I wish people would stop asking


#1

I’ve had more people this week ask me two questions and its making me want explode.

Q:Are you pregnant?
B: no I’m just fat. And it’s people who have no idea I’m trying. All these hormones have made gain weight and I gain it at my tummy. I am trying desperately to lose this weight but the tummy is not going anywhere

Q: Have you considered adoption?
A: this comes from people who know we are wanting a child. And yes I have and no I don’t want to. I am adopted and I have been a big advocate of adoption. But I decided a long time ago that I wanted my own child. My parents had a natural child before me. And whe I look at their bond, it makes me want that even more. I know they love me, sometimes more than they love my sister. And I know I’ve been amazingly blessed. And I 100% support adoption and will continue to advocate for it. But I still have issues that I feel I would transfer to an adopted child. And it’s a conscious choice based on those two reasons why I have chosen not to adopt. Plus my husband is also not wanting to adopt. He wants his own child as well. The only one who has not asked is a friend who is also adopted and is doing IVF right now for their second child.

I wish this was less difficult. I wish I had not waited. I wish so many things. But the reality is, I may never have my own family.


#2

Trust me. I think we ALL have been through those annoying, insensitive questions (I know I have) and it just makes you want to scream and rip out your hair at times!

No I’m not pregnant! I’m FAT and bloated from injects thank you very much…UGH :grr:

I understand how wonderful adoption is for some people but, for me, for right now, it’s not the right thing. It’s a great option for some but not for all. That and I personally saw an adoption go…horribly wrong at the very end. It was heartbreaking. So, after seeing that it’s still very fresh in my mind. So sad.


#3

Sorry that you are going through this! The process in itself is so hard that you don’t need other peoples comments. :grouphug:

I feel you about people thinking you are pregnant. I am currently on 2nd cycle of Clomid (currently on CD20 of 2WW) and since the start of clomid I have been asked…not kidding…about 20 times if I am pregnant. I tend to be a little smaller so the added stomach weight is very noticeable. Freaking out b/c tonight I have some of my family coming over (they don’t know that we are trying right now b/c we didn’t want the added pressure) and started to cry b/c it was hard to find something to wear that didn’t show the belly too much.

Hang in there! I respect your decision regarding adoption but just remember - you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. All this is a very personal decision and one that I am sure you and hubby have spent a lot of time deciding.

I wish you the very best.


#4

:frowning:

So sorry to hear that. I know it’s hard. My cousin is going through infertility so sometimes those comments just hits her so hard she starts crying on the spot. She knows they’re only trying to help but it just makes her feel worse.
:frowning:


#5

[quote=Spenanelson]I’ve had more people this week ask me two questions and its making me want explode.

Q:Are you pregnant?
B: no I’m just fat. And it’s people who have no idea I’m trying. All these hormones have made gain weight and I gain it at my tummy. I am trying desperately to lose this weight but the tummy is not going anywhere

Q: Have you considered adoption?
A: this comes from people who know we are wanting a child. And yes I have and no I don’t want to. I am adopted and I have been a big advocate of adoption. But I decided a long time ago that I wanted my own child. My parents had a natural child before me. And whe I look at their bond, it makes me want that even more. I know they love me, sometimes more than they love my sister. And I know I’ve been amazingly blessed. And I 100% support adoption and will continue to advocate for it. But I still have issues that I feel I would transfer to an adopted child. And it’s a conscious choice based on those two reasons why I have chosen not to adopt. Plus my husband is also not wanting to adopt. He wants his own child as well. The only one who has not asked is a friend who is also adopted and is doing IVF right now for their second child.

I wish this was less difficult. I wish I had not waited. I wish so many things. But the reality is, I may never have my own family.[/quote]

I was soo rooting for you when you did your last IVF. Unfortunately for both of us it didn’t end up the way we had hoped:( I too have gained around 50 lbs since the start of this infertility journey. I struggle so hard not to let it get to be but it does. and still i have no baby to show for it. I will never understand why some of us have to struggle so and it just comes so easily to others.


#6

[quote=Spenanelson]I’ve had more people this week ask me two questions and its making me want explode.

Q:Are you pregnant?
B: no I’m just fat. And it’s people who have no idea I’m trying. All these hormones have made gain weight and I gain it at my tummy. I am trying desperately to lose this weight but the tummy is not going anywhere

Q: Have you considered adoption?
A: this comes from people who know we are wanting a child. And yes I have and no I don’t want to. I am adopted and I have been a big advocate of adoption. But I decided a long time ago that I wanted my own child. My parents had a natural child before me. And whe I look at their bond, it makes me want that even more. I know they love me, sometimes more than they love my sister. And I know I’ve been amazingly blessed. And I 100% support adoption and will continue to advocate for it. But I still have issues that I feel I would transfer to an adopted child. And it’s a conscious choice based on those two reasons why I have chosen not to adopt. Plus my husband is also not wanting to adopt. He wants his own child as well. The only one who has not asked is a friend who is also adopted and is doing IVF right now for their second child.

I wish this was less difficult. I wish I had not waited. I wish so many things. But the reality is, I may never have my own family.[/quote]

I’ve been where you are- where people kept asking and asking. I had a a friend who very persistent. It got to the point where I couldn’t even answer the phone. I didn’t feel supported. I felt interrogated. I used to love this friend like she was my sister. But when infertility came into my life- I had no desire whatsoever to have any kind of conversation with her.