscious choice based on those two reasons why I have chosen not to adopt. Plus my husband is also not wanting to adopt. He wants his own child as well. The only one who has not asked is a friend who is also adopted and is doing IVF right now for their second child.
I wish this was less difficult. I wish I had not waited. I wish so many things. But the reality is, I may never have my own family.